to live | 36

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trauma - chapter thirty six

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Loss wasn't new to [y/n].

He experienced it more than most, from the start of his life to the end of everyone else's. It seemed that god had forsaken him and the devil himself cursed his entire being. 

One would think [y/n] would have learned. The male is so seemingly quick to pick up on everything else, yet so repetitive in his mistake of caring for others. 

Everyone he cared for died. Everyone. 

But [y/n] couldn't help it. The sorrows forced him to be better, do better, so that he could act better in situations that called for it. His cries would remain unheard beyond his mind, his heart so easily printed on with just a few conversations. 

He yearned for love, for the warmth that was and would be stripped from him at any moment. Even when his mind didn't want to, his heart opened up and grew. 

He told himself he would not repeat his mistake again. He would not dare care for another. He willed himself to ignore the complicated emotions in his heart and find a way back home. 

But [y/n] is not an idiot. 

His heart found a home here. Here, a universe where chakra barely existed, where quirks were manifested, and where death was unusual. 

He could not help but care.

In this much more peaceful world, [y/n] thought that if he cared there would not be such dire consequences.

If he was transported here to live as they told him to, he could. It was possible.

He was out of his mind to push people away. They were not traumatized like he was. They did not experience the loss he did. They were innocent, and [y/n] had wrongfully hurt them. 

To live, [y/n] knew was possible with them. They would teach him what it meant to lose without remorse, to live without death. 

The line he placed was crossed without him realizing it long before anyone really, knew it. 

Todoroki didn't need to do anything. [y/n]'s mind and heart were filled with his classmates. They occupied every emotion of his being. His concern, his laughter, and his warmth. 

It was time to act like it too. 

°

[y/n] found himself at the mall with his classmates, the idea proposed by Hagakure as a way to celebrate the end of their exams. 

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