Seeing Things Differently

Pregnant Again? Say What!?

Ch. 17

Zoey's P.O.V.

It's been 3 months since the boys were born. 3 months since I've lost my daughter. 3 months since I've talked to anyone but my babies and Xavier.

My heart aches just thinking of my little girl. Dead. She never got the chance to live her life. She never got to grow up and lose her first tooth, ride a bike, get a boyfriend, find her mate, go to prom, graduate, go to highschool. My little Dylynn Jonna Moon. My angel.

A tear ran down my face as I thought of her. I looked down in my arms at her older brothers. I was holding and feeding Hunter Ryan and Austin Andrew. Our surprise baby, Bentley Carson, lay in his crib right next to me after already being fed. They all look so much a like. Only a few differences between the three. I imagine their sister would look similar to them.

They got my dark brown color hair with their fathers curls. Austin got my bright blue eyes while Hunter got his fathers forrest green ones. Now Bentley is a different story. His eyes are a shocking blue green color that appears to be almost translucent. When he stares into your eyes it's like he can read your emotions. It's like he knows exactly how you're feeling and instantly tries to make you feel better. Bentley's eyes are like a mix of both mine and Xaviers. They're unique. So are Hunter's and Austin's. Hunters eyes are so green and sometimes I find that even when I feel as if everythings going wrong, I look into Hunters eyes and their telling me everything will be fine, like he's seeing the future. Austin's blue electric looking eyes are the brightest I've ever seen. Brighter than mine even. I feel as if he can make others feel what himself or other people are feeling. Once when I was feeding the boys a sad feeling came over me and I somehow new it was how Hunter was feeling because he dropped his binky on the floor.

I know what you're thinking. I'm crazy, huh? Well I guess that's what losing a baby does to you.

I finished feeding and burping the boys, so I decided to get them dressed. Due to my lack of doing laundry lately the boys were out of clothes in the bureau. I walked to the closet to pull out the box of extra baby clothes. While earching for the clothes I came across a box. Thinking it was the boys clothes I opened it. I was wrong. It wasn't the boys clothes. It was Dylynn's clothes. I picked up a small pink dress and instantly fell to the floor as the tears started rolling down my face. My chest moved up and down quickly as I sobbed uncontrollably.

Arms wrapped around me pulling me up. Instantly I knew it was Xavier because of pleasurable tingles that raced through my body. He pulled me out of the boys room and into our bedroom where he held me tight. He murmured soothing words in my ear as gripped the pink dress that ay in my hand.

"It's okay baby, let it out", he whispered softly. And boy did I let it out. I cried for a full hour. My tears dried up eaving stains across my whoe face. I looked up to fing I'd stained Xaviers t-shirt too.

"I'm sorry", I said hoarsely.

"It's aright baby", he said," It's only a shirt. I can change it."

"Not about that. Well I am, but that's not the only reason. I'm sorry about our daughter. If I hadn't gotten sick she'd still be here!", I started sobbing again.

"Oh Zoey, when will you learn it's not your fault!", he said desperately,"You couldn't hve done anything about it! It was uncontrollable! I don't blame you at all! ....Just think. Our baby is in heaven with your parents. Sure, it's a litttle early, but at least she doesn't have to go through lifes hardships! Zoey, baby, I'm 100% sure that Dylynn wouldn't want you o feel like it's your fault because it's not! She'd want you to take care of her big brothers and raise them good. She'd want you to plan on having many more pups with me! She'd want you to live life and know that she loves you!...... Just like I do! And Hunter, Bentley, and Austin do! So stop feeling ike it's your fault baby! It's not!"