Fly High, Burn Bright

Chapter 35

Thankfully, this time I managed to get back in the apartment without anything out of the ordinary happening, and when I slipped back into bed beside Keigo, now in a set of warm sweats, he was still snoring peacefully. For a few minutes, I watched him, smiling at how perfect he looked even in his sleep. The rhythmic beat of his heart as I pressed myself into his chest gave me a melody to fall asleep to, and before I knew it, I entered the peaceful paradise of sleep. Somehow, although my sleep was still short, and only lasted for two consecutive hours at most, this night was free from the usual horrors - maybe, it was because of how safe I felt with Keigo even though I knew that the apartment wasn't as villain-proof as I'd hoped, or maybe it was because my every-day terrors have become just as bad as the ones that came when the sun disappeared beneath the horizon.

I woke up even more exhausted than usual, but thanks to a kiss from Keigo followed by an unhealthy amount of caffeine, I was able to gather enough energy to drag myself to the agency building. Keigo walked by my side, flashing his wings out and covering me with them whenever a passer-by so much as raised their phone. I didn't know just how bad the media had gotten because I tried to stay away from it now, but from the whispers, I assumed it went from horrible to much worse. I was almost tempted to see just how much hate I was getting now, but I knew that if I opened those comments or watched any more of those videos, I'd probably end up snapping. Better to be ignorant than to become completely broken.

The entire way to the agency, I stared straight ahead. I'd tried to wave or be as open with the citizens as Keigo before, but it only ended up in them either running away or giving me dirty looks. It wasn't fair. I was just doing my job and trying to protect them, so why did they have to focus on the bad side? Why did they pay attention to the fact that I'd gone so hard on Dabi even when he was down, but not to the fact that if it weren't for me, even more of the city would've been destroyed? Why did Kagami, who had apparently barely managed to fight her own battle with a villain who had a quirk that let them control and manipulate their teeth, get more credit for the half-win than I did? Was I really just that uncharismatic, that no matter how well I did my job, there would still be some reason for the public to hate me?

By the time we pushed through the doors and the deafening roar of the crowds that only I seemed to hear disappeared, my head was once again swarming with doubts. I'd become a hero so that I could right the wrongs of villains, sure, but mostly so that I didn't need to leave Keigo's side and so that I could always protect him, but now, with seemingly the whole country being angry with me over how I did my job, I wondered if that had been the right choice. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the thoughts as my head pounded from the simultaneous high of caffeine and low of exhaustion. 

As we passed by some of our coworkers on our way to the offices, I raised a tired hand in greeting, faintly seeing Niko stare at me with concern, but I decided to ignore them. Keigo and I parted ways once we reached our floor, but not before he gave me a sweet kiss and a hug that seemed to recharge some of my drained battery. I dragged myself into my office, finding that I, once again, was assigned to patrols. My entire body ached, and my vision swam a little, but I put the daily plan to the side of my desk and checked once again that my blades and poisons were fully stocked, jotting down a quick note on a scrap paper to remind myself that I still needed to get new knives to replace the ones I'd lost before. 

Just as I left my desk to reach for the door, Niko pushed into my office without so much as a knock, crossing his arms over their chest and glaring me down as I raised a confused eyebrow. "Niko, I don't know what you're doing, but I need to get to my patrols."

"Like hell you do," he snapped, and I stared at him in surprise. Niko never snapped. They scolded, yes, or on occasion even shouted, but I've never seen him lose his cool like that. "You're not going anywhere today."

I sighed and reached for the paper I'd left on my desk, lifting it and showing the clear, bold letters that wrote Hiroko Kira - Patrol (8:00 - 18:00). "Niko, with all due respect, I can't exactly dodge this just because you told me to," I pointed out.

Niko almost growled as he ripped the sheet out of my hand, tearing it in half, and all I could do was stand there, shocked at their sudden outburst. "Too bad. You look dead on your feet. You're not going on any patrols until you pull yourself together and stop being a mess."

"Yeah, well, that might take a while," I retorted, pulling the two halves of the now-destroyed plan out of Niko's hands.

In return, he raised an eyebrow. "Do tell."

I rolled my eyes. "As if you don't already know. Niko, you're the head of media. I'm sure you're perfectly aware of just how loved I am."

"Oh. Right." For a few seconds, we both stood awkwardly, and Niko scratched the back of their head, looking away. "I'll, uh, try to take care of that somehow. It's a little hard to do, though. You built up quite a reputation for yourself, you know?"

"Don't remind me," I groaned, slumping down a little as I finally let myself complain. I didn't want to burden Keigo with it, but maybe Niko would be fine with listening to me for a little. "It's like they just don't have anything better to do other than point out everything I do wrong."

"It wouldn't hurt for you to be a little more merciful with the villains when you've got them down," Niko said, and I flinched slightly. Of course. I shouldn't have expected sympathy. "Anyway, I'll talk to the others about giving you office work today, instead. You're in no shape to be running around the streets and fighting villains."

"Niko, I'm perfectly fin-" They didn't even let me finish as he shoved me towards the office chair, and I reluctantly sat down. 

"Seriously, is Keigo blind or something? He shouldn't have let you come to work today. It's like he doesn't even care about your wellbeing," Niko grumbled as they stormed through the door, no doubt to either yell at Keigo or to get me something to work on. I considered chasing after them, but decided against it.

What Niko said put me on edge - it was, to some degree, true. Sure, I'd drank enough coffee to get me to the agency in one piece, but I was surprised that Keigo hadn't stopped me after my second cup, and hadn't noticed how drastically my energy decreased by the time we'd gotten from our apartment to the agency. Then again, Keigo had been unnaturally distracted for a few weeks now. He didn't seem to be paying as much attention to the small details as before, and although I brushed it off at first, I started to wonder about it now. It had been barely noticeable at first, but by now, I'd caught him staring his phone down like an eagle watching a particularly large squirrel, almost as if he was desperately waiting for someone to call him, and on more than one occasion, he'd gone on meetings with the agency even after the work day was over.

I really didn't want to be suspicious of him, since I myself didn't exactly have a clean slate, but I couldn't help but wonder what was taking up his thoughts. No. He'd tell me if something was wrong. I'm just overthinking this. I had enough faith in Keigo to not go crazy from just small signs like those. Besides, he still cared about me, shielded me from those damned cameras whenever he could, and I knew that he'd tell me anything he needed to without any hesitation, but since he hasn't said anything, then he surely still wanted me. I groaned, throwing my head back in annoyance before leaning back into the chair, and closed my eyes for a few short seconds, until a loud knock sounded on the door.

"Come in," I called out, immediately sitting up straight to hide the fact that I'd almost dozed off, and a rather short girl with long blonde hair pushed through the door, a few binders in hand that she left on my desk and bowed, quickly leaving. I sighed and flipped the first one open - Niko sure worked fast. It'd barely been five minutes since their outburst here, and I was already pardoned from patrols. I got to work on the papers, relieved that they were just old reports that I needed to review, and decided to finish them as fast as possible in hopes that maybe I'd be allowed to leave earlier. 

My eyelids grew heavier, and I had to take a break to grab myself more coffee, but managed to finish the last of the reports before it was even noon. After dropping the paperwork off at the archives and checking in with the other departments in case there was more work that needed to be done, I rushed to the nearest convenience store. There were a few things I needed.