the last straw

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I see you standing across the street,
hands in your jacket pockets,
with the red scarf that we'd started knitting together wrapped around your neck.
And you look happy.
You are smiling. Laughing.
With that box of Mad Over Donuts in your hand.
And it's not even funny, because I know exactly what's going to be inside it.

And then she walks up to you,
you turn your head to look at her
as your eyes glisten and face lights up on seeing her.
The way you look at her shows how much you love her.
But you look at her the way you used to look at me.
I see you lean into her, kissing her with so much love,
and I remember that's how you used to kiss me too.

And as I stand there, I want to walk away,
but I'm unable to.
And although it hurts,
I know that she's giving you everything that I could never give,
she's everything that I never was.
I was this chaotic mess that you wanted,
while she's the calming sunshine that you deserve.

And just as I am about to pull myself together and walk away,
I turn my head to get one last glimpse of your smiling face
and my eyes fall on the faded black rubber band on your wrist.
That was it.
That was the moment I broke down
as my face fell to the ground,
and I walked away with tears streaming down my face.

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