~A Dictionary won't help.~

920 15 16
                                    


Davina

Beep-Beep-Beep

I startle awake and sit up in confusion. I look over to the alarm hoping to shut it off as any other person would, but no. As I look at my alarm it was 9 am meaning I was late for school. "Shit!" Quickly, I throw the blankets off to the side and run into my bathroom. "Brush. Brush. Where the fuck is my brush!?" I was basically a hurricane passing through my bathroom in an attempt to find my brush. I was moving everything to places it didn't go. I'll clean it later. 

"Aha!" Finally, I find my brush behind my laundry basket. Don't ask me why it was there, not even I know how it got there. Not having time to be neat or nice, I pull my hair into a ponytail and brush my teeth in less than 10 seconds. Running into my closet I pull a sweatshirt off the hanger not looking. I slip it on and slide a drawer open grabbing jeans. Once again not even looking to see if it matched. "Come on!" Struggling to go any faster I jump while putting on my jeans causing me to trip. I didn't fall however as I catch myself before I do. 

"Keys." Snatching my keys from the counter, I sprint out of the house. 


"And exactly why are you late?" My teacher snaps at me when I walk into 3 period. "I woke up late mam." A simple reply should let satisfy her. I take my seat in the corner and look back up at her annoyed face. "It seems to me like you obviously don't care about school." Drama queen. "It's not like I purposely slept through alarms." Her eyes widen as I reply with a straight tone. "Did you just talk back to me Davina?" Ok, this lady is crazy. "What- I didn't even-" She puts her hand up for me to stop and I do. "Well since you are doing so.. go to the office ill call to tell them the issue." To not make a scene I roll my eyes and walk back out of the classroom. "Bitch." 

I stayed in the office the entire school day just sitting in the principles office as he monitored the halls. I had sat in silence for 5 hours. At last, He walked back into the office. "The school day is over you may leave." Standing up I grab my bag and walk out. "Thanks," I tell the principal. He nods and I walk away.

When I reach my car a vibration comes from my pocket. I slip my phone out of my pocket and get into my malibu. On the screen was Xavier-incoming call. Clicking the Accept button I place my phone in the cupholder as I turn the car on. "Hey." I hear Xavier's rich voice through my speakers. I assume my phone is connected to my Bluetooth screen.

"Hey." Putting the car in reverse I start backing out. "Sorry if it's noisy I'm driving home," I say following my gesture. Xavier chuckles and hums in an ok form. "Calling to make sure you haven't gone crazy without me. I can tell you haven't." His remark makes me laugh. "Eh. Not quite sure that's true." I reply scoffing. I mean I wasn't breaking down. Still doesn't mean I Don't miss him. I do. And it's only been 2 days. 

"Hmm. And why is that?" Xavier says making me sigh. "Well for starters, I get cold at night." He laughs at my complaint. I'm fine with it though because I laughed along with him. "Second, I have no one to cheat off of in math." I hear Xavier scoff. "I see how it is. Using me huh? I blush. "You know that's not true." The feeling of butterflies in my stomach spreads through my quivering body at the thought of him saying that to my face.

"Mhm... even if you were, I wouldn't mind. I let you use me for anything Vina. I mean it." Xavier's playful voice turns low and husky. The traffic light turns red and I let go of the steering wheel as I come to a stop, running my hands over my face. "Vinaaa... you there love?"

love

"Oh yeah sorry I was just thinking about something." My eyes flutter at the new name he calls me. I quickly recover from it, hiding it from my voice. "And what's that?" I throw my head back onto my seat sighing. "Emma wants me to go to this party with her and her tutor Alex." Xavier's breath skips. I notice and look at my phone as if he were the phone. "Xavier? Something wrong?" He clears his throat and finally responds. "Yeah sorry, it's just.. you sure you're into that kinda stuff? Like parties and shit?" Knowing exactly why he suddenly was asking that I sigh and don't respond. 

He has every right to be scared of my safety, I would be lying if I said I wasn't afraid for myself either. Though he can't keep me locked up like a porcelain doll he doesn't want to be damaged by the true horrors and diseases of this harsh world. I'm not his rapunzel. Unless of course, there's something else he's afraid might happen. Something he hasn't shared. Something he hasn't told me. Something he doesn't want me to know. Something.. he doesn't trust me with?

No.

Stop.

I only torture myself with past trust issues created by others that I cant seem to separate from people I TRUST. This world has its tricks. You may be able to trust someone again after being hurt, but the real question society keeps asking is.. will it be the same kind of trust. Is it even trust? Or is it just a word you now hand out like deck cards to people you hope will restore the feeling you once had? The feeling that there were never secrets. The feeling that you were to worry about nothing. The feeling of true happiness. The feeling of true, sincere, trust. 

Trust.

It might as well be more confusing than love. or. Is it the same? Is it something that comes in a buy 1 get the other free? Do they come hand in hand?

Of course, they do. Because this bullshit of a world fails to tell us that love is trust. so what are you to do when you know what to do with the Love part... but now you have nowhere to place the trust. No status. What are you to do when you're falling hopelessly and madly in love, but you don't know whether you know what the true meaning of trust is. What are you to do if you find out that you may never be cable of trusting another person after one incident? After that incident. The incident has nothing to do with the person you care so much about. But rather about someone you no longer have contact with after they broke the one thing that you had control over.

Trust.

Well then that puts me in a pickle... doesn't it?



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I AM SO SORRY I DIDINT REALIZE A WHOLE 2 WEEKS HAD PASSED SINCE MY LAST POST GHEGHFEHGUEGIEHHBIEHGI

heres this chapter! I will try my hardest to have a double update and post tmr. LOve yall!!!!

Questions?-

Theories?-

Who do you think broke Davina's trust?-

Do you think Xavier being protective of Davina is a good thing or a bad thing and why?-


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