Falling (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Acceptance

They agreed that Nick would come back to Charlie's after school. Sitting side by side on the bus, feeling the warmth of Nick's arm through layers of blazer and sweater and shirt, Charlie could barely contain himself from standing up and shouting out "This is my boyfriend!"

Someday he would be able to, he told himself. Someday. For now, this was enough.

They wrangled cheerfully about details of their past history all the way from the bus stop to Charlie's house, dropped their things and their shoes at the door, and then hurried to Charlie's room. Nick closed the door behind them. Charlie could barely wait long enough to hear it click before he pounced, the force of their bodies pushing Nick back against the door. He grasped the back of Charlie's jacket, holding him there while they kissed eagerly.

"I think we were meant to be studying," he said after a long while.

"Who needs to study?" Charlie asked, leaning in to kiss him again. Yes, he was behind in his homework, but what did it matter? He could catch up easily.

"I think I might," Nick murmured, but he returned the kiss anyway. Next time they stopped for breath, he checked his phone. "My mum wants you to come for dinner. You okay with that?"

Charlie found he was. He looked forward to seeing Sarah, to being at Nick's house with her and Nellie, everyone in the room knowing they were a couple. He'd never had that before. "Yeah. You, um, you want to go now?" It would be easier to get permission if his parents weren't home before he left.

"Sounds good."

They got to Nick's house, both of them bending down to pet Nellie, and then found his mum in the kitchen. She was holding her breath a little, Charlie could see, and he was, too. Then she smiled. "Charlie! Good to see you."

"Thank you, Mrs. Nelson."

She looked at him, serious but kind, and said, "Now, I think I've told you it's okay for you to call me Sarah. And if you're going to be around a lot, and for a long time, which I hope you are, I wish you would."

It was more than he could have imagined. He'd wondered, occasionally, what it would be like if she knew, but he had never imagined such immediate acceptance. Charlie swallowed against the lump in his throat and glanced at Nick, who was smiling broadly at both of them. "Oh. Um, okay. Thanks ... Sarah."

"There now. That's better. Now you boys go finish your homework while I put dinner together."

"How do you know it's not already done?" Nick asked her.

She grinned at him. "It isn't, is it?"

"Well, maybe not. Do you need any help?"

"I'll let you know when I need the table set."

They went upstairs to Nick's room, but Charlie hadn't brought his backpack, so they played MarioKart instead. And as usual, Nick lost. And as usual, he pleaded with Charlie "Just let me win!"

Not that he was getting anywhere with that. Charlie was MarioKart champion for life.

Nick dropped the controller and put his face in his hands. "I can't do this anymore!"

Charlie laughed at him and mussed his hair. "I'm sorry." He'd never done that before, and he'd always wanted to.

Looking at him, hair completely messed up, Nick said, "That was uncalled for."

"Will this make it better?" And Charlie leaned in and kissed him, soft and sweet.

"Maybe," Nick breathed against Charlie's lips, pushing him back on the bed, kissing him some more.

It seemed like no time at all before Nick's mum was calling them downstairs. She had her back to them when they came into the kitchen, looking at each other guiltily but happily. They started setting the table, Charlie now fairly familiar with where things were kept in the Nelson kitchen.

The meal was lovely. Charlie didn't even think about what he was eating, or how much, as they chatted with Nick's mum and he snuck bites to Nellie. He decided it was okay this time—it was kind of a celebration, after all, each of them happy to be there.

After dinner, Sarah sent Nick to take Nellie for a walk and she and Charlie stood side by side next to the sink, scraping and rinsing the plates.

"Charlie," she began softly, and he froze, feeling suddenly queasy and wishing he hadn't eaten so much. "I just ... I want you to know that you are welcome here anytime. You—" She set her dish down and turned to look at him. "You have made my Nicky so happy. Before he met you, he ... well, he was content, but he had lost all his ... all his colour. And now—well. You see how he is now."

He had a hard time believing that. Nick had been so unhappy, so much of that time. "But he— this spring," Charlie stammered. "He had such a hard time. The fight, and everything. I know it was all my fault."

Sarah shook her head. "I've met Harry Greene a few times myself," she told him, "and I know whose fault that was. I don't hold with fighting, but I don't think you do, either, and Nick wouldn't have if he hadn't been very angry. I've talked to him about it, I hope nothing like it will happen again. But that's not your fault. And the rest of it ... Change is hard, Charlie. I wish he'd talked to me about it, but he felt he had to get through on his own."

Charlie nodded. He would have stopped Nick if he'd been there, and he didn't want Nick to get into a fight again. And he also wished Nick would have talked to him more, but he knew Nick had been afraid to burden him. Before he could put any of that into words, they both heard the sound of Nick returning, talking to Nellie even as he hung up her leash.

When he came back into the kitchen, he looked between the two of them, tensing immediately. "Everything okay?"

Charlie nodded.

Sarah said, "I was just telling Charlie, or just about to tell him, that I want you both to know that you can talk to me. I may not always know what to say, but ... I am here."

Nick smiled, the tension easing. "Thanks, Mum."

"Thank you, Sarah," Charlie said in a whisper. He didn't know if he would ever feel comfortable bringing his troubles to her ... but it was nice to know that he could. He cleared his throat. "I should go. I do actually still have homework to finish."

"Charlie the brilliant still needs to do homework?" Nick teased, and Charlie blushed. If Nick only knew how far behind he was. "I'll walk you to the door."

"And I'll finish the dishes," Sarah said, turning back to the sink and scraping extra loudly at a plate. Charlie wondered if that was so they wouldn't think she was watching them, or monitoring how long it took them to say good-bye.

Nick reached for his hand. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"You'll see me tomorrow."

"One more kiss so I'll believe it."

Charlie smiled. "No. You have to wait." But then Nick pouted, and that was so adorable Charlie kissed him anyway. "Fine, have it your way."

Nick grinned. "Good-night."

"Good-night."