Chapter 9- Wish Away

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Chapter 9

Wish Away

Kaiser Donovan

Terror.

That's the only word that could explains the shiver that ran up my spine when I read the note.

I had blocked out the rest of the ride after that. I was having an inside panic attack but I didn't let it show. I listened to music to calm myself without raising alarms.

It was bad enough that he was stuck in my life, but now he was threatening August's too.

If anything happened to him, it would be on me.

And I wouldn't be able to live like that.

When I got out of the car, I walked as fast as I could. I all but ran to my room. I closed the door and slowly breathe in and out. When I was finally breathing normally, I sat down on my bed and closed my eyes.

I sighed heavily. I leaned back onto my headboard.

Why?, why me?, I thought, What have I done to the universe for it to do this to me?

Like usual, I didn't get an answer but that was okay. I was used to it.

My mother used to tell me that the universe wouldn't give us more than we could handle.

The universe must have mistaked me with someone with because I can't handle this. I can't.

And on top of it all, I was stuck on lockdown with someone that refuses to let me go.

I sighed again. Looking up at the stars above my bed, I wondered if the universe knows what its doing.

There was a knock on my door. It was probably my dad, he's made a habit of checking up on me every chance he gets. I don't blame him. I would too, if I was in his position.

I walked to the door and knocked on it, like I usually did. All he needed was confirmation that I was still alive.

But this time he knocked back. I rose my eyebrow and knocked again. He did the same.

Then it dawned on me, August was here too. It was him. It had to be.

Come On universe, I thought that we came to an understanding, I yelled in my head.

I opened the door a bit. Through the small slit, I looked out. I was right. It was August. He looked great, like he always did.

"Can I come in?" He said in a small voice.

I made no movements. I was frozen.

"Please"

I moved over, opening the door wider and allowing him in.

"Thank you" he said and walked over to the bed.

I closed the door behind him.

"Can I sit?"

I nodded. And he sat.

I walked over to my desk. I hovered around the chair for a while before actually sitting down.

August looked around the whole room. Silently taking everything in. I also noticed that he was looking at everything in the room, every single thing but me.

"It's been a long time since I've been in here"

I nodded. There wasn't much I could do. It was really an one person conversation.

"We've had so many good times in here. You, April and I. The best times" he sighed happily.

I smiled softly. We did have a lot of fun in here.

This was always our safe haven. It was years ago but I would give anything to have what I had back then.

Time seemed to drag on forever. The silence was painful.

"Kaiser, you are probably the best thing that had ever happened to me. I know that you'll probably never feel the same way about me but I will always feel this way. No matter what happens between us. You will always be one of the most important people in my life. And I will always love you. I know that you're not going to respond to me. Thats okay though. Because one day you will be ready and I'll be there. And now I'm going to leave before I say something else stupid".

With that he got up and ran out of the room.

I didn't move. I couldn't.

I wish that I hadn't let him. I wish that I'd just ignored him. I wish that I wasn't broken. But wishes weren't going to get me anymore. I had take what I want, not wait for it to come to me.

August Griffin was going to be the perfect boyfriend to someone. And I care too much about him for that person to be me.

Why? Why can't he move on? There are people out there that will be so much better for him. Stable people. Secure people. People that don't always look over there shoulder. Someone perfect because that's what he deserves. And that's not me.

I shifted my eyes, praying that when I opened them it would all be a dream. But it never was.

Wishes were all I had against the universe.

Me against the Universe. And I was losing badly.

I wanted to self destruct. No One knows how many times I've thought about killing myself. But my dad wouldn't make it without me. And now, I'm not so sure if August would either.

That made me feel good. That people would be hurt if I killed myself. But Some days I just don't care.

I love my family. But I'm either going to get better or I'm going to get worst. And it's up to me to make that choice.

Only I'm going to make myself better. And only I'm going to get worse.

I groaned. Man, life is beating my butt.

My phone buzzed. I searched for it. When I found it, I checked my message.

It was from August.

Did I really do that?

I smiled. He was so weird. And cute. And I was getting too attached to him.

I turned my phone off.

Don't get attached. Don't fall in love, well further in love. If you love something, let it go. And that was the plan.

Damn, the universe is winning again.

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