45: Ultimatum

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Rose allowed Dawn to stay in her room for the next couple of days, catching up on everything that had happened and everything they had kept from each other. While Dawn was working up the will to seek out Freya and how she would approach her, she eventually mustered the courage to tell Rose of her vivid dreams and hallucinations. While she was scared that her sister would laugh at her, to her delight, Rose remained serious and composed.

"Is it because of Zyire?" She had asked once Dawn finished explaining what she kept seeing and hearing. Although, she left out the part where she had seen Rose herself.

"I don't know, it feels as though it is more than just genetic." Bringing her knees close to her chest, she hid her head. "I want it to stop."

"Maybe there is medicine." Rose suggested, struggling to catch Dawn's gaze. "This kingdom seems to have everything."

Dawn wasn't hopeful. "Maybe."

"Does anyone else know?"

"No, not completely."

Rose knew who she meant. "Syrena."

"She might suspect." Dawn explained, thinking back to the tower top and how she had shared her fears of what she had seen within her mind; how foretelling that felt now. "I did leave a room in smithereens, which she saw."

"Why don't you tell her?"

Because I don't want her to be a distraction, because I don't want to feel anything other than what I need to, because I don't want to ruin her along with me. "It's not her problem to deal with."

It was clear that Rose disagreed, but she dropped the issue knowing that Dawn was not willing to speak further on the topic.

When Dawn eventually left for her own room, another note waited for her on her desk, although she could not summon the energy to read it until the next day. Once she had bathed, she reached for the note.

Dawn,
I would usually take your sudden disappearance as a sign that you are up to something no good, but I cannot help but be concerned that I was not informed. You would never miss the chance to drag me into one of your schemes.
Is something wrong? If so, please stop by my room so that you may share what troubles you. I am yours to use as a close confidant, or ally as you would say to tease me.
I will be waiting.
Expectantly,
Syrena

Beginning to feel horrifically guilty but knowing that this was necessary, Dawn sat at her desk and desperately tried to formulate some kind of reply; an excuse.

Syrena,
I'm sorry for not contacting you. In truth, I have not been myself the past few days, and I did not want you to see-

Dawn furiously scribbled out her words, tearing out the paper and scrunching it up before trying again.

Syrena,
Everything is fine, I went to see Rose.

With a groan of frustration, Dawn scraped the note and held her head in her hands. No matter how she looked at it, she could only see two options. Either she could lie and say that all was fine, or she could tell the truth and be more vulnerable than she was willing to be. Deciding to test this, she once again picked up her pen.

Syrena,
Truthfully, I am hiding.
I do not want you to see the mess I have become. Most days, I cannot tell whether I am dreaming or whether I am awake. I see things that should not be there, I hear voices that do not speak - most of all, I am plagued by my volatile mind, crushing rage, and relentless fear.
I had hoped that it was a momentary episode, or that I would be able to change my less kind traits so that I may be worthy of standing amongst you, so that I could be a person worthy of your generosity, concern, and care. This was not the case, and I am both mad and cruel. I fear I will always remain this way, and that is not someone you should associate yourself with. You are the respectable Commander of Zyire, even if you are arrogant and have your head shoved up your own ass. I am lost, and I get worse by the day.
Do not blame yourself for my withdrawal, it is my fault.
Please understand that I cannot allow you to be near me, you are much too good to have me as a burden. I fear of corrupting you, after all - imagine that!
I suppose you are not the only one who cares about the other.
Thank you for everything you have done, and for your endless patience.
I will forever be grateful to you.
Ever your malicious thief,
Dastardly enemy,
Scheming ally,
and devoted friend,
Dawn

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