Trying to live

Chapter 29

I stared at Wyatt's retreating back and didn't think twice. "Wyatt!" I called out.

He didn't turn around but his body stiffened. He heard me and he still continued to walk away. Seriously, if it was anyone else I would have walked away but this was Wyatt, so I ran after him.

"You jerk, I called you," I said, my arm on my hip and catching my breath. Then I realized that we were actually close to the boys locker room as some lacrosse players stood in a group before it.

 Someone should hand me an award over for running so much. 

"I have practice," he answered back without even looking at me. 

I took a deep breath and told myself I was doing this for this sincere, honest and genuine guy, who stood with me when everyone else had left me and he was also the guy who made me run and sweat.

"I'll go to your family dinner," I announced.

"Em, please, I told you I'll see....,"Wyatt started and then he turned around. He stared at me. "You what?"

"I'll be your dinner date," I said again, a genuine smile on my lips after seeing his disbelief.

"You're not joking?"

I shook my head. "No, but you owe me."

Wyatt grinned. "You will get whatever you want."

I opened my mouth, when he threw his lacrosse bag down and hugged me. My hands automatically circled over his neck. He twirled me around, making me squeal. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," he said over and over again. "You're the best."

No, you're the best, I wanted to say but all the twirling made me dizzy.

Wyatt helped me. I owed him not the other way around. If he hadn't been there on the day of Henry and my break up - at this stupid end of summer party before junior year - I wouldn't know if I could have survived it so long. Without him, I would have been lost and wouldn't know what to do.

Of course, everyone thought we slept together and we might did. But I didn't remember that part. I just remembered a guy, I've only seen as a classmate, comforting me - a crying, miserable and broken wreck.

The next day, after the break - up, I made Wyatt promise me something and I was stunned how quickly he accepted it and didn't question me. His friendship with Scott, Cam and Henry broke. The girls of the Royals clique started to ignore him or made fun of him because he was one of the culprits who broke the most important rule of the Royals - the Kings aka Henry Avilla's girl was off limits.

I thought, Wyatt would break or cave and I wouldn't blame him. I already didn't care what would happen to me or what they said about me. I was always wasted and I couldn't believe that Wyatt never broke his promise to me.

He sacrificed his close friendships for me. He sacrificed his status for me, though he got it back because he's in the lacrosse team. Wyatt sacrificed so much for me, so a mere family dinner with his parents and his annoying step - sister wouldn't kill me.  

"Okay, okay," I laughed. "Put me down, I'm getting dizzy!"

Wyatt set me down. "Sorry. I got carried away."

He scratched his neck and his ears turned slightly red. "You're seriously not lying, right?"

My arms encircled his neck. His hands were still on my waist and warm. On days like that I wished I could kiss him because Wyatt was sweet, funny and just him. But I didn't have any feelings for him neither did he. 

A kiss should mean something right? There should be something and Wyatt and I were just people, who shared the same secret.

Deep in my heart I knew Wyatt was my close friend but I didn't acknowledge it because if he knew what I did, he would leave me too. 

"I could take my yes back, if you want that," I teased him, a smile gracing my lips.

"Never."

He pulled me closer and kissed me on my cheek, making me laugh. "This ....your yes meant a lot to me." 

 I closed my eyes and savored this moment.

 I hugged him tightly. "I'll do anything for you, Wyatt. I might whine and sulk a little bit, " I started and he laughed, "but you're my favorite partner in crime and that means we always stay together."

"We do?" He asked amused.

"Mhm," I answered. "I like your happy face."

I was stunned myself, when I pulled Wyatt's face closer and kissed him on his cheek. He looked at me, a soft smile on his lips. I entwined my hands from his neck and he let me go. 

Wyatt opened his mouth, when someone called him out. "Yo, Wyatt are you done or do we have to wait longer?"

Snickering laughter followed. Wyatt shook his head and smirked at me. "I have practice and am a little bit late."

He looked at his phone and showed me the time. I nodded and then we turned to someone clearing their throat. The whole lacrosse team was staring at us. Some snickered and talked about us in hushed tones, while Scott barely glanced at me. Jake on the other hand smirked and Cam had an unreadable expression on his face and left with the rest of the team.

The last one who was still standing was none other than Henry. He looked between Wyatt and me. My heart plummeted down for whatever reason. I always get this feeling when I was around Henry or when he saw me with someone else. The part that really disturbed me was that I ...I hated the fact that he had to see me with another guy whether it's Wyatt or Cam because the look on his face always made me feel guilty for like literally nothing.

I didn't know why I gave Henry so much importance when he didn't do the same for me. I blamed my heart for it. It was too soft and kind. That was why I had to protect my heart from everything but mostly love. 

I had just loved one guy and the moment I didn't love him anymore, I put the walls up and let the surround my heart. So, I was scared that little moments like these with Wyatt made my heart softer and let it melt the walls I so desperately put up.

I noticed his hands balling to fists and his whole body stiffening.

I looked at him a little bit longer than I intended to. Then I turned my head to Wyatt. "I have to go. Have fun at practice."

"I don't think practice will be fun," he murmured back, still staring at Henry.

Confusion swept over me but I didn't want to be here any longer, so I just squeezed his hand and walked away. 

I had the feeling that I made a huge mistake to be Wyatt's date at his family dinner. Not just that made me anxious but also the fact that Henry's stare was imprinted in my head. The way he looked at me and the way it made me feel. 

I realized that if I wanted my heart to be protected, I had to make a barrier between Henry, his friends and myself. 

Well, and then seconds later I realized I couldn't do that because Henry was literally my tutor and my partner for F.T.A. 

You know, there is this saying that people could rewrite or write their destiny and some do it and they live their best lives but in my case ....I think, fate was definitely writing its own chapters in my life and they weren't pleasant, at least for me.

And I was pretty sure that the moment I would do something, I would just make it worse.

So, I let fate play and later on I would regret it because I should've known better.