Once a Gang leader Always a Gang leader

15

Xander

"My baby's dead."

It's as if I'm caught in endless loop of her repeating those words. I've never been in this situation. We lost our baby. And no matter how many times I repeat those words in my head, I will never truly understand them. Why? Why? I have to put on a brave face for her.

"Aria, Beautiful, I'm right here for you. I know this is difficult, but I'm here for you and I will always be here for you." I speak softly as I raise her hand and begin stroking it gently. "I-"

"I lost my baby." She begins looking around the room with her eyes as they fill with tears.

"It wasn't your fault." I get up and sit on the bed, "Nothing can hurt our little baby anymore. And I will protect you in every way I can." I push hair out of her face as she looks a me with red eyes, filled with tears. "I love you."

"No, don't touch me. My baby's dead." She begins sobbing out, beginning to hyperventilate, and shoving me away. "My baby's dead. My baby's dead. My baby's dead," scrambling in her bed trying to grab the IV and rip it out of her arm.

"Aria, please calm down. I'm trying to help you-" I try to say in a soothing voice but I begin to panic as well, I try to grab her arms to stop her from hurting herself.

"NO don't touch me. My baby's dead, everything that touches my dies. Get away. GET AWAY. GET AWAY." She keeps screaming ripping the blankets off when Dr. Cain and a whole bunch of nurses rush in.

"What happened? What did you do?" Dr. Cain looks at me and I open my mouth to speak. "Never mind that. Aria, I need you to lay back down and breathe." Dr. Cain says blocking the door.

"My baby's dead," She sobs out trying to shove him away from the door. Dr. Cain looks at the nurses and they begin to try and put Aria back into bed. "No, get away. Get away from me. You'll all die. You'll die." She begin shoving them away, trying to fight them all. I try to step forward and help, but I'm stuck in place. I can only watch.

"Xander, get out." Dr. Cain yells at me as he joins in the fight to put her back into bed. I stand still. I see a nurse running in with a needle handing it to Dr. Cain as they force Aria on to the bed but she keeps kicking and screaming as the nurses try to strap her down.

"Wait- no," I manage to spit out, but they can't hear me over her screams. I feel someone begin to push me out as well, it's another nurse. "No- no I promised I'd be here."

"Get him out." Dr. Cain yells again and I'm being shoved harder towards the door. Dr. Cain grabs Aria's arm, she tries to pull it away but he keeps a firm grip and pushes in the needle, pushing the clear liquid in, and pulling the needle back out. More nurses surround me after Dr. Cain pulls the needle out and they all begin to pull me out of the room.

"I can't leave her." I mumble out pulling myself away from them, but I'm in my own state of absent-mindedness and easily overcome by them and shoved out the door. I raise my arms slowly to touch my hands to the door and keep it open. "Wait-"

"You'll die if you don't get away from me. My baby's dead. My baby's dead." Aria keeps crying out as her body begins giving out, and I see her trying to fight to stay awake. The nurses slam the door close in front of me and lock it, I get a glimpse of her giving in and letting the drug put her to sleep. The nurses walk away, one stays behind speaking to me but my mind has drifted again. Her mouth is moving but I can't hear the words come out, it's as if everything is in slow motion. Or a dream-- a nightmare. A nightmare where you try to run away but it's like you're running in water and everyone else is carrying on regularly. She walks away after finishing and I place my hand on Aria's door watching as she walks away and soon leaves me in an empty hall.

I slowly fall onto my knees, leaning against the door. I turn to lean my back against the door spread my legs out in front of me. I feel little bits of water drip down my chin and I touch my cheek. I'm crying. Have I been crying this entire time?