Her heartbeat

❥ 1.

Beginning

"Madellaine hurry up, we're  gonna be late... again."

"Yeah, I'll be right there"

Yep that was my mom.

She is a little grumpy today, again...

I can't blame her, I mean who wants to drive to the hospital almost every day, no one right ?

Well, that's my everyday life. 

Today we have mine... actually I stopped counting a long time ago, anyway we have to go to the hospital again.

I have a heart disease. Cardiac insufficiency, I've had it since I was 12. 

It all started with shortness of breath and no particularly large appetite. 

But I didn't think anything of it in that time.

But one day, I got really dizzy and passed out. My heart was racing like crazy and my whole body started to shake. 
My parents brought me to the hospital immediately. 

When I woke up, my parents where sitting right next to my hospital bed.
I have never ever saw them so worried, especially my mother.
She started ask me out; how am I feeling, if I wanna drink something, do I recognize them, like really much questions.  

Then the door to my room opened and a doctor and a nurse came in. 

There the doctor told me I was sick.

He told me that it was a fatal disease and that we had to start treatment immediately.

My parents where frustrated. I mean rightly, imagine someone is saying that your child is maybe gonna die soon.

Especially my mom took it hard.

Since the day I got the diagnosis, she wouldn't let me do the tiniest things by myself, like cooking or cleaning, she wouldn't even let me lace my own shoes, crazy right ?

But thankfully she isn't that harsh on me anymore. Okay she is still is but, she let me lace my own shoes now.

Something positive right ?

Oh and she took me down from school, she said that the whole school stress won't be good for my health, and it also wouldn't work with my treatments.
Oh and one time she said that I would choke on my food. Okay I mean I know I'm sick but I'm not that sick that I can't eat normally.

And at this point the worst time in my life started.

I had to go to the hospital everyday. I had to do countless treatments; some of them were really painful.

Countless operations. 

I have so many scars on my chest from the number of times I've had surgery there.
Sadly also on other parts of my body.

I really hate them, so much. I feel so ugly with all these scars on my body.
I feel so ugly, that I won't even let anyone touch me, of course besides my parents and best friend.
But if anyone others try to touch me in any way, hell fucking no; there's no way I would let them.

Anyway today we are having another treatment.
My parents believe that I'm gonna be better soon, I hope that too but I'm just tired of all that.

"Madellaine Wilson, down NOW !!!"

Ugh here we go again...

"I'm coming".

Wish me luck

First book,
How was it ? Any ideas or wishes ?
Drop them in the comments.
See you lovelies !