Falling (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Ready

This was it! Finally the Paris trip. Four whole days together. Not out, not the way Charlie had dreamed of it being, but still—together. Sharing a room, maybe sleeping in the same bed, spending all their time together.

Charlie could hardly wait.

Nick was already at the bus when Charlie arrived, his face lighting up when he saw him. "Hey."

"Hey."

"Can I help you with that?" Nick leaned down to grab Charlie's suitcase.

"Oh, thank you."

As Nick stowed the suitcase in the bottom of the bus, he asked, "So ... you sure about keeping it low-key?"

Charlie was not sure. But he didn't want to tell Nick that. He'd been under enough pressure recently; he didn't need more from his boyfriend. "Yeah. We probably shouldn't sit next to each other on the coach." Nick looked surprised by that, and unhappy, so Charlie added brightly, "It could be fun, being a secret again."

"Yeah." Nick smiled.

"But," Charlie added archly, wanting the forced smile to become a real one, "I bet you can't last two days without kissing me."

That got it. Not a full smile, but the flirty look, which was just as good. "Is that a challenge I hear?"

"Maybe."

On the bus, they exchanged looks—Charlie would have really liked to sit next to Nick and hold his hand the whole way—and then Charlie went to sit next to Isaac and Nick sat down next to Tao.

"What are you reading?" Charlie asked.

Isaac looked up from his book. "Les Miserables. Victor Hugo." He tilted his chin toward Nick. "Everything okay?"

"Just ... keeping it low-key."

"Huh." Isaac looked at Charlie, who had the feeling that Isaac understood all the things he wasn't saying, then went back to his book again.

Ben came by, following Imogen, who was talking rapidly. Ben didn't seem to be paying attention to her. He paused next to Charlie, almost like he was going to say something, but then kept going.

Charlie felt a cold chill. Would he never be done being reminded about Ben and what that had been like? Nick was nothing like that. Yes, he couldn't seem to come out to the world in general, but they had friends together, friends who knew about them. Their families knew. It wasn't the same thing. Not at all.

Once the bus was full, Mr. Ajayi tried to call for quiet, and Mr. Farouk actually got it. Charlie wondered if this was going to be the whole Paris trip, Mr. Ajayi trying to be nice and Mr. Farouk yelling.

"Is everyone ready to leave for Paris?" Mr. Ajayi asked.

The bus erupted in cheers and applause and they all started chanting "Paris". Apparently they were ready.

The two teachers exchanged a look, and they took their seats as the bus pulled away.

Charlie kept looking at Nick; Nick kept looking back at Charlie. Isaac read his book. It was a big thick one. Charlie wondered how many he had brought, and how many he would finish over the course of the four days.

They'd been on the road for a while when Isaac looked over his book and suddenly said, "Can I ask you, like, a really weird question?"

"Yeah."

"Before you and Nick got together, how did you know that ... you liked him in that way?"

That was a bit of a weird question, especially coming from Isaac. But he wouldn't have asked if he hadn't had a reason, so Charlie tried to think about what it had been that made him sure it was a crush. "Uh ..." Nick had been beautiful, and Charlie had liked looking at him, but it had been more than that. The way it felt when they were together. The way Charlie had wanted to kiss him all the time. "I just ... always wanted to be around him. But also, anytime he was there, I felt like I couldn't breathe. And I literally could not stop thinking about kissing him."

Isaac went back to his book without saying anything else.

Charlie wanted to ask, but Isaac had always been such a private person. He didn't want to pry. And now he kind of wanted to sit here and remember what it had been like to want to be with Nick, and think about how amazing it was that now he actually was with him. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

As they pulled into Paris, Mr. Ajayi turned round in his seat. "Okay, we're about half an hour away now, everyone."

They all cheered. Charlie opened his eyes—maybe he'd been asleep for some of the time—and looked at Nick, who was looking over his shoulder at him and smiling.

The bus made its way through the Paris traffic, and Charlie and Isaac pointed out the sights to each other and laughed. Even without Nick, this would still have been a great trip, Charlie thought, here with his friends.

They all filed off the bus. Charlie didn't even need to wade through the group to get his bag, because there was Nick, with both their suitcases. "Thanks."

"My pleasure." Nick grinned at him.

In the lobby, Mr. Ajayi and Mr. Farouk handed out key cards, giving their room number if anyone needed them.

"But hopefully, you won't," Mr. Farouk added, in the tone of a man who did not like to have his sleep disturbed.

Tao stopped Elle as she was on her way up the stairs to ask if she needed a hand with her suitcase, and she shut him down hard. Neither of them had talked to Charlie about their date, but it was pretty clear it had been a disaster, and all of Tao's fears about losing his best friend and messing up their friend group were coming true. Charlie hoped between them all they could at least get Tao and Elle talking again by the end of the trip.

He and Tao and Nick and Isaac found their room and dragged their things inside. Two beds, Charlie thought. One for Tao and Isaac, one for him and Nick. "Oh, nice," he said. "We have to share beds."

But before he could call one out, Isaac said, "Well, I want the window bed."

"I want the other bed," Tao added. "I hate being woken up by the sun."

Both of them flopped down on their chosen beds. Charlie and Nick exchanged glances. "I ... guess I'll share with Tao, and you can share with Isaac," Charlie said softly, wishing they had made their arrangements before they got into the room.

"Uh ... yeah." Nick headed for the bathroom as Charlie sat down on the bed next to Tao.

"I thought you'd find it awkward sharing with Nick," Tao said to him.

Awkward wasn't the word Charlie would have used. Maybe Tao would have found it awkward if the two of them had been sharing.

Then Tao added, "Just standing next to Elle makes me feel like I'm being electrocuted." He shivered.

Charlie smiled. He could have told Tao that you get used to that feeling, and even get to like it, but since Elle wasn't speaking to Tao, that didn't seem like useful advice.