Verge of Insanity

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Beau

I woke up to Ella kissing me. I was in love. I knew it. I was prepared to do whatever I had to do to keep her safe. Even though I knew my mom wasn't thrilled that I had quit school right before graduation, I wanted to do all that I could to train and try to get my body to shift.

I rolled on top of Ella and kissed her on her forehead before sliding out of bed. Ella groaned, showing her irritation about me getting up. I would have liked to have stayed, but I had to meet Xander in thirty minutes.

My training was set to start today, and I couldn't tell Ella. I had told Xander to keep it a secret so that it could surprise her, but honestly I just didn't want to get her hopes up and me not be able to shift.

Leaving Ella, who had fallen back asleep, I ran downstairs and grabbed a banana to eat while I walked. It took me about fifteen minutes to get to where Xander was waiting.

"I like that you're on time," he greeted me, not grinning. The last time I was with him alone he was a lot happier looking. Something told me something was wrong. Perhaps he was just missing Mara.

"You missing Mara more than usual?" I asked. "You look pretty solemn."

"It's not just that, Your training got a lot more serious as of yesterday. I couldn't tell you 'cause Ella and Mara Leigh were around."

Crap...... "What's wrong?"

"Yesterday I was called by border patrol due to the scent of a rogue. I lied to Ella and Mara and said that I thought it was a kid messing around...."

"Garrett," I guessed, an anger already burning in the pit of my stomach.

Xander nodded once. "I hate that I don't know what he's planning."

"What do we do?"

Xander sat down on the ground in front of me, for once in the time I'd known him looking incredibly human and vulnerable. I walked forward and sat down in front of him, waiting.

"Since I met Ella," he began, slowly, "I have been doing my best to protect her from this bastard. She has been the sole focus for me. I have done so much to try to make her feel safe and keep him away. Ever since she came here she's been like a little light shining in our pack making everyone's day better. I don't want to see that light go out like it does when Garrett is threatening her. I don't want him to be able to even get into her mind."

"We won't," I determined. He wasn't getting to her with me around. I would do all I could.

"But," Xander continued," now I have Mara Leigh to protect. There's only one of me and two people I want to keep away from him. And even though I have a pack he has an army of rogues. If they were to surround our territory I really don't believe we could keep them out. It gives me anxiety to think about. If some of them got in, I would be fixated upon protecting my mate. For the first time, Ella would take the back burner on my mind as far as where Garrett is concerned."

I nodded. I could understand and respect that.

"That being said," he added, "this makes your ability to shift necessary. If you cannot shift then you cannot protect her as you need to. I am going to do everything that I can, but you have to pull this from deep within you. I can't make you shift. There's a very real chance you won't be able to. But you need to do everything within your power to make it happen. I'm not going to go easy on you, and I trust that you won't go easy on yourself with what's at stake."

I nodded again. I didn't know how to handle the thoughts in my head. Xander stood and I followed suit, ready to start. Before I could even get fully up, the world around me started spinning and I was on my face on the ground with my arm at a painful angle behind my back.

"First lesson," Xander said. "Expect everything."

He let me up and I stood up carefully, watching his every move. He didn't do anything.

"I know you're an athlete. How far can you run without stopping?" he asked.

"7 miles," I responded proudly.

"I want you doing 10 miles nonstop within two weeks."

My jaw dropped.

"We don't exactly have time to waste here. Get to work. We are going to meet twice a day, every day, until you are able to shift. Run at your own time. I know you want to spend time with Ella but this is more important."

"I agree."

Xander actually smiled. Almost instantly his fist was swinging out toward me, I ducked and he missed me.

"Good job," he grinned. Next I noticed his leg twitch and guessed that he was going to kick me, which he did, almost so fast I couldn't see it. But I definitely felt the pain from it.

"Really Beau?" he asked. "I saw that you saw the sign of what I was doing, why didn't you move? And why aren't you retaliating right now instead of being a wimp? Man up!"

Dang he could be in the special forces with his training....

I readied myself and swung at him, not answering his question. He of course dodged me, but I kept coming for him. Suddenly he grabbed my arms and held them in place, stopping me. I almost let my eyes widen in shock that he was strong enough to stop me. I knew I wasn't weak.

"You need to remember that until you shift and get the strength from your wolf, you have no real way to fight back. Your opponent will be stronger, faster, and better than you. Focus right now on guessing what I will do before I do it and deflecting it."

For the next hour or so we spent time like this, with me trying to shield myself from Xander's blows, and Xander taking the time in between his blows to tell me how to shift. It took a lot out of me to try to listen and watch all at the same time. I was almost ashamed of how bad I was doing. I had known Xander would kick my butt but I thought I could do better than this.

From what Xander was telling me I needed to get my body as pumped up as I could and think about all the reasons I needed to shift in order to kick start my transition. Apparently transitions could be started from need to shift, which I was definitely feeling right now. Every blow Xander started to throw at me I was reminded that there was a guy much stronger and faster than me trying to take Ella away from me and if I couldn't shift I would likely lose her. I couldn't understand how that wasn't enough of a need.

"We're done for today," Xander stopped. "I know you're tired, but if I was you I would go for a run right now and then again this afternoon."

I nodded, extremely fatigued but not giving up.

"I know you don't think so, but you did well today. Be proud of yourself."

I didn't think I could be until I picked up some more skills and could shift. But I appreciated everything Xander was doing to get me ready.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

While we had ate supper and were getting ready for bed Ella questioned what I had been doing all day. She could tell that I was tired and smell my adrenaline. I couldn't tell her the truth for many reasons.

She seemed to accept that I had been "working out" without an issue, but she was shocked that it had taken me all day. I knew she wanted to spend time with me, but I knew I needed to focus on training right now. I had almost made it to 8 miles with the running today, and was determined to almost make it to 9 tomorrow.

As I looked at the beautiful face of the woman I love sleeping, I knew that there was nothing that would stop me from pushing myself to my limits to become what I needed to become to give her the best and safest life possible. She was mine, and I would fight for her.