Fly High, Burn Bright

Chapter 32

My days and nights were filled with restless thoughts of what Dabi could be planning next - it had been around two weeks since he'd first baited me into meeting him on the roof, and he hasn't left any message since. If it weren't for the fact that I still had the hastily-written note tucked in between the pages of a book that I neither Keigo nor I had read in years, I would've thought that I imagined the entire encounter, but the painful truth that it was real bore down on me. It wasn't fair. Every waking moment was occupied with attempts of thinking up plans to escape from Dabi's grasp on me, but they all had their flaws, and in every single one, Keigo was the one who'd end up paying. 

Even my usual nightmares were interrupted, with the play-by-play scene of my sister's death being cut off mid-way with Keigo taking her place and being tortured to no end by the League, and all I could do was watch. Since he'd seen the cut on my wrist, Keigo had been cautious with me, as if I were an antique that would shatter from the slightest impact, and he shielded me from the media at any chance he could. The courage he'd had before with the sudden display of affection in front of crowds was gone, and I suspected it was because he was still worried that the media was influencing me too much. 

To be fair, he wasn't wrong. After the fight with Dabi aired on the news, I'd gotten even more hate from just about anyone. This time, it ranged from me being "an incompetent bitch playing pretend that couldn't even arrest a knocked out hero" to being a "ruthless monster that had no pity for even those who were already defeated", and although I stopped paying attention to the comments, knowing I'd only find more anger directed towards me, it still hurt me. I was just trying my best to help, but all I got in return was even more backlash. It seemed like everything I did somehow ended up being wrong, even if it looked perfectly fine to me.

It was like no matter what I did, somehow, the public found a way to turn it against me. A robber had broken into a store and taken several of its occupants hostage, and I'd used some of the poison that I'd restocked to paralyze them before knocking them out and turning them in to the police. Apparently, that had been too aggressive of me, and a hero shouldn't need to resort to tricks as dirty as poisons. A few days later, another hostage situation, quite similar to the previous, happened as I was doing the usual patrols, and this time, I'd done my best to not injure the criminal, only handcuffing them, but turns out by doing that, I wasn't taking the safety of the hostages seriously. After all, in a society where quirks existed, a measly pair of handcuffs could hardly restrain someone, right? I just never seemed to win.  

It was like the whole world was fighting against me, changing with every second until everything I thought I knew turned out to be false and the only constants that remained were the media's hate, the fear that Dabi brought, and Keigo's never-wavering love. If it weren't for him, I would've crashed long ago and spiraled down a path I didn't even want to think about, but having Keigo beside me, even if he seemed a little more distant than usual, was enough to hold me down. I truly did owe him everything, and not a day went by where I wasn't grateful to be by his side for so long. It was already unbelievable that I'd gotten to grow up alongside him, and the fact that he chose to stay by me even now that we were adults was something that I still didn't completely understand.

By now, however, I'd given up on trying to please the media, and evidently, even Niko admitted that it was hopeless to even try at this point. They'd stopped scheduling meetings with me to plan out ways to win the crowds over, instead focusing on promoting the other heroes of our agency. I was relieved - sure, Niko was great, but I wouldn't miss his never-ending lectures about how I needed to be more considerate of how hard the media department works. Even so, it felt like a punch to the nose, knowing that someone as passionate about their job as Niko had given up on me. Part of me ached to prove them wrong, to show that I could become the perfect hero loved and respected by all, but with every passing day, that fantasy slipped further and further away as I felt myself start to go insane with worry over Dabi and his stupid promise of seeing me again soon. 

Maybe that was why when Keigo and I returned home later that night and I'd spotted yet another sticky note with the same messy handwriting, I was almost relieved. Luckily, Keigo hadn't seen the note, thanks to the fact that I walked into the kitchen before him and immediately hid the paper in my fist, only reading the words when he'd excused himself to the bathroom. Just as before, Dabi asked me to meet him at two in the morning on the roof, followed by a casual reminder that if I chose to ignore the invitation, Keigo would be the one who'd have to answer for it. The rest of the evening, I was so tense and worried that the fact that Keigo kept checking his phone every thirty seconds or so barely even registered. 

However, when Keigo accidentally left his phone behind as he went to grab himself a drink, the curiosity of hearing the never-ending notifications got the better of me. Despite myself, I watched as his screen lit up with yet another notification, only checking to see who it was from - I didn't want to intrude, I just wanted to know who it was that Keigo kept returning to talk to. The message was from someone who's name I didn't recognize, and I waved it off. After all, it wasn't like Keigo wasn't allowed to talk to other people - I was just wondering who it was. Out of the corner of my eye, however, I couldn't help but read the most recent message that flashed briefly over the screen. "Have you told her yet?"

I furrowed my brow, a little confused, but decided to brush it off. It wasn't my business, and snooping around in Keigo's life wasn't fair to him, especially since I had my own secrets that I wasn't so keen on sharing. Before my curiosity could be further peaked, Keigo came back with two cups of tea, one of which he handed to me, and we stayed on the couch beside one another in comfortable silence as the minutes slipped by. At a little past midnight, I excused myself, saying that I wanted to get some sleep, and turned to the bedroom, checking that my reservoir of poisons and blades was stocked. I didn't want to go to meet a villain armed with just a kitchen knife again, especially considering how it was that very mistake that almost got me caught by Keigo. 

I set aside one of the small vials and pulled a dagger out from the hidden spot, wrapping both items in a flannel to hide them from sight. I placed the bundle, along with a change of clothes, onto a spare chair that stood near the corner of the room, trying to make it look natural. I managed to fall asleep for maybe half an hour, but woke up when I felt the bed dip slightly with Keigo's added weight. I stayed silent, though, not making any indication that I was awake, and watched once again as the minutes slowly crept by. As Keigo slept peacefully beside me, occasionally muttering half-coherent words or ruffling his feathers as he dreamt, I lay awake, waiting for when I could leave the apartment behind and continue my dance with the devil.

When Keigo rolled over in his sleep, giving me some extra space to move, I slowly got out of the bed, careful to not make any rash movements that could somehow wake him up. He'd been even more stressed in the past two weeks, and although he still kept the same cocky manner up when we were in public, the second we'd get home, Keigo seemed to deflate and almost collapse, so I didn't want to add yet another thing to his long list of worries. Something about it didn't feel quite right though, and as I changed into the clothes I'd set aside earlier, hiding the dagger and poison in the folds of my flannel, I wondered why Keigo was more anxious about the media than I was, even though he was loved by it and the public seemed to wish I was gone. 

I pushed the thoughts away, clearing my head and checking that I was prepared before leaving the apartment behind and quickly scaling the steps to get to the rooftop. As soon as I'd passed through the trapdoor, I spotted the now-familiar spiky black hair and jacket, and I waited for him to notice my presence. 

"Hello, princess," Dabi said without even turning to face me. "Long time no see."