Breaking free (GxG)

Chapter 34 - Sunrise

“What time is it?”, I asked groggily as I reached for the nightstand to get my phone.

It was the morning for sure but the sunlight wasn’t even coming through the window. We hadn’t gotten any sleep except for the small breaks we would take between our rounds, which we couldn’t consider as sleep. 05:30.

“What do you want to do? You wanna go home?”, Taylor asked in a whisper against my ear and started kissing my neck as she rolled on top of me.

“Or we can take a quick shower here and get breakfast at the beach to watch the sunrise”, I offered and felt her nodding in approbation as she continued to kiss my neck.

I slid my hands up and down her back and smiled when she raised her head to look at me. She looked tired but still gorgeous. She showed me her perfectly aligned teeth and lay her lips on mine eagerly, instantly adding pressure and lust into the kiss. I was obviously responsive, and I did want to keep going, but if we wanted to get out of this hotel room we had to start moving. So I made us move to the shower and I finally let Taylor resume.

My back quickly hit the wall as Taylor’s body pressed against mine sensually. Our lips were intensely active and our hands were already on a wandering journey on each other’s body, trying to take in everything they could. But my hands had to leave this soft skin when Taylor spun me around to make me face the wall. I felt her stopping for two seconds, probably to let me breathe a little.

“Is this okay? I know you prefer seeing me”, she whispered softly in my ear.

I assessed my position quickly and realized I was missing something. I wasn’t fully comfortable. I was feeling trapped. I had my hands on the wall, my eyes fixed on them, while Taylor was holding my waist. I wasn’t against the idea of her wanting to get new perspectives but I needed more of her. I needed to be with her in this moment.

“I need… Tay, I’m not… I need to feel more of you”, I confessed uneasily and immediately felt vulnerable and self-conscious.

“Hey, it’s all good”, she whispered soothingly against my ear.

Taylor laid her hands on top of mine on the wall and guided them closer to my body, taking advantage of that to move around me to occupy the space between me and the wall. Seeing her was a big relief for me and it was helping me calm down.

“I’m really sorry for making you uncomfortable”, Taylor apologized in her usual careful and considerate tone.

I wasn’t holding it against her at all, I wasn’t upset or anything, but hearing her say that was comforting in the sense that I was in front of someone who was listening to me, understanding me, and respecting my trauma in any circumstances. And it felt so amazing to once again realize that the woman I loved was a person who could help me get better and who was willing to work with me.

“It wasn’t you. It’s just… That position made me feel trapped and confined”, I expressed truthfully to give her some guidance. I needed to be honest and open up if I wanted to keep on making progress.

“Are you feeling a little better now?”, she asked softly and guided me backwards to take a step away from the wall, making us stand in the middle of the shower.

“Much better”, I answered with a nod to reassure her.

“I hope you don’t mind me asking. What bothered you the most? Not seeing me or not feeling me enough?”

“In this situation, not feeling you enough”, I said frankly.

“So if you can’t see me you need to feel me even more?”, she asked cautiously.