As Cold As Ice // Charlie Gillespie

Chapter 35

"Mia?" I don't know for how long I've been sitting in my room, crying, when I hear Charlie's knock on my door. I bite my lip to suppress another sob from leaving my lips, pretending I've fallen asleep. "Please let me in?" His voice sounds so worried. I don't want him to worry about me. "The door's open" I whisper. For a moment nothing happens and I wonder if he didn't hear me or if he left by now but then my door slowly opens and Charlie pokes his head in. When he sees me his expression changes. The worry turns into pain. Within seconds he closes the door and comes walking over but then he stops right in front of my bed and looks at me.

It feels like he isn't sure whether or not I'd be ok if he touched me. I look up at him, my eyes begging him to do it. I think he understood because finally he sits down next to me and pulls me into his arms. "I'm so sorry Mia" he whispers against my hairline. His arms are wrapped around me tightly and somehow this makes me loose it completely and break out into another row of sobs. "I'm so stupid" I manage to say through my sobs. At that, Charlie pushes me away from him softly and lifts up my head so I have to look at him. "You are not stupid." His voice is so confident but it's not enough to make me believe that words he's saying. "I ruined my future because of how stupid I acted." I can see pain strike his face once again and for a moment he closes his eyes.

When he opens them again I think I can see a single tear shimmering in the corner of his eye. "You were hurt. Because I hurt you. I should have stayed awake that night. When your mum picked you up I went to your dad's car as fast as I could but... it took me too long to get back. You were already in the shower and then... I tried to stay awake, I did, but at some point I must have fallen asleep and when I woke up you were gone. If I would have stayed awake and talked to you non of this would have happened." I know I had the same thought in the hospital but hearing Charlie say it? Hearing how he blames himself for all of this? "It's not your fault." I wish I could take away the pain. I wish I could make him believe my words but just like me he is so set on it being his fault that my words don't ring through. "I'm so sorry" he says once again and I can't do anything but kiss him, hoping that, if my words don't ring through, this will.

***

"Honestly? It's her own fault she's hurt." I press myself against the locker to make sure no one sees me. I was about to empty my locker before practice is over but they must have finished earlier today. "What do you mean?" It's Jamie's voice. She's pretty new to the team. She transferred to our school about 1.5 months ago. I really like her and she does have a lot of potential. "Well, I'm usually not one to reveal secrets but what did she think going on the ice drunk?" I press my hand against my mouth to mute the sound of me taking in a sharp breath. Who does she think she is to say something like this?

"Who the hell is saying stuff like this?" My eyes widen. What's Charlie doing here? I peek around the locker I'm hiding behind. The door to the girls locker room is wide open. Charlie must have been on his way to practice. "This is the girls locker room! Get out!" Kaylie is squeaking but I know she's just trying to distract people. They are all dressed and the door was open so she can't blame him for saying something. He's standing in the door frame so technically he isn't doing anything wrong. "I said who says stuff like that." Charlie's voice is really calm, almost too calm.

I can see Kimberly squirm under Charlie's intense look. "I..." I don't think I've ever seen Kimberly speechless. "For the record" Charlie looks at every single one of the girls before he says "Mia wasn't drunk." Then he looks back at Kaylie. "She was upset because you lured me into a room to press your lips onto me. Next time you try to point out someone who made a mistake try looking into the mirror." Charlie is about to turn around when he sees me. He smiles at me shyly and I can't stop my lips from curving into the brightest smile. Kaylie follows his gaze and when she sees me she turns completely pale. Helplessly she looks from me to Charlie and back to me. I try to make my way to my locker as gracefully as I can with my crutches. When I open it and fumble for my stuff Charlie appears next to me and takes it. "Let's go" he whispers into my ear. When we pass Kaylie, who still seems to be frozen, he says "Kinda said if you're so scared of someone's talent you need to pull a stunt like that."

When we walk out of the locker room and I can't stop myself from throwing a look over my shoulder and see Kaylie looking completely lost. Everyone else seems incredibly confused to what just happened but slowly their faces turn into disgust and it's all directed towards Kaylie. For the smallest moment I feel bad for her but then I take a wrong step and feel the pain in my ankle. Immediately I'm reminded that there's no reason to feel bad for her. It's not Charlie's or my fault I'm hurt, it's hers. "Thank you" I whisper into Charlie's ear before we leave the rink.