Once a Gang leader Always a Gang leader

17

Aria

Two months and 3 weeks since I've lost my child. I've seen Xander less and less now but that's my fault. I began avoiding him. I don't want to start anything with him again, I don't want to get hurt again, or ever. Everyday I fill with more rage for Sam. She took my life from me. My second chance at happiness was ripped away, just like before. I'm going to kill her. No more threats, just actions. No more show of making those talk, no more talking, I'm going to find her and make sure she feels everything. All the pain of a mother who had her child ripped away from her.

I lace up my boots and stand from my bed walking out of my room, down the hall and stairs. I'm the only one that lives and comes here now. Meetings with my gangs are in a different location, and I'm still searching for someone I believe is worthy of the status of being by my side. Austin has come close but not yet, he's not ready yet. Not for the new standard I'm setting this gang for. I walk into the living room and pull out the large case from behind the TV, setting it on the coffee table, and unlatching it. I grab my belt and strap it around my waist. Placing two guns in the holders, putting a knife in each of my boots, putting a few knives on the belt, and finally a few needles filled with liquid sedatives. I close the case and put it all away. I walk towards the front door turning my head slightly to look at the broken mirror.

I hated looking at myself. I hated the face that allowed for everything to be taken away. I broke it a few days after my miscarriage during a break down. Xander came the next morning finding me on the floor hair wet from the tears, dried blood on my fist with small shards of the mirror still in my hand, and then cleaned me up. I shake my head, and take a deep breath. No more vulnerability, no more crying. I leave my house, glancing up at the night sky and head to my car getting in. I spent the entire week searching for places were Sam could be hiding. I leave at night and search 'till the sun rises. People are most vulnerable at night, all lured into a false sense of safety. People either sleep or stay awake all night contemplating their fears. Those that fear the dark have reason because you can never see what comes, what can sneak through. Those who don't, are careless. Those who are aware, are psychotic or crazy in terms of a euphemism. Fascinating, isn't it?

Where would I be, if I was hiding from a person that I took everything from? Would I still think I had a chance at ruling their gang? Or would I be a coward and be in a different part of Earth? Have I abandoned all I've known or kept everyone close to aid me in this situation? I close my eyes to put myself in her state. I've checked all the warehouses, I've checked Xander's house, I've checked her house, I've checked stores, hotels, everywhere. I inhale sharply opening my eyes, in plain sight. I'd hide where no one would ever think to look while trying to clean my conscious. Sam isn't fit for this life, by the things Xander has told me and from what I can gather from others she's happy and energetic. Those who are happy even if it's a facade allow everything to impact them. They don't know how to deflect it. I begin driving.

I park close but far away enough to be hidden from a building named, 'Isabel Orphanage." This is the third one I've checked tonight. The chance that she'd be in one or come out of one at 11 pm is highly unlikely but I have nothing else to do, so why not? I spend one hour at each orphanage and during that time a search for information online. The staff, the size, their hours, all the information I can find. It's unlikely they would add a new staff member to the site automatically and if Sam is idiotic enough to actually have her photo online-- I don't even know what to think. That's the basics of being hidden and in this life. I look up from my phone for a second and sit up quickly when I see someone come out. I squint my eyes trying to get a better look, that's a stupid mistake on my part, should've brought binoculars or something. You know what I'm going the fuck out. I shove my phone in my pocket and am about to open the door when I remember I need to keep a level head. After taking a few deep breathes I walk out quietly and begin walking behind the female. She pulls out her keys from her pocket then stops and turns around.

"Found you." I smile and pull out the needle with a sedative, opening it and stabbing it in her neck, placing my hand over her mouth. Her eyes fill with fear as her body begins to go limp and I keep my hand over her mouth.