Alec was kidnapped by a certain Warlock. He tries to find out the reasons behind his captivity and starts to feel strange things towards his kidnapper.
Could that be love? Or is it a protection mechanism of his body, is he just a victim of Stockhol...
„Seventeen!" Alec smiled relieved but when he saw Magnus's expression his smile faded. "Seventeen .. hundred?" Magnus stayed quiet and avoided Alec's eyes. "Seventeen thousand?!?!" „It was all in the past" Magnus said quickly, as if that would help..
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ Alec.
Alec had been home for about two weeks now and it had been the most miserable days of his life. He couldn't really put his finger on it but all he wanted to do was eithet sleep or just lay on his bed and stare at the celling. He didn't even want to go on missions anymore, he always found an excuse to avoid going and after a while his siblings had stopped asking.
He barley left his room, barley ate and he felt like he had forgotten how to smile.
He could see how his siblings suffered by his condition but he couldn't help it. He felt empty. Jace and Izzy were always arguing about what was best for him and Alec just sat next to them in silence, barely noticing that they were there.
Clary on the other hand had introduced him to a weird mundane friend of hers, called Simon. She said that Simon would make him laugh for sure. Simon was a weirdo and a creep. His former-self would probably had found him quite entertaining and would have made sarcastic jokes about him with Jace. His present-self, however just sat there, listening to the 'funny' stories Simon told him and waited until he would finally shut his mouth and leave.
Izzy had tried every day to talk to him, she had begged him to tell her what's going on. He had stayed silent and Izzy had started crying. Izzy never cried, that made Alec just feel worse. He hated himself for doing that to her.
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Alec walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He looked at himself in the mirror and stopped. He looked like a ghost. Pale and thin, his eyes were dull and blunt. His expression was apathetic. But he didn't feel that way. He felt something suddenly scream in his inside. Scream to get pulled out of this hole. But who could possibly pull him out?
He had avoided to look in the mirror for a while now, because he hated himself so much. He couldn't even remember for what anymore. The feeling had just settled inside him.
He had no idea why he managed to look at himself now. Maybe because what Izzy had asked last time she had tried to talk to him.
"Is it about Magnus?"
Magnus.
Of course, he hated himself because of Magnus. Because he had betrayed him. He had betrayed the only man he had ever loved. No, that was an illusion. When he thought about the warlock his cold insights started to warm up a little again. Still that damm illness.
He looked up into his pale face. This isn't you. It's time to save yourself. He had made a decision laying around and pitting himself wasn't going to fix anything.
Clary had given him a book about depression, he hadn't intended to read this stupid mundane crap but in a moment of weakness he had flipped through a few pages. It said that the illness can never get fully healed so you had to find a way to live with it. The first step was to accept it.
