Her heartbeat

❥ 17.

Overdone

I was sleeping, it was Tuesday morning and the sun was shining brightly into my room, still, that won't get me up. I have a day off, I don't have to go to the doctor, I don't meet Isabelle. It will be a relaxed morning.
However, this relaxed morning should end soon. The door of my room tore open and I heard loud foot pounding. Mom.

"Why are you still sleeping , get up immediately, brush your teeth, put your clothes on and come down have breakfast so we can drive."
Drive ? Where drive ? If she has hidden a doctor's appointment from me again and I have to take blood again, I'm really gonna freak out.
She came to my bed and tore the bed lacquer from my body. I rubbed my eyes and was so annoyed, that's like the worst way to wake someone up.

"Mom what are you talking about, I don't have to go anywhere today." I said in a tired voice. I reached for the blanket and grabbed it over my head and lay back down.

"Yes you do. Self-help group", fuck no.

"No, I'm not going there, I don't fit in there." I said when I was hiding under my blanket, hoping that I would be safer there from my mom.

"Sweetie it's only for your well-being." She sat down on my bed and stroked my leg, that was still hidden under the blanket. I appeared from the blanket and looked at her.

"Mom I am not at risk of suicide, I do not scratch myself either, I have no eating disorder and no depression okay ? I'm the fine. Actually, I'm great."

"Sweetheart that can-" she started but I interrupted her, "no, it can't develop, you wanna know why ? Because I'm fine ! I have this disease for 6 years now and I'm literally great."

She stopped talking for a second, and kept thinking and then started talking again.
"I'm sorry, but you'll go there anyway." I gave a big sigh from me and I fell back on my mattress. She will never listen to me.

"Come down when you're done", she tapped my leg two times and disappeared.
How should I even tell her that I recently left and the other times where she thought I was there, I was actually at Isabelle's.

———

I decided to tell my mom the truth as I ran down to the dining room. I mean she would find out sooner or later anyway and what else could she do ? Take away my printer so that I can no longer print out pictures ?
Before that, I should maybe tell her and my dad that I'm going to Myles fight. Or maybe I'll leave his name out of it. I already know that my dad will completely freak out and scream the whole house together.
My mom will not be very convinced. Going out, illness, boxing, a boy, do I actually have to say more ?

I arrived downstairs and I only saw my mother standing in the kitchen with a phone in her hand at the kitchen island.

Okay she looks chill, maybe she will be cool
with it.

Alright, here goes nothing...

"Mom, I wanted to tell you something and before you say no, listen to me first-", she was still with her back to me and slowly brought the phone away from her ear.

"So me and Izz got invited to a box fight from a guy. Okay actually he is the one who boxes, but Isabelle is there and nothing will happen to me. I'll just watch. He really wanted me to come to his fight." She was still swept to me with her back and said nothing. She didn't even interrupt me. That's really weird.
"Anyway, the fight is in 3 months but I wanted to ask you now because-" "you didn't visited the self-help group ?"

Fuck-ing-hell. Im dead.

She turned around with the phone in her hand. "You haven't been there once for all in weeks ?!" Her voice got louder.