Falling (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Happiness

The last time Charlie had been this happy to go to school had been the first day of the new term. And even then, he might have thought he was happy, but it was nothing like this. Then again, that first day had also been the day he met Nick, so maybe he'd been happier than he knew.

Still—today was better. They had texted on and off all day yesterday and late into the night, neither of them wanting to stop and go to sleep. And on the way here, Nick had texted him "See you soon" with a whole string of hearts after it.

Charlie couldn't stop smiling as he walked through the corridors, and he didn't care who noticed. He paused in the doorway of form, taking a deep breath, trying to believe this was really happening, trying to calm the butterflies in his stomach.

If he'd worried that keeping things a secret would make it feel like nothing had happened between them, he needn't have. The smile on Nick's face as Charlie approached their table was a match for the one on Charlie's, and there was a warmth in his eyes that was there just for Charlie. If possible, Charlie's smile widened as he took his seat. "Hi."

"Hi."

They both looked away from each other, looking down, trying to hide their happiness, but it just wasn't possible. Their eyes were drawn back to one another, both of them laughing at how ridiculous they were, and how good it felt.

Halfway through the morning, unable to focus on anything else, Charlie realised he wasn't going to be able to make it through the day without seeing Nick again. He texted "meet me for lunch in the art room?"

"The art room? You sure?"

"it'll be fine"

"Then YES!! See you then."

Charlie got stopped by Tao and Isaac on his way to the art room, Tao looking concerned that he wasn't having lunch with them—often a sign that Charlie was in a bad place. But Isaac looked him over and smiled and said, "I think it's okay today, Tao. Let's just go eat together."

He didn't see how, but Charlie had a funny feeling Isaac had put two and two together and come up with him and Nick.

Mr. Ajayi met him at the art room door. "There's a boy in there, waiting for you."

"Oh." Charlie smiled. There might have been a small part of him that had been afraid Nick wouldn't come. "Yeah."

"Is it the secret boyfriend or the straight boy crush?"

"He's on the rugby team."

"Hm."

"I joined the rugby team."

"Mmm. 'Course you did." Mr. Ajayi smiled. "Well, don't get any crumbs on the floor or I'll get told off by the cleaners. Again."

Charlie went into the room, and Nick was there, sitting by the window. He was so beautiful. His smile lit up his whole face.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"I missed you," Nick said as Charlie took the seat next to him.

Well, that was just ridiculous. And completely lovely. As was the way Nick was looking at him, like he really had missed him all morning. "I saw you in form, like, four hours ago."

Nick laughed. "You sure your friends don't mind you ditching them to eat lunch with me?"

"Nah. They can deal with it. Clearly, I need to be here, to get tips on how to be good at rugby."

"Oh, really? So that's what this is actually all about, then?" Flirty Nick was absolutely adorable, blush and all.

"Maybe." They smiled ridiculous smiles at each other.

Under the table, Nick reached for Charlie's hand, stroking the backs of his fingers with his thumb. "Feels nice to be able to ditch my friends for once," he said thoughtfully. "All they want to do at lunch is just sit on the field and chuck stuff at people."

"Chuck stuff?"

"Yep. Mainly Harry. He's an idiot. My friends are nothing like you." Nick leaned forward in his chair and looked at him in a way that made Charlie feel like he was really seeing him, all of him. Then he looked away, around at all the art on the walls. "Are we even allowed in here?"

"Yeah. I used to come in here a lot last year, like, when the bullying was really bad." He didn't think he could explain how hard it was just to learn to mention it like that, to admit what had happened and to put it behind him. "Mr. Ajayi was the only teacher who really cared that much."

"Well, he was giving me evils before you got here."

Charlie wished he'd gotten here sooner, so he could have explained who Nick was. "He must have thought you were Ben. I told him about the 'Ben making me keep us a secret' thing."

Immediately he knew he had said the wrong thing. Guilt was written all over Nick's face, and he started to pull his hand away. Charlie held on to it with both of his.

He leaned toward Nick, speaking quickly, wanting Nick to understand that it really was okay. "Not ... I mean, that's nothing like what we're doing. You're nothing like him. This is completely different."

"Yeah." Nick said at last, smiling, but some of the joy had gone out of him, and Charlie resolved not to mention Ben again if he could help it.

That Wednesday, rugby practise was rained out, so Nick asked Charlie to come over to study after school.

In the entry, Nick hung up Charlie's dripping coat. "See?" Charlie held his hands out. "Completely dry. This is why you wear a coat."

Nick smiled. "Sometimes you don't have time to stop for proper gear." He reached for Charlie's hand, tugging him upstairs. As soon as the door was closed behind them, he turned to Charlie. "Can I—can I kiss you?"

God, yes. Charlie had been thinking of nothing else all the way over. Nothing else for days, if he was being honest. He couldn't even manage a yes, just a nod, but it was enough, because then Nick's arms were round him, Nick's mouth was on his, and the floor was opening up beneath him. He clung to Nick's jumper to hold himself up.

At last they broke apart. Nick said breathlessly, "I've been thinking about that all week."

Charlie smiled, his heart soaring. "You big dork."

The look in Nick's eyes was positively wicked. "Oh? Like you haven't been? Well, I suppose if you're not interested ..."

Nick pretended to pull away, and Charlie tightened his hold round him, keeping him there. This time Charlie kissed him, up on his tiptoes, one arm around Nick's neck.

And it was amazing. For the first time, they were kissing because both of them knew that they wanted to, and that the other one wanted to, and they weren't standing in the rain and they weren't going to be interrupted.

Well, Charlie had thought they weren't going to be interrupted. A scratch on the door proved him wrong.

Nick lifted his head reluctantly. "She's not going to go away, not whenher favourite person is in here."

"She sees you all the time."

As he opened the door for Nellie, Nick looked at Charlie. "I meant you. I think you've bewitched my dog." The look in his eyes said maybe the dog wasn't the only one under Charlie's spell. It took Charlie's breath away. No one had ever looked at him like that before.

Only Nellie's insistent little whine and the nudge of her nose against his leg kept him from grabbing Nick's jumper to kiss him again.

They both knelt to pet the dog, giving her all the attention she wanted. Charlie remembered another time they'd been petting Nellie together and their hands kept meeting, and he'd wondered. Only now their hands kept meeting and he didn't have to wonder. And he didn't have to be afraid of what Nick would think of him if he knew Charlie had a crush on him.

It was quite possibly the happiest he had ever been in his life.