Trying to live

Chapter 36

I was walking quickly towards the Auditorium, a place that looked similar to an opera stage. I was late for my first F.T.A class because Scott had the bright idea to eat burgers. It wasn't the burger place that made us late but the conversations we had. Talking to Scott and hearing about his life felt amazing. It made me think that was what normal siblings would do. I didn't tell him the secrets that changed my life forever though. Even if I had thought to tell him for a millisecond I scratched the idea. I had my brother and that was enough for now.

Scott told me how much mom being in the hospital was affecting him and his struggles to cope with it. It was visible in his appearance. He looked exhausted. I also told him about Henry tutoring me - that jerk already told him - and being part of F.T.A because I needed the extra credit to graduate. Obviously, Scott took his best friend's side and said I should behave and be in my best behavior. Then he talked about Franny, his girlfriend. I wasn't really eager to listen to anything that involved her. I didn't like her anymore. Telling her to go for my brother was the dumbest idea I could have given her and now I regretted it because she just wasn't deserving of him and she created a rift between us. 

So, sorry not sorry when I felt joy as Scott told me he wasn't really happy in his relationship. I wanted to tell him he could never be happy longterm with that witch but I zoned out, when dessert arrived. 

Oh, and traffic hit us too. No wonder, I was late. 

Once I reached the school, I walked to the art building and I swear I was out of breath. I skidded to a halt when I saw Henry leaning against the wall next to the Auditorium. How the hell could he always look so good? What was it that God made him look like that? Even when he had bad days, he still looked handsome whereas I looked like a potato sack. 

I stared at him. I didn't understand him. How could this be the same guy that told my brother to reconcile with me but also the idiot who had it out for me and literally invented a rule that made everyone stop talking to me? 

Sometimes, he was kind, sweet and gentle. Most of the times, he was cold, distant, vicious and hard. All of the times, he was not the boy I knew but the boy in between it. I knew both sides of him and still I thought I didn't know him good enough. 

He looked up from his phone. "There you are."

Who was he talking to you? He couldn't mean me. I subtly looked around and there was no one in the hall except me. 

He meant me. 

"I told Rose, I'll see where you are. You're lucky, Mr. Laurent is late," he continued as if he didn't consider me his enemy number one. 

I slowly walked up to him. "You waited for me to go inside?"

Henry shrugged and put his phone in his pocket. "Well, we're the odd ones standing out because everyone inside there knows each other. We're the new addition and I thought it might be better to stick together."

He was right. The F.T.A members knew each other and spent a lot of time together. Henry and I were like outsiders, pushed in an unknown world. 

"I was with Scott," I said, ignoring his offer. 

Henry pushed off the wall and put his hands in his front pockets. "I know."

That was it. He didn't incline that he told Scott to make amends with me. He didn't say that he convince my brother to talk to me. To give me a chance. To help him understand me. To see that there was more going on than just what he wanted to see. 

Henry wanted us to have a good relation between us and it was so easy for him to convince others to trust me. 

But he couldn't do it for himself.