The Monster's Stratagem (Lesbian Story)

35: To the Depths

Dawn had taken to locking herself in one of the many empty rooms within the castle. Syrena had offered to stay with her, but Dawn knew that she had duties to fulfil as acting Commander of Zyire. Besides, she felt as though she needed to be alone to allow herself to fall apart.

Before Syrena had left, she gave Dawn the satchel she had confiscated what felt like a lifetime ago. When asked why, the Commander merely shrugged and had said that perhaps it would prove to be a good distraction.

Sitting on the undressed bed, Dawn opened the bag that had once belonged to her but now felt as though she was holding an item of someone newly deceased. She pulled out the various items that she had been requested to find, along with her request list and the decorative hand mirror that had captured her attention. The golden exterior still looked as it had when she found it, although the crack down the centre was a disappointment. Perhaps she could find someone who would be able to replace the glass? She twisted the handle between her fingers like she would a knife, though catching sight of her reflection prompted her into setting the mirror down; she wasn't ready to face herself yet, and she doubted she ever would be.

Then she pulled out the final item, and it almost sent her into a frenzy. The ornate jewellery box weighed heavily in her hands, despite feeling as light as a feather to her now. This blasted thing had been the catalyst that had changed the course of her life, and she was holding it between her fingers.

How had she been so stupid as to believe such a blatant lie? Who would pay that much money for such a small thing? For someone's birthday, no less.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. The ringing in her ears and the thoughts in her head had become so loud that they were starting to sound like corporal voices.

"You're such a fool." They whispered to her, a scratchy sound that couldn't quite reach her ears. "How could you have been so stupid?"

"I'm not stupid." Dawn whispered in an attempt to defend herself, vision coming in and out of focus as she struggled to concentrate on the object in her hands.

"Yes you are, and it has cost you everything."

"That's not true."

"Look around, who do you have left?"

Dawn's breathing grew laboured as she glared down at the box, wanting to crush it with such desperation it almost surprised her. She could feel herself slipping away, all tethers connecting her to rational thought were being cut at a rapid pace. She had been foolish enough to take the request, and now look at her, look at what she had become.

Her blood boiled, eyes welled with tears, heartbeat quickened and mind frayed at the seams. With a scream, she launched the box at the opposite wall, enjoying the way it left a dent before dropping to the floor.

The release felt good, but it was nowhere near enough. She wanted ruination, and she wanted to be the cause. Was that not all she was fit for? Hadn't she destroyed everything already?

Succumbing to her hysteria, Dawn flew around the room in a blind rage. Furniture shattered beneath her fist; the wooden bedframe splintered and ricocheted around the room in fragments, the desk collapsed, the wall suffered gouges within the stone. Dawn didn't know what she was doing, she just knew that she needed her surroundings to represent how she felt within. She had paid with everything she had, and now she was no more.

A shrill laugh escaped her, the sound bouncing around her path of destruction. How much fun it was when the world bent beneath your touch! How much easier everything was! Dawn could hardly believe that it was her who was able to cause such demolition, and that feeling felt close to ecstasy. The sheer euphoria that swept through her almost brought her to her knees, and yet it was still not enough. There was still a nagging desire within her to do more, a void she needed to fill.

She wanted to hurt herself, she longed to hurt herself, but she couldn't. Syrena had made her promise, and while Dawn was never one to keep her word, she felt inclined to keep this one for the sake of the one person who had not turned on her.

Dragging her nails through her hair and to her scalp, Dawn cradled her head as she felt another fit of giggles escape. How hilarious this situation was! She would dare anyone to say that she was not strong now. Dawn would say to them, Behold! Look at the glory I am capable of now! Are you afraid? You should be, for I hold the world within my grip.

She screamed, tears and saliva falling to the floor as she was unable to hold onto a shred of deep thought. Absently, she wondered if this was temporary, if her madness would subside once she regained a sense of self? Though, through her delirium, it felt never ending. Perhaps there would always be a part of her that remained like this, that remained demented and susceptible to fits of insanity. She was Zyire's daughter, after all.

"Dawn?" A voice came from the other side of the door, the one item that remained intact within this cursed room. Dawn knew the voice; she had become incredibly familiar with it. "Can I come in?"

She didn't reply; she couldn't, lest she start screaming again.

"Open the door." Syrena spoke again, and she could hear the Monstra rest her hand on the barrier between them.

Regaining some sense of balance within her tumultuous mind, Dawn looked around at the mess she had created, at the mess she was in, and shook her head, unable to let Syrena see her like this. What if she was disgusted? What if she took one look at her and walked away? Then Dawn would truly have no one, and that was an unbearable thought.

So, Dawn kept the door firmly shut and listened as Syrena realised that she had not been granted access. Expecting the Monstra to walk away, she was perplexed when instead, Syrena sat against the opposite side of the door. Dawn took a step towards the entrance to her room of ruination, and another until she stood before it.

A few more tears escaped as Dawn fell to the floor, her legs having lost all strength within them. Pressing her forehead against the wooden barrier, the lost girl cried as her hand quickly followed. While she couldn't allow Syrena to see her, a strong force almost compelled her to open the door anyway, almost.

"I'm not moving from here until I have to." Syrena spoke, voice somewhat muffled by what separated them. "So, you're stuck with me."

"That's my line." She choked on the words, but got them out regardless.

"I know."

Dawn regained clarity the longer she listened to Syrena speak of her day, of the trainees who were still eagerly waiting for her running lessons, of the new items available within the markets. The Commander was not one to hold conversations, and that much was evident as she struggled to find things to say, but Dawn appreciated the sentiment nonetheless. She was distracting her in the only way she could think of, and that did not go unrecognised.

Once Syrena left again, Dawn rose from the floor and headed into the bathroom, searching for a specific object. As she suspected, there was a mirror hanging on the wall.

Golden eyes met her gaze; sharp and calculating but still holding an edge of hysteria. Her hair, now loose, looked very much like it had in her mind. In fact, the reflection she saw now was identical to the one she had seen; so much so that there was nothing left of her human self that she recognised. She was gone. She had been obliterated by the whim and will of another, and now she was suffering the consequences for it.

Gripping the edge of the sink, Dawn struggled to regain control of her breathing as she continued to stare at her reflection, body trembling with the threat of being consumed once more.

If she couldn't hurt herself, then she could hurt those who had wronged her. Wasn't that what she had promised herself? The destruction of her enemies? She had enough of them to be able to make a list, and now she had the power to make it happen; but who to start with?

Within her peripheral vision, she could see the broken ornate jewellery box glint and gleam in the moonlight and a wicked spark of revenge ignited within her mind. Yes, she could start with them. After all, had they not been one of the direct causes for her fate? Had they not almost killed Syrena? Had they not dealt her a significant amount of injustice?

Lips twisting upwards into a grin, Dawn smashed the mirror, watching the shards faithfully reflect her psychotic stare as they fell.