Once a Gang leader Always a Gang leader

13

I stare at my stomach as Dr. Cain places the blue gel thingy on my stomach spreading it around. It feels weird and a little cold but I just lie completely still. I've been hiding. Not really. I just stay in my room and don't talk to any other gang member. When I need to send them on a job I send them a list of instructions. It's been taking a toll on me ever since Max and Marissa left. I thought I would've heard from them by now but, nothing. I don't have the will to get out of bed anymore. I'm scared that if I leave my room I'll lose something and the only thing I have left is this little child.

Before I knew it two weeks flew by and I got a call from Dr. Cain saying to come in so I can find out the gender of the baby. It took all my strength to get to the hospital. Every few seconds I wanted to turn back, to run away take my baby with me. Hide so we can be safe.

"It's a little bit of a stretch expecting to know the child's gender at exactly 16 weeks but, I'm hoping. You've already been through so much with this little one." Dr. Cain says as he places the stick thing on my stomach moving it around slightly and I immediately hear a heartbeat.

"That's-" I turn my head to the screen, tears welling up in my eyes. "That's my baby."

"Yes it is." Dr. Cain says with a smile and I look at him sniffling quietly, he turns back to the screen moving the stick around. "And the gender is-"

"Wait, no- don't tell me yet. Just- just let me take this in. I need a minute." I say quietly.

"Uhh- okay- I'll leave you alone with your baby for minute." He says a little shocked and I nod my head watching him leave. I stare at the closed white door behind him and turned my head back to the monitor. I soon feel tears slipping down my cheeks as I sniffle.

"I'm sorry... I love you so much but there's already so much pain and drama around you. I wanted you to have a better life, a full happy family. But I have nothing to give you anymore... Nothing." My voice breaks with the last word and I wipe my tears away feel a burning in my throat. When did I become such a fucking cry baby? I stare at the monitor, my eyes and cheeks becoming dry, until Dr. Cain walks back in.

"I've written the gender down and it's in this envelope. Open it when you're ready." He says handing me a small white sealed envelope. "I know you've been through a lot, Sweet heart. But always think of what can be and not of what was." I nod my head staring at the envelope, listening to Dr. Cain, I feel a hand rubbing my shoulder gently and I flinch a little.

"Sorry, it took me off guard." I mumble quietly as Dr. Cain pulls his hand back and cleans the gel off my stomach with a rag.

"I understand, just breathe sometimes. You can change your clothes and go back home. I'll see you for another checkup soon, okay?" He says as he sets the rag in a small bin walking out the door and I nod my head, watching him leave. I look down at my stomach and the envelope with a smile on my face. I can't give my child everything I wanted to but I'm going to give all I can, even if it's the clothes on my back.

~

"Excuse me, Aria, I know you didn't want anyone disturbing you but I think I found what you wanted. An old drug factory of Sam's it hasn't been used in a while, I was about to send some people but-" I look up from my desk with only the envelope on top of it to see Austin speaking. I had to bump up his status since Max left. He stops talking when I look up at him, should I go? I haven't been out except for Dr. Cain, I haven't done anything. But I can't risk my child's life anymore. But he said it hasn't been used, no one will just suddenly show up, right? I should go, get myself out of this pit of depression.

"Give me the information." I say and he walks over to me setting a file down.

"I can arrange for people to go with you, or I could even go with you. So it wouldn't be just you going out, it's low risk but we should still take precautions." He begins rambling a bit and I nod my head.