Diamond Hearts (Volume I & II)

25. Reveries

Mahil :

Shrill ring of alarm broke my slumber. I didn't get up from bed wanting to sleep longer. Looking for my phone to turn off that good for nothing alarm seemed too much of a work, so I let it be. But when it didn't stop even after forth ring, searched for my phone on the bed, eyes closed.

Feeling hard, cold material of phone against the skin, I held its back, sliding my thumb over the screen blindly. When it didn't turn off after repeated attempts, I brought it over my head opening right eye to take a look at its screen but as I tried to slide my thumb over the cross icon, that fucking instrument fell straight on my face. Getting up I hissed, swiftly turned off the alarm and pulled my blanket over the head, again.

I couldn't catch a wink till four in the morning. It was only seven when this damn device started screaming its lungs out. Why did I set that alarm in the first place?

Whole night I kept thinking about Kuhoo and her words. I tried to sleep so many times, but my mind wouldn't budge. I literally counted hundred sheep in reverse manner but sleep still didn't come to me. After that I gave up and allowed my mind to freely roam in a huge ocean of useless thoughts which circled around Kuhoo.

It was true when the world said falling for someone took away your sleep. Was I falling for Kuhoo? Maybe yes. Why else would I be wondering at three a.m. if it would be different had the salt sprinkler not fallen on the floor? Or Whether I had uttered wrong words in front of her? What was I thinking when I blurted 'I haven't felt this way around anyone'? Was she okay after listening to that? Did Kuhoo wish to run away from me? Was I being too clingy?

I had never felt such a maddening need to stop my own chain of thoughts after those few months of losing my parents in that fire accident. But then I also hadn't felt so alive after them.

Thankfully I fell into deep slumber once again; I didn't want to appear sleepy in the evening.

Waking up at eleven, I slowly moved to brush my teeth. Taking out some toothpaste as I looked in the mirror holding that brush and I remembered how she had forced me to get dental treatment done. The terrifying memory of that machine moving inside my mouth was still afresh. But again wasn't that first time when she agreed to the fact that I was cute? Yes, clinic one was a first! Second time she called me cute was when we were practicing with Rahul and Riya in the living room.

I continued brushing, shaking my head. Did falling for someone actually felt like this? It probably did. And this was just the beginning. Was it healthy though? No, it certainly wasn't. Staying up for long at night? Unhealthy. Continuously thinking about someone forgetting your usual tasks? Unhealthy. Making up scenarios about the moments which had already passed? Unhealthy.

It wouldn't be in your control, Mahil. In fact, you'll start thinking that you're losing your mind. I felt the same when I fell in love with your father. She wouldn't be in your control either. You won't be able to mold her feelings the way you wish. But one day, clearing all the emotional chaos she'll come back to you, because that's where she is destined to be. Just wait for her to realize it.

"You were right, mom. I met her. Guess what, she reminds me of you. How I wish I could get her to meet you," Corners of my eyes filled with tears.

I blinked taking a deep breath trying to calm down.

Day went uneventful and evening came by. Putting my traditional clothes, I rang Kuhoo's doorbell exactly fifteen minutes before six. Rahul had warned me enough regarding her time bound nature and the way he had praised that bastard it arbitrarily pushed me to do better than Adi. If being on time impressed her, I didn't wish to stay behind that man in any way.