Hiraeth

30

"SAY SOMETHING?" Disappointment reflected in her big brown eyes. She was immensely concerned, but also a little down with the sheer ignorance being displayed by him. He could sense the sadness in her voice.

He tried to gather himself. His senses went numb and he couldn't feel his body cooperating with him anymore. He struggled to keep his hands erect on the steering wheel as those words and memories flashed before his eyes again and again. 

"Rehaan?" Her tone grew softer this time. She seemed dead concerned now as she tried bringing her face near to his. 

"I'm fine, Sitara." He cut her off, sounding rushed and irritated but somehow that didn't make her budge. She focused on the sweat beads forming near the corner of his forehead and his shivering hands. 

"You're lying." She sighed, shaking her head. She had seen him like this once when he had overdosed on antidepressants. There were things that were bothering him and the problem persisted. 

A sense of darkness would surround his eyes but he tried to keep them open. His body temperature began to rise with every passing moment, making him aware of developing a fever. He felt tired and hazy, his wife's words began to make no sense to him any longer. 

He didn't realise when there was a truck coming in from the wrong side, blinding him with its headlights to a point where he completely lost his hold on the wheel. His heart beat very hard in his chest as he heard her screams as well before his car came to a crash. 

Sitara's airbags never opened. Her head banged right against the dashboard and all he could see was blood pooling there as she remained lifeless against her seat. 

He also had some injuries. His forehead had a grave cut and it was bleeding profusely, but he was alive. 

"S..Sitara?" His breath grew short of air as he tried to bring his trembling hand near her body. She wouldn't move the slightest, increasing his worries. 

He pulled her hand in his, trying to feel her pulse but as his fingers pressed onto her wrists; his throat felt dry and his lips trembled in both anguish and pain.

He had lost her. 

His eyes opened to darkness. The surroundings felt familiar and it didn't take him longer to realise that it was his bed. His chest heaved as he took in a sharp sigh. Even though he was badly sweating, he could feel chills rushing down his body at the thought of what he had just seen in his sleep. 

He moved his gaze to the side, where she slept and saw his left hand's fingers entwined with her right. They wandered around for a while, grazing against her skin that was still quite warm and then travelled below her thumb, feeling her beating pulse for a bit. 

His quickening heartbeat came to a sense of rest as he grew assured that it was one of his usual nightmares. 

He slowly withdrew his hand from hers, feeling the cold seeping in again. Everything felt so real and numbing. Before this, he had experienced a couple of them but they had Aira in them. The same instance from her death repeated in those dreams, over and over again. 

And now, he saw Sitara. 

He threw the blanket covering his frame to one side and got up, as the feeling of suffocation only grew. The antidepressants seemed to take a toll on him. He recalled taking them before bed as he felt somewhat disturbed after that drive. 

"Rehaan?" He had woken up Sitara. Her voice was groggy and merely a faint whisper, but the concern laced in it didn't fail to make him turn her way. 

"I can't sleep." He mumbled, helpless. He couldn't spin around more lies, hiding his vulnerability away from her when everything that he was, ceased to exist before her eyes.