BENEATH THE SURFACE

Chapter Thirty-One

ISABELLA

I stared at the woman in front of me, a whirlwind of emotions churning inside. I felt torn between freezing in disbelief and running as far away from this situation as possible. It seemed impossible that the words she was uttering could be true.

"What's her name?" I managed to ask, my voice barely above a whisper, struggling to contain the flood of emotions threatening to overwhelm me.

"Lily May," she replied, and it felt like someone had just driven a knife through my stomach, an overwhelming sense of unease drowning out every other emotion I was experiencing.

"You... didn't change it?" I mumbled, struggling to hold back the tears. Why hadn't she changed her name?

I remained silent and motionless, unsure of how to react to this situation. The woman continued to look at me with hopeful eyes, but all I felt was anger and confusion.

"I'm sorry," I suddenly said, my wide eyes shifting down to the pavement beneath us. "You have the wrong Isabella." The woman's expression showed disbelief, but I had no further concern for her.

Continuing to walk down the sidewalk, I heard heavy and rapid footsteps behind me, closing in quickly.

Spinning around, I couldn't hold back my frustration. "I don't know you, lady!" I shouted, only to be met with a hard chest. Asher's arms reached out to steady me, and in that moment, the tears began to fall uncontrollably.

Without a word, Asher pulled me close, and I allowed myself to lean into him, resting my forehead on his chest as I sobbed uncontrollably.

Why did I always end up back in his arms, seeking comfort from him? I wanted to let go of this connection. We hadn't spoken in a week, aside from inside the courtroom, and it needed to stay that way.

I shouldn't be letting him comfort me or be there for me. He has a habit of disappearing from my life and then reappearing, thinking a simple apology can fix everything.

How did I let myself develop such strong feelings for a man I'd known for only a few short weeks? Why did I allow myself to open up and give him the chance to break down the walls I had carefully built?

He suddenly pulled back, causing me to look up at him. "Who was that?" he asked, genuine worry and concern in his voice as he stared down at me.

"My daughter..." I began, my voice choked with emotion, "She adopted my daughter," I whispered, tears streaming down my face once again.

Asher ran his hand over my hair, gently pushing it out of my face. "What did she say to you?" he questioned, his voice now filled with anger.

I shook my head, unable to meet his gaze, and stared at the ground. "She wanted me to meet my daughter," I admitted, the pain in my voice unmistakable. The last time I had sounded this sad was when I finally stood up to my father.

A heavy silence hung between us, my tears refusing to stop no matter how many times I wiped them away.

"I shouldn't have given up on her," I whispered to myself, the memory of the day I gave birth to her and signed away my rights to a young, happy couple haunting me.

"You did what you thought was best," Asher said softly, his thumb gently caressing my tear-stained cheek. My eyes remained fixated on the ground.

I slowly shook my head, my voice trembling as I spoke. "I did all I could do. I didn't have any choice." I closed my eyes, attempting to erase the painful memory from my mind. "I wasn't a young mother struggling and asking for help," I continued, my voice growing angrier but still quiet. "I was a mother who was prepared to do whatever she had to to protect her baby girl, and that was taken from me." My tears flowed freely as I sobbed.

My knees suddenly felt weak, and I collapsed to the ground, the cold pavement pressing against my palms as I struggled to hold myself up. In an instant, Asher knelt in front of me, his eyes filled with concern as he focused solely on me.

"It wasn't fair, Asher," I leaned forward, seeking his comfort. "I know it wasn't," he whispered into my hair as he held me in his embrace. I didn't care how angry I was at him; he was the only person in my life who could understand what I felt.

I clutched onto the sleeves of his jacket as he gently raised me up from the ground, helping me regain my balance.

He supported me by my waist as he softly spoke, "Let me take you home." I nodded in agreement, my emotions overwhelming me, and I didn't care about anything except the painful memories that had come rushing back.

He assisted me into the car and closed the door softly. I instinctively moved closer to the window, drawing my knees up to my chest as my tears continued to flow unabated.

In the car, he remained silent, but his mere presence provided a sense of comfort. Although we hadn't exchanged a word or touched, there was an unspoken connection between us that offered solace.

As we sat in silence, the car remained motionless, my occasional sniffling serving as the only audible presence. I longed for another source of solace because, despite his ability to alleviate some of the pain, he also played a part in its existence.

I had a multitude of unanswered questions. Why would he vanish for days without a single message, only to return as if everything was normal? What had I done to cause him to lose interest in me?

Witnessing him and Kady sharing that intimate moment outside of the courtroom confirmed what I had been thinking.

He harbored a fear of commitment and hesitated to rely on another woman due to past experiences with her.

In the same manner that my father taught me to be cautious around men and maintain emotional barriers because of how he treated my mother, Kady influenced him to become involved with women and inflict the same pain on them as she had on him.

"Take me anywhere," I whispered with my head against the window. "I just don't want to go home." My voice carried a rasp from the tears I'd shed.

As the car started moving, I gazed up at the sky, now adorned with emerging stars, and silently prayed that my baby girl would never have to endure the same challenges that Asher and I had faced.