YOU'LL ALWAYS COME BACK TO ME...

CHAPTER 43 - FAMILIAR BUT FORGOTTEN

James' POV...

Now I am lying in my bed. I felt like it is the first time I can say I am at peace.... my heart is at peace.

I wanted to know more about her. Her likes and dislikes, her favourites... damn!! I feel so ecstatic! I'm wondering what made me feel this way about her. There's something about her that connects me deep inside like I have seen her somewhere; like.... I have met her before.

Yeah! There was something in her this morning that I forgot to ask. I just hope she still has it tomorrow.

My phone rang. I reached for it.

"Hello... hey, man! Why?? I was out of the office the whole day. Y-yeah!! I was busy... hmmmm.... tomorrow? Okay, I'll let you know. No..... hah!! Do I seem weird?? Let us just say.... hmm.. that starting today I am a lucky man! No... I can't tell... then, you'll have to guess it by your own. It's a top secret... thanks but no, thanks!! Okay, okay... see you tomorrow... yeah! Blah! Blah!! Sure, man.. bye..."

It was my cousin. He was looking for me the whole day. I can't let anyone know for now what had happened this morning. He wanted to see me tomorrow and I can feel that he'll going to barge me with endless questions.

I suddenly smile... am I that obvious? Goddamn!!!  I'm acting like a teenager!

I placed back my phone on my side table and returned lying on my bed. I looked up at the ceiling of my room then I closed my eyes. I don't feel sleepy yet. It is just that I feel so relaxed and I wanted to enjoy every minute now just lying and not busying myself with the work load that I used to bring at home.

Everything is dark but calm. The only thing that is audible is the ticking of my alarm clock in my bedside table. Then she popped in from the dark in my head... the scene of  her funny and weird ways of dancing with the beat which became a fascination to me... then it changed into her way of giving me her dagger looks and her silly, silent cold treatments which really had made me uneasy and I bet will always make me... then now I can see her smiling, her sweet and angelic face that seemed to be the brightest star in my once lonely and cold night sky. She's perfect!!

Then I don't know what happened! The beautiful, smiling woman who has-- I guess-- captured my heart and soul suddenly turned into the sweet, smiling little girl that I had been dying to find all my life.

Hell James!! You need to forget her! You promised! You can't be at peace if you continue buckling with your past. You lost her! It was your fault. You cut everything from the beginning when you had all the possibilities to see her!

I know this sounds far beyond the usual me because I never care about the word unfair in a relationship but somehow I begin to understand how would that mean when it comes to her. Yeah, it will be unfair to Elizabeth if I try keeping a relationship with her while I am thinking of someone else every now and then. I know that is absolutely inappropriate but I don't know why everytime I see her face it brings me back to the old times... the old me... the old feeling... she resembles her.

But I am here now, stepping into a new life to lead, a new beginning to explore. The past should be a lesson to me and starting today what I have with Elizabeth should worth every while. I swear, I don't want to keep it secret but I am not sure if I let everyone knows about us, everything will be fine. I don't want to expose her to my world. Life is cruel and I want to keep her safe and protected. I wanted to do to her the things that I had neglected to do in my past. Things that I should have done to save us. But I couldn't even count to blame myself, I was very young back then. It there was a mistake, that was when I had let the differences take over us.

"I will do my best to keep you Elizabeth... that one, I promise!"

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Elizabeth's POV...