Newbie

31: Call Luca

"Skylar, are you wear Luca's jersey?"

I gave my mom a sheepish smile and nodded to answer her question. Mom, like all mothers, had the knowing look on her face but didn't say anything else. She knew who typically wore the boys jerseys, and she also knew that I was not a girlfriend.

"It's a homecoming tradition." I explained, hoping the would stop my mother from speculating too much.

"Well that's nice" she hummed.

I was thankful she decided not to question it anymore and just let it go. I was already weary about having to wear the jersey and I knew if I had to argue my case and defend my action I would end up talking myself out of it and I made a promise. I don't like breaking my promise.

"yeah, it is. Marlee and Luca have been so welcoming since... well, you know...and I just happy I'm getting to be included in MBPA's traditions. I feel like this school is slowly becoming my school." I said, smiling and slightly fiddling with the jersey. I couldn't believe that I was going to the best school in the state and I certainly couldn't believe that I was wearing a boys jersey.

"Well, I am certainly happy for you honey" my mom said, walking over and embracing me with a hug.

I knew she was not fond of me spending time with the Reid's, specifically Luca, but she knows I'm happy and as long as I my grades stay where they are, I know she won't say anything. 

"Thanks" I say, giving mom a small smile. 

Mom leaves the room, letting me continue to get ready before it's time to leave. I take a deep breath and inspect myself in the mirror. I've never considered myself ugly, every family member has always said I was a "pretty girl" but I've never been called beautiful, hot, gorgeous, or any other adjectives that would positively describe a girl, just simply pretty. I never really cared about my looks, I truly believe that my intelligence, kindness, and overall character will do more for me then any feature I could possibly have, however, I have never felt more insecure about my looks since I started at MBPA. Every girl there looks like they could be on the cover of a magazine, and some have, and I can not compete. As I look into my mirror, I feel like I am playing dress up. I'm wearing a boy's jersey, a popular rich boy's jersey at that and a preppy skirt that belongs to a crazy expensive school. My hair lays flat against my face, with some frizziness at the to that has been with me since I was a toddler, and my face has no makeup because I don't even know where to start. The more I stare, the more insecure I get. The padding of the shoulder me look un-proportional,  I don't remember the other girls looking like this, and the tail of the jersey bunches under my skirt making my stomach look bigger than it is. 

I contemplate texting Marlee, but it's super early and she will be pissed if I wake her up. Cleo would know nothing about how to style it and Bailey would say something like 'you will be beautiful no matter what' which is absolutely no help. So, that leaves me with the person who put me in this position. I know he will say something arrogant, but I would rather deal with him than an angry Marlee. She can be scary sometimes. 

Do I tuck the shirt in? I send because I need reassurance that I am doing this slightly right. 

Am I supposed to look sporty or preppy in this? A lot of girls who where the bf's jersey have their hair curled and makeup on. Am I supposed to do that? I send because I don't want to embarrass Luca. 

I stare at my phone, hoping three bubbles will pop up any second, but nothing. I debate whether I should spam him with my thoughts considering this is his doing (I know I said yes) and he has decided sleep his more important than my mental well being. 

It's a football jersey tho, doesn't make more sense to look sporty? I send. This is the rational choice and besides, I am not a preppy person, 

Luca, I'm doing this for you, help a girl out. I am now begging and I have never been more ashamed of myself. 

My shoulders look HUGE. This is his fault. The jersey his made for his muscular shoulders, not mine which contains no muscle what so ever. 

I send him a few more texts but I am still left dry. I decide to go ahead and do some makeup. I put my concealer in the necessary areas, a rosy color blush on my cheeks and nose, a slight gold eye shadow that gives my lid a little sparkle, mascara and my new lip oil that Bailey gave me. I decide that my makeup is more than usual but I still look like me so I am happy. I choose to not curl my hair and leave it in its natural state, mainly because I am horrible with a curling iron. I'm still at a lost when it comes to styling the jersey so I decide to grab breakfast and afterwords I'll text Marlee. 

I make my way downstairs where the smell of bacon instantly consumes me, and it seems all my troubles go away. Mom has already fixed me a plate and is frantically talking on the phone with what I assume work. I pull out my phone, hoping that a certain boy has responded, but the universe hates me. I start eating my breakfast, enjoying the show of my stressing out about what ever is going on. She often talks fast when she is stressed, and most can't keep up, but I have had years of practice so I can make out what she is saying with ease. 

"Ok, Ok. I'll be there in five minutes" mom says running out of the room.

I hear clattering coming from our living room as my mom rushes around trying to find whatever it is. After about a minute she comes running out, with her workbag tossed over her shoulder. Her hair is all disheveled, she has one shoe in her hand the other on her foot, and her crisp clothes are not twisted with wrinkles forming.  

"Hey sweetie, I know I was supposed to take you to school, but I have to get to work now." she says breathing hard has she struggles to get her shoe on. "My boss Mandy just called and I need to handle it"

"Oh, well I can get Dad then. I guess I will have to just face that he is going see me in this jersey" I said, already getting nervous about the argument that is sure to come. I've been trying to do everything in my room in order for dad to not see my outfit, but I guess he would have to find out and I would have to deal with his rant the entire car ride.

"No, Sky" she says shaking her head "His truck broke down last night and he is at the shop for the next few hours."

"Wait. How am I going to get to school? Mom, I can't wait for dad to get home. I have a test first period and there is a picture that Luca is depending me to be in. " 

"Call Cleo to pick you up. Her house isn't that far away" mom says, completely dismissing my concerns. 

"She doesn't do homecoming. She is sound asleep and avoiding MBPA all together." I whine, tears forming due to anger, anxious, or frustration, I'm not sure. 

"Call Luca then. He knows where we live since he brought you home that night. Besides, he got in this mess." she said casually, while texting someone on her phone. 

Calling Luca for a ride is something that I had already thought of but wanted to avoid. I know we are friends and I have his last name on my back right now, but I always feel like I make a fool of myself when it's just me and him. I blame it on my obvious attraction towards him and I have no desire to experience the tension is his car...again. The first two rides were fine, but after we slept in that bed together, my awkwardness completely swallows every piece of intelligence I have. At least thats how I feel. 

"Fine" I say, knowing that telling my mother my insecurities isn't going to fix the problem that I don't have a ride to school. I go back upstairs to my room, pick up my phone, and press Luca's contact. 

Long time, no write! (get it? Long time, no see?). It's been awhile since I explored the minds of Luca and Skylar, but I do adore them both. Im so so sorry the updates have been few and far between, but this summer has been CRAZY. I graduated high school in May (YAY), and preparing for college is a lot hard than I thought. With that being said, I being college this month (scary) so the updates, most likely, will not be increasing. I am sorry but this book is an outlet and something I do for fun, and if I force myself to write, I will begin to hate it, and I'm afraid you all will see that through my writing. I do my best on everything and you all deserve my best. I am so so so grateful that you all have kept reading Newbie and I hope you all will continue to love it. 

xoxo

tay_maddi