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Chapter Forty Two// Why Move?

Why are you here?" Nathan takes a small step further into the room.

"What are all the suitcases for?" I avoid his question by asking another, one I am in greater need of knowing than his. His eyes narrow.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Why are you asking?"

"Asking what?"

"Why I am here?"

"Why do you want to know why I have suitcases packed to a new school in a new state far away from here?" His voice rose dramatically to reach his height, which seems to grow over a foot more than before. Despite the truth that he has not moved an inch, it feels as if we are face to face, his breath fanning my lips with his rage.

"What happened between us?" my voices comes out barely a whisper, my head shaking with the emotion of why things have become this complicated.

"There never was an us," he replies flatly, scarcely moving his lips as he mumbles. A thick silence suffocates the air around us, making it harder to breathe, my throat choking up. The repetitive ticking of the clock strikes at each second, the only noise generated for the next minute. Deliberately avoiding my eye contact, Nathan glues his eyes on the corner of the room. Whatever is running through his mind at this very moment is a mystery I will never be able to uncover.

"So that's it? You're really leaving?"

His eyes flicker up and catch onto mine. For a second we stare at each other, a second where I could try and work out his emotions. But once that second is over, he migrates over to his bed and lies down, my head turning to watch his every move. "Yes," is his simple reply.

"Why? Why move?"

"Because," he continues, scrapping his hair back with the tug of his finger tips. "I've been offered a full scholarship for a collage out in Washington." The tone in his voice resembles no consideration towards how I am going to react. As my eyes expand, he averts his attention from me, plainly ignoring the fact I am here, and saunters over to his wardrobe and pulls out a hoodie.

"I don't know what to say," I spin around on my heels to face him again.

His hair is all matted at the front from the hoodie brushing over his head. He blinks before responding, a weary sigh mixing with his voice. "You don't have to say anything. My mind's made up."

It feels as if the very core of my heart had been shredded, my body incapable on functioning properly with the stone hard truth that I may never see Nathan again after this day. "When do you leave?"

"Saturday," he says expressionless, his face as blank as a colourless palette. With the wash of my skin draining pale, he doesn't reflect my dismay. "They want me to start straight away."

"Oh." As a result of the open window, a cool breeze circulates the air, sending my hairs on end. Nathan detects my shiver however keeps a passive expression on his face. We stare at the floor for a moment longer, trapped in an uncomfortable silence with none of us knowing what to say or do next.

I don't want Nathan to go!

God, I want to hug and kiss him- at least one more time. My quest to find the real Nathan had been complete. That was, until it all changed by the influence of Josh's dominant behaviour and threats that seemed to unroll to his advantage anyway. My heart is aching for so many uncontrollable reasons: not listening to my heart as much as I could have, letting the one person who made me the happiest I've ever been fade away, not being able to make things right. The list goes on...