Meet On The Ledge || Greta Van Fleet

Chapter 24

    2017

    I turned my head to look at the group, but it was just too dark to make them out. "Americans?" Alex nodded at me. "Well, I can't drink this."

    "Why? It's just a drink." He sighed at my face, obviously not going to give in and drink it. "You don't need to tell me you won't drink it, tell them." He laughed at his joke, but I didn't take it as a joke. I figured if I got over there and it wasn't them I could just thank them, but if it was them I could yell at them or something. I got closer and closer, and my hopes dying. I noticed the shape of Sammy first, then Danny, then Josh, then Jake. They were looking at me as I walked to them, once I got there I didn't say anything. They were probably expecting me to be happy to see them, to smile and ask them how they've been, but they should know better than that. I slammed the drink on the table, quieting their table, but not the rest of the restaurant. "I can buy myself drinks. I don't need you." I turned on my heels, not letting anyone speak. I had this terrible taste in my mouth like I might be sick. I ran a little to the bar putting on my jacket and my cross body purse. I kissed Alex on the cheek and said "I'll be back in a couple days, merci d'être si bon avec moi." He nodded and smiled at me as I hit the door open, obviously mad. I was walking fast down the street, but slowed down because I realized I was running from no one.

    Once again, it was just me, my cigarettes, and Paris at night. I decided to walk along the Seine near the Notre Dame cathedral. It was beautiful at night, up against the sparkling river. It must have been late, but I didn't feel tired. I had some cocktails, smoked some cigs, but the air woke me up each time I got sleepy and I was thankful for it. I looked through my purse for my phone and my earbuds, I went to my Apple Music and started Time Out of Mind. The album started and I thought about what I had always promised them. I thought of the dreams I had shared with Jake. We wanted to travel, to be together, but I guess I should have known that would never happen. I missed the other boys. I knew that Josh had loved me, he probably still does, I couldn't hurt him anymore. God I'm such a selfish bitch. Not being able to hug Danny was getting to me and my talks with Sammy were hard to let go of. They never would have chose me.

    I heard a car honking its horn, I looked at what it was honking at, a black car drove slowly down the big street as if it was looking for a building number. I rolled my eyes at the person, you couldn't pull that shit in Paris or in any city for that matter. I quickly turned my neck to look at the car again and realized what it was. It was the car in the back of the bar, were they following me? Jesus Christ. I started to head back to my dorm apartment, so I wouldn't have to deal with it. Outside of the dorms was a restaurant with outdoor seating, students all sat outside drinking, eating, and having a good time. The car stopped as I pulled out my student ID card to scan into the building. "Stop!" I heard Sam's voice yell. The door opened and he came running towards me. "Maggie, don't do this. Don't shut me out." I looked at him, his eyes large and hopeful.

    "S- I'm sorry, I can't." I Iooked at the car, where all the boys were most likely looking at me. I pulled him closer to me so I could whisper to him. "I miss you, but I can't Sa-" I wasn't letting myself say their names, any of their names and Sammy noticed.

    "I'm asking you, please. I miss you. We all miss you, just talk to us, or talk to me." I looked at the car one more time, then back at Sammy. Then I pointed to the restaurant, "You and me, just us." I said. He nodded at me, surprised I had even said yes to him. We settled into our seats and I imagined what he was doing in the car, what he thought of me. Jesus Maggie, DON'T! "Do you want anything?"

    "Wine?" I nodded at him.

    "White or red?"

    "It's a red night."