Falling (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

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They went to Nick's house after school let out. Nellie went a little bit crazy when she saw Charlie, and he had to admit he felt the same. It was so nice just to be sitting on Nick's bed with Nellie in between them, thumping her tail happily while they both petted her.

"It's a little embarrassing how much your dog likes me."

Nick smiled. "She missed you." Then the smile faded and he caught hold of Charlie's hand. "I missed you, too. So much. Did I tell you that already?"

"A couple of times. But I don't mind hearing it again."

Nick leaned over and kissed him. Feeling crowded, Nellie hopped down and went out the partially open door. They lay back on the bed together with their arms round each other.

"I am going to lift the ban on the 's' word for one night only," Nick said. "So I can apologise to you for everything I did, and you can try to apologise to me and I can tell you why you have nothing to say sorry for."

Charlie laughed. "Okay."

"I am so sorry that you had to lie because of me."

"I'm sorry that all your friends turned out to be idiots." He did feel bad about that. Not because he thought it was his fault anymore, but because Nick had been hurt by that, and he deserved better.

"Me, too. I'm sorry I didn't push you to tell Tao earlier." Nick frowned. "Hm. I should apologise to him, too."

"I'm sorry I made you feel bad for not coming out."

"Nope. I should feel bad. I mean, I appreciate you not pushing me to do it before I'm ready, but—to make you keep us a secret and feel bad about yourself, and not to talk to you about it more ..." His arms tightened around Charlie and he pressed his face into Charlie's shoulder. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

"You don't have to say that," Charlie said softly.

"I know I don't. But it is the truth."

Charlie wasn't sure he'd ever been quite this happy. "I'm running out of things to say sorry for."

"I never thought I'd see the day," Nick teased him. "I'm sorry for getting into a fight with Harry." He frowned. "Actually, no, I'm not. I should be, but I'm really not."

"Can I tell you something?"

"Anything."

"The black eye made you look dashing."

"Oi." Nick blushed and frowned at him at the same time. "Dashing? You're ridiculous."

"And you're a dork. Walking off the pitch in the middle of the match, in front of both schools, like somebody from a rom-com."

"Couldn't help it. You wouldn't talk to me." Nick sat up suddenly, and Charlie mirrored him. "Seriously, that can't happen again, okay? You can talk to me about anything. Anything. Anytime, anywhere."

"I know."

"Do you?" He took Charlie's hand. "Really?"

"Really."

"Good."

"Nick."

"Yeah?"

"What are we doing on Sunday?"

Nick grinned. "I haven't had time to plan anything yet. You've been here the whole time."

"Oh, am I in the way? I could always—" Charlie made as if to get up and leave but Nick kept hold of his hand and pulled him back down on the bed.

"I have plenty of time tomorrow. Unless you're free?"

"Sorr—I mean, unfortunately, no. I promised Tao we'd do a real cinema night, just the four of us. You don't mind, do you?"

"No, of course not. It probably wouldn't be good for us to spend all our free time together."

"It sounds nice, though," Charlie said. He put his arms round Nick and they lay back again. "Are you done saying your sorrys now?"

Nick gave that some thought. "I suppose I am, although I feel like I have more to say."

"Nick. You can't apologise for being who you are—or for not being sure who that is."

"Look who's talking." Charlie shrugged uncomfortably, and Nick changed subjects quickly. "Will you promise me something?"

"What?"

"Even when you're angry at me, always text me good-night?"

Charlie smiled. "Okay."

Nick laid his head on Charlie's shoulder and closed his eyes with a happy sigh.

Charlie called his name once, and then again, softly, the word more a breath than a sound.

"What?"

"Say the name again."

"What name?"

"You know what name," Charlie said shyly. The one from the cinema, the cute one, the one he wanted to hear in private this time.

Nick lifted himself on one elbow so he could look down into Charlie's face. "You mean the one I said I was never calling you again."

"Yes, but you didn't mean that."

"Didn't I?"

"No."

Nick smiled. "Char," he said, softly and affectionately, and he followed it up with a kiss.

All too soon the alarm on Charlie's phone chimed. He reached for it to turn it off and text his parents he was on his way home. Their friends had been texting all along, teasing Nick about his grand gesture, making plans for group get-togethers. Charlie smiled, glad that they had friends who accepted them both for who they were, separately and together.

Saturday night Charlie, Isaac, and Elle gathered at Tao's for a movie night. He had lined up three indie films, all of them very serious and a little bit dark. They made it through the first one before Charlie and Elle mutinied and demanded something lighter and more entertaining. Tao didn't have anything like that, so they played Settlers of Cataan, which Elle won. Isaac would have won, but he got to a good part in his book and got distracted.

It was so nice to be with his friends again, to be okay with Tao, to have Tao be okay with Nick. It seemed like a pretty abrupt turnaround, until Tao explained that he and Nick had eaten lunch together earlier in the week and cleared the air. Charlie was so relieved.

It had been a long term, so filled with things going wrong—but so many things had gone right. And now here he was with his friends still, all of them in good places, and Nick texting him ABBA lyrics occasionally as he and his mum watched Mamma Mia again.

It had taken some doing, but finally Charlie thought he understood what it was like to be truly happy.