Falling (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Hickey

As he had expected, Charlie felt uncomfortable and proud in about equal measure as he walked through breakfast and heard the whispers begin. He could see that Elle and Tara and Imogen and Sahar were all trying to stare discreetly. But it wasn't clear that Darcy had ever heard of the word 'discreet', and her "Oh, my God!" was loud enough to be heard in Kent.

If people hadn't already been staring, they would be now.

Charlie glanced at Nick, seeing the panicked, apologetic look on his face, and smiled. "It's all right," he whispered, taking his seat at the breakfast table. "I don't mind."

"I'm so sorry!"

"I know."

As they were eating—or, in Charlie's case, not eating and trying to make it look like he was—a few kids came by, loudly discussing Charlie's hickey. After they passed, Tao leaned forward, frowning. "I blame Nick entirely."

"That's fair," Nick agreed.

Charlie wasn't having that. He'd been quite happy to let Nick kiss his neck; in fact, he hoped he'd do it again as soon as possible, although maybe more carefully next time. "It wasn't just his fault," he protested. "I was also involved."

Tao made a face. "Ugh! No need for the gory details."

The rest of the table dissolved in giggles.

"Oi, Charlie Spring! Who gave you that hickey?" Harry Greene, possibly the only person Charlie knew who was less discreet than Darcy. He and all of his mates laughed, and Charlie's whole table froze.

"Well, that's not ideal," Isaac offered, smiling gently at Charlie.

Nick glanced at Charlie's plate, immediately catching on to the way Charlie had crumbled up the food and not actually eaten any of it. "Not hungry?"

"Not really."

"Okay. Well, um ... I'll pack you a croissant, so if you get hungry later, you'll have a snack." He wrapped it in a napkin and tucked it into his bag.

The croissant didn't look all that appetizing, but Nick was so sweeet to think of it, Charlie couldn't bear to tell him not to bring it. "You're the best."

Harry was in front of Charlie as they climbed onto the coach. "Way to go, Charlie. Something to be proud about, isn't it? Getting some action." He laughed again.

It was, in fact. Charlie only wished he could tell everyone who had given it to him.

Another boy stopped him on the way down the aisle. "Wait, is it true James McEwan gave you that hickey?"

James was nice enough, but Charlie thought he might be interested in Isaac, and he would hate if rumours got started that got in the way of that. "What?"

"He's the only other gay guy on the trip, so ..."

Charlie took a seat, listening to the whispers and speculations all round him. Tao sank into the seat next to him. "Leave him alone. It's none of your business."

James looked over at them all—but, it appeared to Charlie, especially at Isaac. "It—it wasn't me. I mean, obviously, you know it wasn't me."

Nodding, Charlie tried to smile at him, but mostly he just wanted to get off the coach and away from all of them.

Once they were off the coach, they gathered round Mr. Farouk and Mr. Ajayi, not far from the Eiffel Tower, and were reminded by the two teachers that this was a school trip, and there would be schoolwork to do. And then were separated into pairs chosen by the teachers. Nick was assigned to work with Ben, who tried to get out of it by saying he didn't want to be paired with Nick. Mr. Farouk was having none of that, so no one else tried to get their pairs changed, either.

Charlie was assigned to work with James, which got a loud "Whey!" from Harry and his mates.

As he worked on filling out the worksheet, James said, "So stupid everybody thinks it was me. Like, just because we're both gay, it means we must fancy each other. No offense."

"None taken." Charlie agreed with him, actually.

James hesitated, then said, "Do you think Isaac thinks it was me? I ... I just don't want him to think it was me."

"He knows it wasn't you," Charlie assured him.

"Oh. Okay." James smiled, clearly relieved. He started to write in an answer, then stopped. "It wasn't him, was it?"

Charlie laughed. "No!" He wished he could tell James who it was, to put his mind at ease, but without checking with Nick first didn't feel comfortable saying.

Finally the schoolwork portion of the day ended, and the climbing the stairs to the top portion began. Nick wanted to be the first ones up there, so they ran ahead. "Too many stairs!" Charlie groaned.

Nick took his hand, leading him up. "We're going now. Come on! We have to get there before everyone."

"Can I have a break?"

"I've got you. You can do it! It's the last stretch," Nick promised.

"It's not!" Charlie could see how many stairs still lay ahead of them. "We've got so much further to go!"

Nick laughed. "Come on!"

They were, in fact, the first ones to the top, followed closely by Tao and Elle. Nick led Charlie to the railing, looking out over Paris together.

Then all their friends were gathered round them, taking pictures and laughing, and Charlie forgot all about the morning, and Ben and Harry, and being stared at.

He and Nick broke away again in a bit and went to stand together. "Okay, this is the most beautiful sight," Charlie admitted.

"We need to get a selfie for my mum."

He loved the idea of sending a selfie to Sarah. He could see just how she would smile when she saw it. "Okay."

They took the photo and turned back to Paris. "She's going to love that."

"She is."

Below them, a boy called Nick's name. "Is that hickey from you, then?"

Charlie tensed. He wanted Nick to say yes, but he also wanted Nick to know he didn't have to. This wasn't the way he had to come out, not if he didn't want to.

But Nick stayed relaxed. "What if it was? You jealous?"

As Charlie smiled at him, surprised and delighted, the boy grumbled, "I'm not gay," as all his mates laughed.

"Nah, leave 'em alone, lads. Come on."

Still staring at Nick, it took Charlie a moment to realise it had been Harry encouraging the other boys to leave off.

Nick frowned. "Did Harry just stick up for us?"

"I think he did." Would wonders never cease.

"Weird."

"Maybe we shouldn't be hanging out right now," Charlie suggested. "More people might think it was you who ... you know."

"You, um ..." Nick gave him a flirty smile. "You do know it was me, right?"

Charlie smiled back. "Yeah, I think I remember you being there."

"Yeah? Good." For a moment, Charlie thought Nick might kiss him, but then he looked away.

Their hands were resting on the railing next to each other, and Charlie reached out a finger, brushing Nick's knuckles, feeling the crackle of electricity that always came when they touched. Then he pulled his hands away. "Let's go find the others."