Hiraeth

25

"S..SITARA?" He fought back his tears, pushing himself to get up on his feet as soon as her faint figure began to gradually reveal itself more and more with each passing moment. Was she actually there or it was just a hallucination?

He put his palm against her delicate face, slowly running his rough fingers along her cheeks and felt her hesitate under his touch, completely pulling back while her eyes remained empty and downcast. He still couldn't take in the fact that she had actually come for him.

"I take back my complaint." She uttered in disbelief, turning to the police constables who stood behind the both of them to monitor their every effort. A hint of both; confusion and rage was smeared all over their expressions as they looked at Sitara.

"Madam, is this some sort of a joke?"

It was a joke. Her entire life and everything associated with it had been turned into a mere joke.

"I'm sorry but I don't wish to exceed this. We have sorted it privately." She swallowed the fit on humiliation thrown her way and could feel her throat hurt with the weight of it.

"You had already attached your medical reports and pictures in the FIR. Even the court has agreed to the fact that your husband used to physically abuse you. It is not in your hands anymore, ma'am."

"We're only obeying the law." The other constable added to his colleague's argument, making her look like a complete fool.

She threw her gaze back at Asad, appearing to seem apologetic and helpless at the same time. She could not help him the way she had intended to. The weight of his past actions costed him his dignity today, right when there was so much to his name. He was pulled down right when he was about to rise.

"I will talk to some lawyers. We'll see what can be done. Hmm?" She softly told him, trying to not look into his eyes anymore. They prevented her from continuing what she had been doing by not letting her ignore each and every cruelty she had once endured when they glimmered in utmost pride.

"Do anything. Withdraw your complain first." He muttered, letting out an incoherent breath of frustration.

"And let them believe that I'm a liar?" She asked, unable to put a calm facade over the sea of bitterness under which she was completely engulfed.

"They will do nothing to you, Sitara. It's me who will get affected."

She didn't feel that anger bubbling inside her anymore. One look towards him and her senses drowned in pity. She felt sorry for him. His droopy eyes and disheveled appearance envoked guilt in her.

"Why did we end up this way, Asad?" Her tone lowered and for the first time in the entire evening, he had seen an emotion of her face; contrary to the way she had been keeping herself reserved.

"I'm sorry, Sitara. I know I've fucked up but I don't want to stay as this person anymore."

"It's suffocating me." He winced. It was appalling for her to see a man like him, who had been nothing but a monster to her throughout their marriage bow down to in such a humiliating way. He never admitted his mistakes.

"What had I done, Asad? What had I done to deserve all that?" Her voice broke. She hated seeing him look at her in a way that only signified that his misery and relief remained in her hands; as if she had been the one to subject him to this cruelty.

"Nothing, it was all me. I'm so sorry." She shuddered at the sight of his tears. He repeatedly whispered out words of apology, grief stricken and hurt. Sitara could tell that he was in pain. 

"Do you remember the last time you were about to go jail?" She asked, finding it difficult for herself to breathe as she managed to pick words in order to frame her sentences which barely seemed possible. It was the first time she was talking to him about what actually was the reason for her to leave him.