Falling (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Angry

And then there was the rest of the week. Charlie was frustrated and resentful, Nick's texts felt increasingly strained and exhausted, between GCSEs at school and David at home. Charlie did his best to get work done, framing it to himself as the price of summer. Every page finished bought him an hour to spend with Nick later, or so he told himself.

By the following Monday, in the face of a stream of distressed texts from Nick about how terribly badly his maths GCSE had gone, Charlie felt he had denied himself long enough. He waited until his mum was on a call for work, and slipped out the door while she was distracted.

Nick's face lit up when he saw Charlie on his doorstep. "You snuck out again? You'll be in so much trouble with your mum!"

"I'm here to cheer you up after your terrible exam."

Grinning, Nick reached for him, hugging him tightly, pulling him into the house and lifting him off his feet. They hurried to Nick's room then, before his brother could see Charlie, and spent some time kissing and some time talking and then decided to watch a movie. Charlie wasn't too excited about the film, some Marvel thing or other, but the chance to simply lie here in Nick's arms was enough for him.

At some point, he must have fallen asleep, because he woke to Nick laughing at him as though he was adorable. "Did I fall asleep?" he asked.

"Are you tired, or is this movie just really boring?"

"I did warn you I'm not a fan of Marvel movies."

Nick chuckled. This was well established. As apparently was Charlie's habit of falling asleep in mid-movie. "Okay." He paused the film and closed his laptop. Then he got up. "Do you want something to eat? I could make us some dinner."

He really didn't. Just being with Nick was enough. "No, I'll have something when I get home." He would, too. After this afternoon, he could eat. "I'd love a cup of tea, though."

"You're such an old man." Nick laughed as he left the room.

"Hey!" Charlie lay on Nick's bed and snuggled Nellie.

When the door opened, he looked up, smiling. But it wasn't Nick. It was some really tall guy. David, Charlie imagined. He froze.

Nellie growled as David moved toward the bed. "Hi."

"Hi."

"What was your name, sorry?"

"I'm ... Charlie. And you're?"

"You're Charlie." David nodded as though that meant something to him. "Right. Um, I'm David. Sorry. So, I'm ... I'm Nick's older brother."

"Yeah."

"Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you."

"And where did you two meet?" David asked.

"We're in the same form at school." Much to his relief, Charlie saw Nick appearing behind David with the mugs of tea.

"David," Nick said.

"There he is." David jumped a little when Nick came up behind him, as though he wasn't supposed to be in here. "Um ... I was just getting acquainted with, um, with Charlie here."

"Yeah, well, uh, we're busy, so you can go away now." Nick set down the tea and looked at Charlie, saying softly, "You okay?"

"Yeah."

David flung his hands up in the air and started to leave, but he stopped in the doorway. "I just ... I just wanted to meet the guy that, you know, turned my little brother gay."

Charlie's eyes widened. He hadn't known David knew.

Nick turned round to face his brother. "What?"

"I mean, I should've always known you'd turn out to be gay, really."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Nick said, "I'm bi, actually. And so what?"

"'I'm bi, actually,'" David repeated mockingly. "So ... look, if you're going to be gay, at least admit you're gay."

"See, this is exactly why I didn't want to tell you!" Nick shouted, practically chasing David out of the room.

"Too late now!"

"Oh, this is ridiculous."

Charlie sat there on Nick's bed, in Nick's room, one of the safest places in his world, and wished he hadn't come over today. Nick had warned him, but he'd had no idea that a sibling could treat you like that.

Downstairs, the two of them shouted at each other. Actually, Nick shouted. David seemed to be in full control of his temper, almost like he was baiting Nick. Charlie had never heard his boyfriend this angry.

Then Sarah's voice joined in. Nick accused her of telling David about him and Charlie, and Sarah denied it. Then David explained that he had been snooping in Nick's room and had seen their pictures. Charlie looked up at the pictures, thinking of that day on the beach, just the two of them, the best day ever. He wished he was back there again.

But he couldn't hide in here forever. He should be where Nick was, backing Nick up, being supportive. That was what he had promised himself that he would do.

He joined Nick on the stairs. David was dragging their father into it. Charlie had never heard Nick mention his father. He'd wondered, in fact, if Nick's father had died, the way Tao's had, when he was young. Apparently not.

Sarah called David into the kitchen, and Charlie and Nick were left alone, listening to Nick's mother and brother argue.

"Should I go home?" Charlie asked, wishing he knew what to do, wishing he knew how to make this better for Nick. He hated to see his boyfriend so distressed.

"Yeah. Sorry."

"Don't be sorry."

Nick walked him to the door. "I'm sorry," he said again. "I'll text you later, okay?"

Charlie hated to leave him. They could still hear the argument from the kitchen. "Yeah. It's fine."

But it wasn't fine. And for the first time in a long while, there were no hugs or kisses good-bye. Just Nick saying "sorry" again and closing the door, and Charlie walking home alone.

Only that wasn't the end of it, because when he got home his mum was waiting for him. "Charlie? Where have you been?" He couldn't answer, but he didn't have to. "Nick's, I assume. I thought we'd agreed that you were going to spend some time apart until you'd finished your coursework."

Agreed? She had laid down the law without even the courtesy of asking him. But there was no arguing with her. "He was worried about his exams," he explained. "I just wanted—"

She cut him off like nothing he had to say mattered. "Yeah, I don't want to hear it. You're grounded for the rest of this term. And don't even think about sneaking out, or you won't be going on the Paris trip."

Charlie left the kitchen without another word.

His dad followed him. "Charlie. Do you want some dinner?"

Definitely not. "No. I ate at Nick's."

After a lifetime with his mum, he knew there was no point in being angry with her. She didn't care. So he was angry at himself, instead, for not being smarter about sneaking out. And for not standing up for Nick with David.