Chapter 8

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His lips were softer than I expected. The kiss wasn't rough or forceful, it was sweet. Jake had moved his guitar to the floor mid kiss so he could get closer to me. One of his hands was on my waist, slowly raising up and down my back, confirming the fact that I was wearing no bra. The other hand was gently placed on my cheek, brushing the hair away from my face. I had both of my hands around his neck, playing with his hair. It was the best thing I'd ever felt in my life.

Wait, what was I doing? Jake was dating Hannah, I really like Hannah. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I pulled away quickly, looking shocked, but not at Jake, at myself. "I'm so sorry." I whispered.

"Why? It's okay." We were still close together, I started to move away a bit, but he put his hand back on my cheek. I could feel my face getting hot, my eyes started to water. He rested the back of his hand on the same place on my face. He rubbed slow circles on my face as I tried to think of something to say. Picking up my head, our eyes met and Jake smiled at me.

"Jake.." I tried to shake his hand, but he kept it in place.

"Mmhmm?"

"You have a girlfriend." I said, this time not questioning anything. He moved his eye contact away for a second, thinking about something. His hands now rested on his legs. "Not just that, but a girlfriend I really like." He nodded, acknowledging that he had heard me, not that he wanted to admit it. Finally, he spoke.

"I know... I'm so stupid." He hit his palms to his face, pushing his fingers through his hair. "I love her, I do. When I'm around you though, it feels different."

"Different how..?"

"You told me to plan my trip across the country with her... I don't want that though. I want to do that with you." He said, almost avoiding the question.

"Jake," my voice was heavy and out of breath, "you know how much I love you, how much I love all of you. I just thought it would be better to focus on things with her."

"But I don't want to do that!" Jake almost yelled, his voice was short tempered. "Your telling me you don't feel how I feel? You don't feel anything here, you want me to stay with her?" I thought about it for a second, it looked like he might cry. I'd never seen Jake cry, except for the one time we saw a Beatles cover band at the town park and he thought it was really the Beatles. I should tell him I have feelings for him, anything else would be cruel.

"Jake... You're older than me, more experienced, you'll graduate and do things, I-" He cut me off before I could say anything else.

"God Maggie, we've been over this so many times. I told you I would wait for you, I want to wait for you."

"What if I go to college? What then? Will you follow me there too?" I started to get angry looking at how perfect and kind he was. "I can't take that pressure Jake! I'm not cut out for that!"

"Stop doing everything your parents say then Maggie! Do this for yourself, not your parents. You told me to ask you to come with me, I want you to come with me. Don't go to school, don't become a doctor, just do something for yourself for once." We were both standing up at this point, I was starting to get worried Josh would walk in any minute to tell us the food was ready. I couldn't help, but admit to myself that Jake was right. I did everything my parents told me. My watery eyes for before were now tears streaming down my face, I was losing my breath.

"I'm sorry I can't give you what you want. I want you to be happy, I want to be happy." My voice softened. "I really, really love you, I just don't know what that means yet. I'm scared that if this happens and it ends, I'll never get to see you again because you won't think of me in the same way." Without another word, Jake pulled me in for a hug. It was a real, strong, comforting hug. The type I'd been longing for. He pulled away for a second to give me a kiss on the forehead, when Josh walked in.

"Woah, what's happening in here?" He said seeing my arms wrapped around Jake's body.

"Nothing man, she's just missing Ronnie." Jake said, trying to pretend nothing had just happened. I looked up at him and smiled to him.

"Alright, well, uhh, sorry, food is ready." Josh said. He turned around quickly and ran back into the music filled house.

"Nothing huh?" I said smiling at Jake, sniffling a bit. I looked at his face again, "I'll do anything it takes to be with you." Leaning up, I placed my lips to his gently. I stood up a little bit so I wasn't hunched over, we were now the same height again.

"Come on, let's go eat." He whispered in my ear taking my hand. "I'd do anything to be with you too." He trailed off as we walked through the garage door together.

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