Falling (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Realistic

After having finished his literature test, Charlie scrolled back through his phone, rereading last night's text conversation with Nick, smiling.

Tao looked over his shoulder and clucked his tongue in disapproval. "He's straight, Charlie. Like, you only need to glance at him to see that he's a massive heterosexual. Isaac, back me up on this."

Isaac looked up from his book long enough to nod. "Ginormous heterosexual."

"Exactly."

"Masculine guys can be gay," Charlie argued. "No offense, but you're not exactly the authority on working out who is and isn't gay." He turned to Isaac. "And bisexual people exist."

Isaac nodded again and smiled.

Still. Charlie sighed, looking at Tao. "I know he's straight. He told me."

"So, you need to get over him."

More easily said than done. Nick's smile, his warm brown eyes, his voice, his laugh, the way he filled out his shirts ... There was a lot there to get over.

At lunch, Charlie marched into the art room. Mr. Ajayi would know what he should do. "Mr. Ajayi."

"Charlie Spring."

"I have a question."

"Well, I am officially a beacon of learning, so fire away."

"How do I stop liking someone? Specifically a straight guy." He sat down, waiting for Mr. Ajayi's sage advice.

"Ah. The question for the ages." Mr. Ajayi folded his arms. "I thought you had a boyfriend."

"No. No, he was horrible. This is someone else."

"Wow. Being a teenager is terrible."

Charlie grinned.

"You know, when I was a teenager and had a crush on a straight boy, I just repressed it and suffered."

"That doesn't sound very healthy."

"Mm. Now, this may seem obvious, but have you tried putting some space between you?"

Charlie got up and picked up his books. Clearly he had come to the wrong place for guidance. "I can't do that."

"Can't, or don't want to?"

"Nope."

"I'm just saying—"

"I needed realistic solutions. He's ... He's a really good friend."

"I'm afraid you're just going to have to suffer, then," Mr. Ajayi called after him as he left the room.

That night he and Nick had another marathon texting session, and Charlie found himself laughing so much his sister Tori came to his door to find out if he was okay. He told her he was, and she raised an eyebrow suspiciously before gliding back to her own room.

The next morning in form, Charlie noticed Nick had a lot of brown hairs stuck to his shirt sleeve. He pointed them out to Nick—that could get him a dress code infraction. Nick hastily scrubbed them off. "My dog. Mostly I try not to play with her when I'm dressed for school, but sometimes she's just too cute. You want to see a picture?"

"Sure."

Nick pulled out his phone, scrolling through. "This is Nellie."

She was beautiful—fluffy and sweet-looking. "Oh, my God, she's so cute. I wish I had a dog. My parents don't like animals."

"You should come round my house and meet her," Nick suggested. "Are you free on Saturday?"

Could he go to Nick's house and spend the day with him? Yes, please. Charlie couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. "Yeah. I think so."

Nick smiled back. "Great. Here, I'll text you my address. Like, noon?"

"Sounds good." Charlie looked at the address. "Oh, I know where that is. It's only about ten minutes from my house. I can walk."

"Great. See you then." They smiled at each other again, and Charlie tried not to be as excited as he was. Nick was straight, he reminded himself. They were just friends. Maybe he should tattoo that on his hand so he could see it every time he was tempted to wish for more.

Friday night, his mum picked him up after school. "We're going to get you a haircut, Charlie."

"Oh, no! Why? I mean, it's fine, isn't it?"

"It's getting unruly. And I made the appointment a month ago."

All his efforts to talk her out of it went unnoticed. He went, and his hair was cut, and he watched the mirror anxiously to make sure it wasn't too short. The last thing he wanted was to go to Nick's house for the first time and have his hair look weird.

But Saturday morning came and Charlie couldn't stop fussing with his bangs in the mirror. They just didn't seem to lie right. Even once he was ready to go, he stopped and looked in the mirror in the entry. Yes, his hair was too short.

"Hi."

Charlie jumped, turning to see his sister leaning in the doorway. "God, Tori."

"Where you going?"

"Round a friend's." That smile was on his face again. He couldn't seem to stop it.

"Tao's?"

"No. His ... his name's Nick." He looked in the mirror again. "Is my hair too short?"

"It looks the same."

"But is it okay?"

"It looks the same," she repeated.

Charlie frowned at her. "Great. Thanks."

"Have fun at Nick's."

And she was gone. Charlie retrieved his hat and jacket and set out, trying to time his walk so he'd arrive just at noon. When he turned onto Nick's street, he checked his phone to make sure he got the right house number.

Standing in front of the door, he reached for the doorbell, but his hand was shaking, and he quickly pulled it back. What if it was terrible? What if they had no fun, and Nick discovered he didn't like hanging out with Charlie, and then they weren't friends anymore?

Well, he was here. And if he didn't ring the doorbell, and he didn't go in, they wouldn't be friends anymore anyway.

This time when he reached out, he actually rang the bell.