Fly High, Burn Bright

Chapter 64

For several minutes, or maybe it was just a few very dragged out seconds, I stood frozen, not moving so much as a muscle. The previous joy I'd felt from talking about everything and nothing was gone, replaced by the same sense of dread that I'd felt when I ran to the roof and collapsed into tears. A hurricane of rage and sadness immediately shot through me, and I felt like I was going to drop to the ground again. Thankfully, Dabi was there to offer enough support for me to stay standing, but that didn't rid me of the horrid pain and uncontrollable shaking that overtook me. My body went numb at the sight of the building - the building that I once lived in with Keigo.

Keigo. How long had it been since I last saw him? Three weeks now? Or was it more already? I didn't remember. The three weeks had been both a blessing and a curse. They'd torn me away from him, but then again, that was his own fault. He was the one that ruined us, the one that didn't know how to be grateful for me rescuing him and instead chose to be a whiny asshole who was terrified of me, even though all I'd ever done was protect him. It was his fault that I'd snapped that night, his fault that he'd gotten captured and I had to torture the information out of the villain. It was all his fault, not mine. I'd done nothing wrong. All I did was be a loyal girlfriend and partner, and what I got in return was him calling me a monster. As if he was any better than me. As if he wasn't just as rotten. As if he wasn't a monster, too, for killing the happiness that he gave me. If I was a monster, then he was, too.

A firm grip over my hand forced me back into focus, and I realized only now just how bad I'd been shaking. I managed to calm myself down - it was in the past now. It wasn't like I could just go back in time and tell my younger safe not to waste my time on Keigo if he was just planning to leave me behind anyway. I was stuck here now, and it was Keigo's fault that my life was a mess that only seemed to get worse and worse. After all, I'd just committed arson with the League, and a part of me enjoyed it more than I wanted to admit. It couldn't get much worse than that, and if it did, then I'd only be even more disappointed. At least I had Dabi beside me now.

Dabi knew what it was like to be left behind. I still didn't know why he joined the League except for revenge, but maybe that's why I understood him so well. The same force drove us, and it forced us to get stronger. Maybe one day, we'd be able to fight off our wrong-doers, and we'd be able to pretend we were fine. Maybe then, we would stop stealing selfish kisses and half-caring touches from one another, and savor the moments instead. Oh, god. I'm thinking about a future with Dabi. I'm an idiot if I think that'll be possible. We're villain's, for fuck's sake. Villains don't have the luxury of happy endings. 

"You okay? Maybe we should go back now," Dabi offered, but I shook my head, trying to feign confidence to keep him from worrying even more.

"We're here anyway, might as well go in and grab my stuff, right?" I shrugged as casually as I could, and part of me hoped he would disagree and drag me back to the base. Then again, I really did need to get my belongings back. There were precious materials in the apartment, not to mention the notebook of information that I'd used to keep track of everything. It'd been a valuable asset when I was a hero, but now, I needed to get it back, or else Keigo would not only know where I was, but he'd have intel against the League, too, and I couldn't afford either of those to happen.

"Fair enough," Dabi nodded, though he still seemed a little unsure as I pulled him closer to the apartment building. "Do you still have your key?"

I froze in my tracks for a moment before glancing up at him with the same fake grandness as before. "Yes, Dabi, I still have the key to the apartment that I used to share with an asshole that despises me now and probably hated me for months before that." My voice was dripping with sarcasm, and although I'd meant it as a way to lighten the mood, the words weighed me down, and I was yet again reminded of the absence of the key's usual weight in my pocket. I didn't quite remember if I'd simply lost it or hurled it as far away from me in rage, but either way, I was almost glad it was gone. The key had been a firm reminder of my past life with Keigo.  Right. Keigo was scared of me now, even though I'd spent my entire life trying to protect him from the dangers of the world. What a fucking waste of time.

Thankfully, Dabi didn't need help with catching onto the mockery in my tone. "Breaking and entering it is. Lucky for you, I'm pretty good at that," he wiggled his eyebrows, and I let out a groan before elbowing his ribs, leaving him with a slight wince. I still felt a little angry about how he'd invaded the apartment for no reason other than to provoke me, but on the plus side, at least he knew how to get in unseen by others. That would be more than useful right now. I let him take the lead and followed behind him as he rounded a corner, for some reason walking away from the building and towards the alley that was littered in burn marks, the very same alley that I'd run down to look for him how long ago? Two weeks? Three?

I frowned as we approached the dead end that ran into the back of the building, the scorch marks sticking out like a sore thumb. "I didn't take you to be someone determined enough to climb several floors just to bother me," I said, scanning the wall of the building to find easy handholds that I could grab onto. There definitely were a few, but not enough to make the climb easy. Maybe we should've just slipped through the front door - I could've hidden us with my quirk. It would've been a little more risky, but definitely easier than climbing story after story just to reach my old apartment. 

"Who said anything about climbing?" Dabi scoffed, and I turned back to him, raising an eyebrow in question. "I don't have the patience to climb that high up." He chuckled, as if even the idea of scaling the side of a building was the most absurd thing he'd ever heard of. Then again, I'd needed to do that for a rescue mission once in my first year as a hero, and I couldn't blame Dabi for laughing it off. The experience definitely wasn't fun, and there was no way that I'd repeat it unless I absolutely had to. 

"Well then what are we supposed to do, genius?" I should've just stayed quiet instead of nitpicking over it - Dabi was good to me, and he didn't deserve my scorn. "It's not like we can just fly up there. How did you even get to the roof if you didn't go through the front or climbed up the walls?"

"Do you trust me?" The words were calm and even, Dabi's eyes shimmering with that electrifying blue light as he held out his hand to me. There was something so familiar about those bright eyes, almost as if I'd seen them hundreds of times before I'd even met Dabi, but I just couldn't seem to place it. Maybe I was imagining things. I was so distracted by his eyes and outstretched hand that I almost didn't register what he'd said.

"Huh? What kind of question is that?" I exclaimed, taking an impulsive step back as he came a little closer to me.

Dabi shrugged in response, hand still reaching for mine. "A pretty simple one, really. Do you trust me?

"I..." I stood in place for a mere second, though for me, it felt like an eternity as a thousand thoughts raced through my mind at once. He's a villain, I briefly registered one shout, tell him to get lost before you skewer him! I silenced that thought. I was a villain, too, and I wasn't planning on stabbing Dabi any time soon. Luckily, out of the plethora of voices ringing through my head, only that one needed to shut up - all the others were more than willing to comply with whatever Dabi wanted. After all, he'd protected me, he'd cared for me, hell, he'd even been prepared to fight Shigaraki for me, and I didn't know what I'd done to deserve it. The least I could give him in return was my trust. All hesitation gone, I placed my hand in his. "Yeah. Yeah, I do."