Kings and Queens

The One Where Noah Gets Grounded

NOAH'S POV

I woke up that morning and went straight to Father's vault and took about 40,000 shillings and took them to John's village. I skipped as my three guards carried the money behind me. I whistled a song to myself as the peasants cheered at my arrival.

I took a sack of 500 shillings and tossed it into the crowd. Then another, and another, and another. When we were down to ten bags left, I went to John's cottage and knocked on the door. After a short while, John answered the door, but he was naked.

My face flushed red, "Here are your shillings, John." I said. My guards handed him the money.

"Thank you," he gave me a hug and I felt his member poking at my stomach, "I will never forget your kindness."

"You're welcome."

"Now, is there anything you would like me to do in your favor."

A thought crossed my mind, John could be my guard. If my father thought I didn't know him, then he'd hire him to keep me in line.

"Yes, there is an opening for a new guard at the castle," there actually was since one died last night, "and I'd like you to try out for the job."

"Anything for you, Prince Noah."

"Just call me Noah. You don't have to say prince, I hate labels."

"OK, are you sure? I mean you're royalty for a reason, and you have your titles."

"Fuck titles, I'm still a human."

"I think I'm gonna enjoy being your friend." I blushed as we entered the tower my father stood there with his arms crossed.

"Who the fuck is this?! You know what, never mind, where were you?!" He yelled.

"I went into town, and this is John he's trying out as our replacement guard," I said.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever he's hired. Now, back to you, where did you go?"

"I went to town to find a replacement for the guard who died yesterday."

"Really? Then where did my money go?"

"What money?"

"There's money missing from my vault and you're the only one with the code."

"I'm telling you I know nothing about the 40,000 shillings that disappeared from your vault."

"Ah-ha. How would you know it was 40,000 shillings that went missing if you didn't do it?"

"Shit."

"Noah, you're grounded."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means you're not allowed to go anywhere but your room and I'll assign John to look after you."

A wide grin spread across my face, "OK, Father." I walked up to my room and John followed me.

"Whoa, your room is so large," John exclaimed.

"I guess," I said flopping down on my bed.

"You've got a good life."

"Well, now you can have this life too."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'll let you have one half of the room and I'll have the over half."

"Thank you."

"Anytime, but first let's get you some clothes."

He smiled and I went downstairs and asked Diana for an extra large guard uniform.

"Hope it's good enough for you," Diana said in a snarky tone.

"And I hope you die in your sleep." I walked away as she sobbed.

I ran back upstairs and handed my guard his outfit. He put it on and it fit him perfectly.

"So, as a guard, what do I do?" He asked.

"Well, my father wants you to watch me and make sure I don't leave my room, but I was hoping you'd join me on my quest to the Trappolian Empire."

"I'd love to go."

I laughed, "You're not a very good guard."

"That's not very nice."

"Aww, I'm joking."

"Joking?"

"This is gonna be a long afternoon," I mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing, but joking is where I say something that I don't mean and it's supposed to funny."

"Oh, I think I get it."

"Good, now let's go, we'll take a few horses and ride to the Trappolian Empire."

"Wait, why are we going there?"

"I going to meet this princess and make sure she also doesn't wanna get married."

"Why don't you wanna get married?"

"You have a lot of questions don't you?"

"Yeah."

"Well, that's OK, I don't wanna get married because—"

"Because why?"

"Promise you won't tell a soul."

"Yes."

"I don't like women. I prefer to have sexual relations with other men."

"Noah?"

"Yes?"

"Don't worry, I do too."

***

We arrived in Trappolian after a three-hour horse ride. We walked inside the castle and I saw a tall woman arguing with her parents.

"Hello, can I help you?" A small girl my size who looked to be thirteen or fourteen asked.

"Oh, I'm here to speak with Princess Karenina."

The tall woman turned and looked at me as did her parents. "Who needs to see me?" The woman asked.

"I do your highness," I said.

"What do you need from me?"

"I am prince Noah of the Vathepan Empire."

"Oh, so you're the little shit who's ruining my life."

"Your highness, be reasonable, I don't want us to get married any more than you do."

"Talk to me upstairs." I followed her upstairs with John close behind.