The Assistant (Matt Sturniolo)

40

He was patient with me, he would lean over me to show me something on the database when we did research. It didn't help when he stood behind me, his hand over mine on the mouse. I thought it lingered for longer than necessary, or that I felt a squeeze of his hand.

I was humbled during my first two days, he acted differently outside of the office. He carried himself a different way, but he was the same around people. It hurt me to drop the friend act, but I knew it was for the best and what I signed up for to work with him.

Sitting at my desk, it all seemed surreal. It would feel like these two days weren't a dream when Matt finished his meeting with Jason and we'd start our day. I may or may not have stayed up all night gushing with Holly about my day, and I don't regret it.

My impatience grew after an hour of waiting and not seeing him, even though yesterday he told me he had a meeting. I wanted him to hear a new song I heard on the radio, and the new recipe I was hoping to try on him.

It came rushing to the surface when I saw him coming back from a bathroom break. After how many of years of knowing him, and day of three, the sight of him gave me butterflies.

"Morning, Matt. How was your meeting? You look tired" I said, strolling into his office and stopping in front of the chairs in front of his desk.

"It was fine" he answered, looking through a stapled document.

"I heard a song you might like, it's called-" I started, walking to the couch where his jacket was.

"Don't get comfortable" he cut me off, clearing his throat. This can't be good. "You can work in your office today"

"Oh" I said, trying to hide the surprise in my voice. "For the whole day?"

Matt nodded his head, not saying anything. It didn't make things better when he kept his eyes on the document.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked, letting out a nervous laugh, trying to get him to look at me but he didn't. My stomach went into spirals, sending my heart with it. "I'm sorry I was five minutes late today, it won't happen again"

"It's okay, it happens. You didn't do anything, I just have some stuff to do and another meeting later"

"Can I help you?" I didn't finish the question because he was already shaking his head. "If it's not my fault, then why are you like this? God, Matt, look at me when I'm talking to you?"

"Just work on the witness statement and talking to them. See what they have to say and if that list we have is useful" he said, ignoring what I just said. "I'll text you what to do after that"

"Fine, but you should now mentors are supposed to communicate, and you're not doing a good job at it" I snapped, walking out of his office, wishing I could slam the door.

After going back to my office, and sitting down at my desk. I try to think of what I did wrong, but the last two days were great.

I don't know what I did wrong, and no matter how hard I try, I feel like I'm to blame. More than anything and I was confused. I feel like that emotion consumes me more than other, certainly not the sadness.

I don't know what went wrong. Somewhere deep down, I want it to be something I did, so I could fix it. I just want to find it already, because I can't do this all over again, not when we're so close.

~

With a happy sigh, I stood up and admired the finished checklist with Matt's handwriting, the most I've seen of him. Now that it's done, I can go see him. The first thing I did was look down his hallway, and I find his door closed. As of hours spent calling potential witnesses wasn't boring enough, it was harder without him across the room making faces at me, or just looking hot while talking on the phone.