Fly High, Burn Bright

Chapter 31

Although the little meet-up with Dabi had left me exhausted, I barely managed to get any sleep, and was long awake before the alarm rang. Keigo, however, was still groggy, but I made sure to leave the bedroom before him and change into my work clothes in the bathroom, giving myself a few seconds to check on the bandage after washing myself up. The gauze was tinted with a faint red line, but as I unraveled it, it only got more and more bloody, but the pain was a lot less dull than last night. In a hurry to make sure Keigo didn't start suspecting anything, I wrapped the bloody bandage in a few sheets of paper towel and tossed in the trash before applying a new cast to my wrist, this one a little tighter but less thick than the one before.

I silently thanked my past self for designing a hero costume  that had a long sleeve - it got a little warm sometimes, but now, it conveniently hid the white gauze. Once I'd put on my work clothes and quickly tied my hair back into a ponytail, a few strands of the long black hair threatening to fall out, I went back to check on Keigo, who was sitting on the bed and pouting, as if he didn't want to wake up just yet. I beamed down at him and playfully ruffled his hair, which got him to lose some of the sleepiness as he reached up to do the same to me, and I had to push his hand away so that he wouldn't completely ruin the already-loose hairstyle. 

"Did you sleep well?" Keigo finally left the bed behind, grabbing a change of clothes for himself. "I meant to wait for you, but I must've fallen asleep again..."

"Yeah, I slept perfectly, don't worry," I replied, grinning up at him. No need to tell him that the nightmare came back again and left me with a little less than two hours of rest if it would just make Keigo even more stressed out. "I guess the fresh air helped."

Keigo smiled, satisfied, and gave me a kiss on the forehead before going to the washroom. I panicked for a second, anxious that he might find traces of my injury, but told myself to calm down - I'd made sure to clean it all up, so there couldn't be any possible chances of Keigo getting suspicious. Instead of worrying about it, I went to the kitchen and started a batch of coffee, making it a little stronger than usual. Running on limited sleep wasn't uncommon, but today, I'd probably need the extra kick of energy. By the time I was sipping my second cup of coffee, Keigo came in, too, pouring the rest into his own mug and adding a little bit of creamer and sugar to it. We drank in silence as he turned on the news, watching the fight from yesterday broadcast on the top channel.

I flinched slightly as a camera zoomed in on me, clearly showing the exact moment that I'd knocked Dabi out but had fallen to the ground, too, and the reporter said something about me being incompetent to the point that I couldn't even restrain an unconscious villain. The camera then cut to me attacking Dabi once again, knife flashing wildly even though only one of my arms was still capable of working, and I stiffened as it showed an up-close video of my ruthless expression. My grip on the cup tightened, and a twinge of pain rushed through my wrist, but I ignored it, chugging the remains of my coffee and quickly putting the cup in the sink, turning on the tap to wash it out.

The whole time, Keigo's attention never strayed from me, and his eyes were full of concern. His eyes shifted from me to the screen, never staying on either one for more than a few seconds as he watched my reaction.  He frowned slightly when I dunked my hands into the sink, noticing that unlike usually, I didn't take the time to push my sleeves up to keep them from getting wet. Keigo shook his head, trying to hold back a smile at my clumsiness as he put down his mug on the counter and hugged me from behind, rolling up the sleeve of first my left arm and then my right, resting his chin on my shoulder. I froze, my right hand still in the cup as the water cascaded over the now-exposed bandage, and Keigo stopped, too, his fingers resting over the half-folded black sleeve.

The shine that had been in his eyes earlier disappeared, and the noise of the news reporter faded into the background as Keigo turned the tap off and swirled me around, so that instead of holding me from behind, I had to face him. Keigo pushed the sleeve even farther up, his fingers resting gently on the gauze and tracing over its folds, pausing at the end of the fabric as he slowly pulled the cast apart. For the first time in months, I couldn't read his expression. The usual easygoing feel of Keigo was gone, replaced by a statue that only seemed to stray further from human with every passing second as the gauze finally ended, his fingers dropping it to the floor. He stared at the cut intently, his face stone-cold as he gently ran a finger beside the cut, tracing it's shape without actually touching it.

"What happened?" Keigo asked, finally looking up from my wrist, but I didn't meet his eyes. I knew I wouldn't be able to lie my way out of this one, but maybe I could try to play along with whatever he thought. When I still didn't answer after a few seconds, Keigo lifted my chin up so that I had face him. "Kira, how did this happen?"

I pulled my arm away from him and tried to not meet his eye even though he was staring at me with more intensity than a predator stalking its prey. "It's nothing." That wasn't a lie - the pain wasn't even that noticeable anymore, and even when it did sting, I welcomed the pain, along with the comfort it brought along. Keigo didn't seem to believe me, though, and he made me look up at him once again, his eyes never leaving mine. He didn't want to back down from the topic until he got an answer, and even though the news were still playing behind us, the voices only seemed like background noise. The cut wasn't even that big of a deal - it wasn't deep enough to cause any actual damage, and at most, only made me feel slightly uncomfortable, even though it burned with pain if I angled my wrist in a certain direction. Keigo was just overreacting about it.

Just as before, Keigo took my wrist into his hands, but this time, his grip was tighter, and I gave up on trying to pull myself out of it. "You got this last night, didn't you? You were fine when we got home, and the cut isn't fresh enough to be done this morning." Shit. Of course he paid enough attention to it to put that together. Keigo's brows furrowed as the deadly calm was replaced by a shocking worry as he shot a glance to the still-running news report which was now focusing on the casualties of yesterday's fight. "Kira, when you went to the roof, what were you thinking? Did- did you do this to yourself on purpose?"

 My own eyes widened. He thinks that the pressure finally made me snap. Maybe it's better that way - at least he's out of harm's way. I had to force myself to push the thought away. No. I can't let him think that I'm broken to the point where I'd resort to those tactics to make myself feel better. That's too cruel, even if it promises his safety for now. I took a shaky breath, putting on a mask as I tried to come up with a believable enough excuse on the spot. "No. I promise, I didn't do it to myself. I just..." I paused, sighing to make a more dramatic and believable effect. "I ran into some trouble on the roof, and I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry. You're stressed out enough as it is." There. Not a complete lie.

"Please, Kira. If you're hurt, please tell me. I can't stand seeing you in pain, and it's like you don't believe in me enough to share your own problems." Keigo looked so hurt that I hadn't wanted to bother him that I almost broke down just at the sight of his worried expression. 

In hopes of lifting his spirit, I smiled softly. "I swear I'll never hide anything from you again, okay? I'm sorry I made you worry."

Keigo nodded, a little relieved, and helped me wrap the wound up once again, taking me to the medical section of the agency as soon as we arrived so that a healer could take care of it - I didn't want to admit it, but I was a little sad that the pain wouldn't be there to keep me stable. The rest of the day, thankfully, passed by calmly, without any threatening notes from Dabi, and with just the usual petty crimes happening here and there. Although I was worried, it seemed that luck finally shone in my direction, and a week passed by smoothly, but I couldn't help but notice how Keigo was paying even more attention to me than usual, and would throw worried glances at his phone whenever notifications rang out, always hiding his screen from me as if there was something he didn't want me knowing.