Fly High, Burn Bright

Chapter 40

The usual nightmare was plagued with worse horrors than the one's I'd gotten accustomed to. If it had been blood and gore, then I could've handled it. Instead, it was one sick scenario after another that tore through my mind and clawed at my heart. Faceless beings all loomed over me, laughing in their broken voices that sounded like scratched records. I tried to hide away from them, raising my arms to cover my face from the glowing white eyes that shone from the unnatural darkness of their silhouettes, but it was like they could see right through me, and nothing I did could make them disappear. 

They pressed down on me from all sides, hissing and spitting half-formed words. "You're a weakling," they growled.

"No," I screamed back.

"A pathetic coward. A useless brainwashed little bitch who couldn't help her sister and now plays pretend," they snarled at me.

Their arms reached for me, their whispers never fading until all I could hear were my own shouts of denial as I pressed my hands over my ears in an attempt to block out their inhuman voices. Their bodies seemed to shift from one form to another, sometimes appearing as creatures from the darkest of legends, sometimes as a familiar man with crimson wings, sometimes as the broken girl that had been torn into bits with cursed markings carved into her limbs and her head loosely hanging on by the thinnest piece of flesh still holding it to her neck. I wanted to yell at them to leave me alone, I wanted to tell them that it wasn't my fault that I'd let them down, I wanted them to know that I was just trying my best to do what was right, but all that left me was one anguished scream after another.

They lunged forward all at once, each one taking on a different form until I was staring at every single person I'd ever hurt in my life, from my sister to Keigo to even the citizens I passed every day when I walked to the agency in the mornings. "You deserve this pain," they seethed. "You hurt us, so you deserve this."

Their words were like scalding hot burns that made my body erupt with pain until nothing else remained on my mind except for the need for it to stop, and just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, a comforting light shone from the darkness, getting closer and closer to me until it was right in front of me. A single hand reached out to me, the only human one among thousands of monsters. It pulled my hands off of my ears gently, its soft glow forcing the other faceless creatures to draw back as they hissed at it, and it tilted my chin up to it so that I had to look right at it. Its thumb wiped away the tears that I hadn't even noticed I spilled, and I slowly tried to leave the hunched over position I'd gotten into as I searched desperately for the savior that fought off those dreadful beings.

I heard the voice first. "Come with me, princess," it said, and I froze in my spot, no longer happy with who it was. "It'll all be fine if you join us."

I scrambled backwards as the rest of his body appeared, first the scarred arms draped in a black jacket, then his chest and torso covered in the usual white t-shirt, followed by his burned face and hair even darker than the shadows that had just left. "No," I wanted to yell at him, but it was like I lost all control of my voice. "It can't be you! You can't be the one that saves me from this curse!"

"And why not? You know you'll be better off here," I thought I heard him respond, but that couldn't be real. I hadn't said anything, so he surely couldn't have known what I was thinking, right? "Stop denying it," he smiled, leaning closer to me, and I tried to get further away, but my body refused to move. "You're a villain, through and through."

My eyes shot open and I jolted up, the damp towel almost flying off of my forehead as I fought to slow my breathing. Only once I'd managed to calm myself down slightly did I gingerly peel the towel off and put it into the bowl of now-lukewarm water that Keigo had left beside the bed. I blinked a few times to get the darkness and blinding light of my nightmare out of my mind, and sighed in relief when the room finally stopped flashing in black and white. Still, even without the sudden changes, my brain seemed to pound into my skull over and over again.

I dragged myself out of the bed, noticing that the shirt and pants I was wearing were both drenched in sweat - had my fever really been that bad, or was it the nightmare? My legs were a little shaky as I slowly made my way to the kitchen, keeping one hand on the wall of the hallway to support myself, but even with the wall to lean on, I almost fell several times during the short trip. By the time I got to the fridge and pulled open the freezer to grab a tray of ice, I was shaking to the point that my knees buckled and almost made me collapse to the ground. I managed to keep myself upright as I popped out an ice cube and pressed it to my forehead, the cold immediately working wonders on the murderous headache.

The ice cube melted away within a minute, and yet another one disappeared as I felt my body cool down a little. I stayed near the counter in the kitchen, trying my best not to sway on my feet as I felt my head clear a little. I tried not to think about the nightmare - I was no stranger to them, but this one disturbed me more than usual. Maybe it was because of the fact that Dabi had been the one who appeared in the light, and it was as if my mind was telling me that joining the League was the only thing that could save me now. I shuddered at the thought that maybe, at the back of my mind, I agreed with Dabi - that I'd actually be better off as a villain instead, but that just made my head swell with pain, so I forced it away. 

The minutes slipped by, and I felt some of my strength return to me, probably thanks to the fact that I'd slept for more than two hours for the first time in weeks. The clock read 4:36 as I sent the agency a quick text in apology for not coming in to work today, and I sighed in relief when I'd gotten a response that told me not to worry about it. I decided to get back to my notebook of intel, which I pored over, thinking about every single line and fact that I scribbled down until the sun set beneath the horizon and the sky turned crimson. I stifled a yawn, hiding the notebook back in its usual position, proud that I'd managed to add another two pages to the already long section filled with theories and statements, and went back to the kitchen to grab myself some food.

I frowned slightly - it was almost eight now, and work was already over, so why wasn't Keigo home? He would've at least sent a text if he'd been called to a meeting, so it couldn't be that, right? I decided to shrug it off for now. If I asked him where he was, I'd just look controlling and psychotic, and that wasn't what I needed. As I decided to make myself some stir-fry, I was more than relieved that I felt more or less like myself. My head still ached from time to time, but at least I didn't feel like I was getting murdered with every second. The savory smell of fried rice and vegetables filled the apartment, and I ate in silence before absentmindedly turning on a random show, keeping one eye on the clock and watching as the minutes ticked by one after the other.

It was past ten now, and Keigo still wasn't home. Strange, I thought. Even if he was at a meeting, he would've been let go by now. I furrowed my brows and turned the show off - it wasn't like I even knew what was happening in it, anyway. Maybe something happened during patrols? I decided to send Keigo a quick text, but ten more minutes passed without a response. I was getting really worried by now, so in an attempt to find out even the slightest bit of information, I texted Niko about it, too. Nothing. I sighed in annoyance, not wanting to resort to my final choice, but it was for Keigo's sake, so I had to. 

Although I didn't want to, I turned on the news - maybe they had something about Keigo. Sure enough, there it was. A reporter was hastily covering the most recent story about Keigo, but I couldn't pay attention to what they were saying. All I could see was the crimson feather that lay on the ground behind them, surrounded by drops of scarlet blood.