Fly High, Burn Bright

Chapter 47

Although the whole way here, I'd been confident in my decision, my hand shook so hard that I almost dropped the key. This was it. I'd go in, I'd talk it out with Keigo, he'd tell me it was all fine, and then I'd be happy again. I can do this. I forced myself to stay still, trying my best to keep the tremble of my hand to a minimum. Even so, it took me several deep breaths before I managed to calm myself down enough to actually walk up to the door without falling flat on my face. This shouldn't be so hard,  I scolded myself. This is my home. I'm just coming home. 

I steeled my nerves and lifted the key to the lock, freezing when I realized the door was already slightly open. My brow furrowed - sure, Keigo wasn't exactly as responsible with these things as me, but this was unusual for him. Was he waiting for someone to come? That wouldn't be completely out of character for him, but still, he wouldn't have just left the door opened like that. I frowned to myself as I took a silent step forward, a bad feeling settling in my chest as I heard voices ring out from the apartment. 

At first, I couldn't tell anything except for the fact that they were arguing about something, but as they got louder - maybe the fight was escalating, or maybe they just walked a little closer - I was able to distinguish the voices. One was definitely Keigo. There was no way I'd ever mistake it. I'd gone almost an entire week without seeing him, which was more than ever before. Even when we'd just met as children, and he wasn't allowed to leave the house, we'd still see each other at least once every three or four days. Hearing his voice after so long, even if he wasn't even talking to me, was comforting in ways that I could never even imagine. 

The second voice, however, I couldn't quite place. It had a much higher pitch, with that feminine tone to it. I automatically set up my guard, trying to remember any and all female friends that Keigo had, but only Akina came to mind, and yet, it couldn't be her. I would've recognized her voice. So now there's some girl that I've never even met in my apartment. That's just perfect. I strained my ears, trying my best to make out the words that were being exchanged, suddenly thankful for the opened door. It took a few seconds for me to adjust to the volume, but soon enough, I was able to catch on to the words.

"-aybe you should talk to Kira about this first," the female said nervously, and my mind immediately went into overdrive. Talk to me about what? Had I been right after all to suspect Keigo of keeping things from me, or was it just about that rumor of us no longer being partners? Then again, I was pretty certain I'd been long fired by now, so I guess the rumor came true. 

"As if I have the chance," Keigo scoffed in response, and I heard a faint shuffle come from inside. "It's been five days now, and she hasn't so much as sent me a message. It's not like her. She just... she changed. At this point, I don't even know if she'll come back." Oh. So that's how little faith he had in me. 'I changed', huh? Well, Keigo, maybe you're right. I could feel myself get angry at him again, but I tried to push it away. This is exactly why I came in the first place - to make things right.

"To be fair, you could've at least tried to contact her," the other voice pointed out, and I suddenly had a new-found respect for her. 

"Hey, don't push the blame onto me," Keigo replied, and I scowled to myself. Great to know just how much I mean to him. Then again, I didn't know the entire conversation, so maybe I shouldn't assume the worst just yet. "She was the one that lashed out at me on live television, for God's sake!"

It took all of my self restraint not to barge in and give him a piece of my mind, but thankfully, the girl started to speak again. "Look, I get that you're angry at Kira and all that, but you really should talk to her first, and maybe tell h-"

"Tell her what?" Keigo snapped, and I flinched away from the door before leaning a little closer, not wanting to miss a single word. "That I don't care about her enough to keep being her partner? I'm sure that will go over well. They took me to see the body of that villain later, you know? She mutilated them. She's batshit crazy. You think I'm some suicidal maniac that wants to die an early death?"

Oh. My heart shattered when I realized it wasn't just my mind playing tricks on me. Keigo was afraid of me. He saw what I'd done, and it was enough for him to finally realize I wasn't worthy of his love. I should've known it was coming. Good things like that don't last. I was more than lucky to have him to myself for so long, but it was over now. I'd need to let go of him. He didn't need me to protect him - he wasn't the same little boy that I'd met so long ago, and I wasn't the same eleven year old that would break down without her best friend.

Still, it hurt like a bitch. I spent every moment since I met him to make sure he was mine, to make sure that he was happy with me and that he wouldn't leave the same way that everyone else did, and yet, here he was. In our shared apartment. With a girl who wasn't me inside. Telling her how much he despised me for what I did. You should've known better than to cling on to him, that annoying voice at the back of my head nagged. It's your own fault that you drove him away. 

I had to catch myself from collapsing to the ground, instead taking a few rapid steps away from the door. My breathing was rapid and shallow, and my hands pushing against the wall were the only thing that kept me upright. The only part of my life that still had meaning to me was just torn right out of my grasp. All my life, I'd followed behind Keigo. I'd looked up to him, I'd done my best to impress him with my quirk, I followed him into the hero industry for the sole purpose of staying by his side, and yet, it was all ripped away from me in less than a blink of an eye. It wasn't fair. It was a cruel, horrible joke. 

I had nothing now. You have nowhere to go, I told myself. No one else would be crazy enough to take you. My mouth was dry, and my entire body started to shake violently, but I managed to stumble as quietly through the hall as possible, away from the door and the wretched apartment. Who cares if I have nowhere else to go? Anywhere is better than here. The heartbreak screamed at me until I felt like I was being torn apart. How long has he seen me that way? How long has it been since he first started seeing me as the monster that I was? Days? Weeks? Maybe even months now?

Tears streamed down my face in a never-ending flow. It wasn't fair. I did everything for him. Everything. And still, here he was calling me a crazy monster because of something that I did for him. It was all for him - it always was - and now, it didn't even matter. I wanted to get revenge. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to make him feel the same pain that I did, but I couldn't just do that to the very same person I'd spent the better part of my life protecting. Instead, I racked my mind for something, anything, that I could rely on, that would accept me, and when the realization came, I almost burst out laughing.

Still, it was my best chance. I ran through the halls of the apartment building and sped up the stairs, gasping for breath in between broken sobs and pathetic laughs, until I was standing alone on the roof of the apartment building. He wasn't here. Of course he wasn't. He only came when he needed me, or when he felt like torturing me with his power over my life. Funny how that turned out. All he had to control me was the threat of telling the public about our deal, and the promise to hurt Keigo, but by now, both of these were useless against me. 

And yet, here I was, searching so desperately for someone that I should hate. The energy drained out of me until I was nothing but a shriveling, confused mess, just waiting for someone to come and help me. But no one was there. I'd destroyed the relationship I had with Keigo, and no one else cared for me enough to offer comfort. When I collapsed on the rooftop, partially from grief and partially from exhaustion, no one was there to help me up.