Hope Is Mine (A Stalker Story)

Chapter 23

Fear.

An unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain or harm. I never like feeling afraid. It was just so odd to feel so heavily anticipated and troubled about something, let alone to someone; As if we can almost get a heart attack or worse.

I never really thought about questioning that emotion. After all, it's human nature to be afraid. I actually enjoys fearing something, because it makes me human, but I never come to think of having a fear makes a person vulnerable. So weak, that makes the strong people prey on those feeble ones; taking advantage of their weaknesses.

Isn't somehow unfair? Not because all of us vary from the things we're afraid of, but because mostly, fear only acts one-sided.  

However, I haven't actually thought of a situation where the tables have turned... until now. I never actually thought of making my own fear perceive the same feelings I've had; feel the same remorse, anticipation, discomfort and desolation.

Will it be bad to make our own fear undergo the sense of terror? If not so, then what could it be called? Will it just be a simple irony or is it justice? Whatever it is, I should be grateful of the current events that are happening.

With love and fear, I'll have the advantage of controlling him.

I fell onto the cold tiles, my body is searing in pain from the sudden impact. I let out a soft groan, while the bathroom door busts open from an unknown strong force. Winn emerged from the other side and hastily dashed towards me.

He cursed silently before crouching down and helping me to stand up. "What happened?" He asked, concern dripping from his voice.

"I slip, but it's nothing serious." I regain my balance and smile.

"Be careful next time." He said, his tone is somehow lacing with doubt.

"Yeah." I shortly replied as I walked back inside my room. I sat on my bed, leveling my knees on my chest as I rest the back of my head on the wall. Winn settle down at the end of the mattress, not breaking his deep stares at me.

"You're surprisingly healing fast." He beamed.

I nod. "This is because of the medicines you provide me." I sighed. "If it wasn't for those, I can see myself dead by now."

"Is that so?" He cut his gaze and stared at the floor. He must be pondering about something thoroughly.

"What does that supposed to me?" I quickly answered, snapping him of from his deep thinking.

"That day... why did you do that?"

I frown, concealing my dangerous thoughts circling my head. I must look weak and defeated... "Is that incident still bothering you? Shouldn't what matter now is the fact that I'm alive."

I've already considered that this will happened. So, to say the least, I'm actually prepared.

"The fact that you tried to kill yourself can never be forgotten. If I didn't catch you on time, then... then..." He stopped from saying the next word, as if it was toxic to him.

"I'll be dead." He locked his eyes back to me. "Is that what you want to say, Winn?" A misleading pitying look gloom on my face. He didn't say anything after that. "I already told you that I'm fine but if you really want to know what I was thinking back then, then I shall tell all of it to you."

I exhaled as I calm myself down and gather my thoughts to spit out the impending and well-planned lies I've been making up inside my head. All I have to do is to say it and act convincingly.