Forever The Name On My Lips

twelve.

twelve. these memories keep me awake

You were washing the blood off your face in the stream. You had gotten carried away again with your prey. But you had been so hungry, and the traveler had smelled so good. It had been months since you'd been changed, and there were parts of it you loved. Being stronger, faster, seeing and feeling the world with more intensity, you loved it. You thought you loved Niklaus before, but now, now you knew what true love felt like. Now you had the capability of feeling the weight of it.

But on the other hand, there were parts you struggled with. Your blood lust, your constant hunger. It affected you differently than the others, maybe because they had been changed by dark magic and you had been changed by blood. You knew you were different than them. Even though they were only a year older than you in their new lives, they were stronger, in more control. For the most part, you could control yourself, even in hunger. But sometimes, sometimes it got the better of you. Like it did tonight.

You were scrubbing the blood off your neck as you heard the footsteps approaching. You turned and saw Niklaus.

"I don't know what happened. It was like I couldn't stop," you said softly.

He gently reached up and wiped a bit of blood off your chin with him thumb. "You're young still, my love," he said. "You will control it in time."

"Young," you scoffed. "I was changed only a year after you, and you have control."

"You didn't see us in our early days," he reminded you. "When our parents kept us locked up in our home. We were far worse than you are now."

Your chest tightened at his admission. He very rarely spoke of those early days with you. You knew it was because it was hard on him, the events that transpired after their transformation. His true lineage was found, and both Esther and Mikael turned on him. He had only his siblings, and you. But he was different. In all the world, he was alone. You put your hand on his cheek, neither of you caring about the blood that remained there.

"I love you," you said softly. You knew there wasn't really anything you could say to comfort him. You knew how deep the cuts ran within him. But you wanted him to know you were there for him, that you always would be. Especially now that you were like him. You would live forever by his side.

"As I love you," he said, putting his hand over yours on his cheek. "Come, let me help you wash this off."

You sighed, pulling away. "Nik...what if I can't control it?"

"You will," he said surely.

"But what if I can't?" You asked, looking at the ground. "Everything is different now. You, me, your siblings. We are different. What if this is who I am now?"

He grabbed your chin and forced you to look into his eyes. "Then I will love you as you are now," he said fiercely and you knew he had heard your unspoken question. "You are the keeper of my heart, regardless of the years that pass, or how we change. There will never be a time when that will change."

"But what about Mikael?" You asked.

He tensed. "What about him?"

"He is always one step behind us," you reminded him. "He almost caught us last month, because of me, because of my...indiscretions. I couldn't live with myself if he killed you because of me. Niklaus, perhaps you should leave me here so he does not find you because of me."

"Never," he said firmly. "I will never leave you, Mikael be damned. I would walk through hell for you, Y/N. I would burn this world down in my wake to keep you by my side. You are my heart, and my only salvation." He leaned forward and pressed his lips against your forehead. "When we were made into this, I believed I had lost you. The pain was greater than any I could have imagined. I swear to you, Y/N, I will remain by your side through it all. I will love you with every fiber in my being. Always and forever."