Chapter 94

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                         Gavin

                    (A week later)  
 
 Waking up noticing Simone was gone calling out her name with no response. I got up out of bed walked over to the window I saw her walking outside with a white dress on. She looks so enchanting in the sunrise I had to capture the moment of her in that glow. I smiled to myself how blessed to have the woman I should have been with all along and with our sons. I was about to join her when my phone rung.

 I was about to join her when my phone rung

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“Hello” “Hey, how is the honeymoon going,” Allen asked “Ending too soon.” “It happens. When you and Simone get back to talk to Jonah.” “Is he alright.” “Yeah, he feels a little guilty about keeping you two apart when as he says its apparent yall belong together.” I smiled. “Simone raised a great young man,” I said with a hint of sadness. “Gavin, you still have time.” “I know it’s just that I missed everything.” “No everything. He needs his dad.” “Thanks, man.” “Not a problem.” He said then hung up.
 
As I was about to go outside Simone walked in. “Good morning beautiful.” I said as I kissed her. “Good morning to you.” I stared at her. “I don’t want to leave. I want to stay here with you.” I said holding her. “I feel the same way.” I pulled away from the look in her eye was different, something was wrong. “I’m going to make some breakfast.” While Simone was cooking I went to take a shower. As the water cascaded down on my bare body as I used the water to try and relax.
 
After the shower, I went back to the kitchen to see Simone fixing our plates. We ate in silence after we were done I gathered the dishes washing them while Simone relaxed. Hearing her phone ring she was happy to see Jonah was face timing her. We talked for about an hour then he left to spend some time with his grandparents. Laying on the couch with Simone with her laying on top of me we were holding hands I broke the silence.
 
“Simone, what’s bothering you, and before you try to lie and say nothing remember I am your husband now your burdens are mine.” She tensed up then relaxed and I held her. “I feel like I’m losing you and Jonah to football.” “I can always quit.” “I don’t want that. It’s just we just got together as a family.” She stopped.

“Sweetheart football is not more important than you or Jonah. I love the game but I love you two more.” “It’s not that.” “Your going to be alone for the most part.” She nodded. I laughed. She tried to get up and I knew she was upset that I laughed. “I’m just going to practice for two weeks then I’m back home. You can come but Jonah and Steve need you. I going to miss you and go crazy not being able to wake up to your beautiful face. I do know we can talk and video chat but you won't be in my arms are near me. I love you I said better or worse and us being apart is worse.” Tilting her head toward me to make her look in my eyes.
 
“Our place is just that ours. We can meet and no one has to know. I love you, Simone, it’s hurting me too but I know we can get through this. Don’t worry about other women all I want is you beautiful.” “What made you come to rescue me in the snowstorm.” I laughed then gazed in her beautiful brown eyes placing a kiss upon her lips.  
 
“Do you remember in our vows I told you I know what life was like before you when you came, after you left, and then when you returned.” Simone faced me more as she slipped one of her hands in mine as I put my other hand around her waist then I continued. “Before you, I didn’t even know who I really was. When I meet you back in high school you and you alone made me find who I was and what I wanted.

When I replay back in my memories of us it would have to be when we talked that night in the park. I was a raw version of myself. I wasn't use to it, so much it scared me. It somehow made me begin to be a better version of me. I slacked off with the women then Allen and others pestered me about why I wasn’t I with them and turning them down. When we had the last night together you told me you loved me and I knew before I could love you the way you needed to be I needed to learn to love myself” I took a deep breath 
 
“When you said you were expecting I was the version of myself I was before you. I remember the first night I told you to have an abortion I went home sat in the room holding the bear no emotion; yet, your face haunted me all that night. That’s why could look at you after that.

That's why I went with other girls.” I stopped and giggled. “I remember I was about to fuck one girl but I couldn’t she went to school saying I couldn’t fuck, my dick doesn’t get hard, so I countered saying I can fuck I just didn’t fuck you because of your pussy smell like rotten eggs mixed with 10 day old dead fish.” Hearing Simone laugh made me laugh more.
 
“Seriously, when you left I had this emptiness deep in me I couldn’t understand that form of torture but I can't blame no one but me because I inflicted my own self. For the longest, I hated myself, even when I went into the NFL I still wasn’t happy. I never loved Maddison.

I hated myself and I was in this painful agony because I came to realize I missed you and I knew I loved you. Don’t question how or why I knew then when you wouldn’t escape my head. You were a drug shot in veins, hallucinating your eyes, your smile, your grace, just everything. I was in love with a woman who knew me better than I knew my own self and she was miles away, but I knew.” I kissed her hand.  
 
“When you walked in my office for me everything felt right, complete, however, it wasn’t the same for you. I fell in love with your eyes all over again. They always hold truth and sincerity. Even before we got married I you were the only woman to hold my heart and invade my soul. You took a broken boy who resisted and then shattered, but you.” I wiped the tear that escaped her eyes.
 
“You will never know how much I love you and how much I crave to dwell in the depth of your beautiful soul. I wasn’t scared to marry you because I have always trusted you. Without trust, there can't be an us. When you told me you love me for the first time, that’s the night I gave you all of me everything.” I kissed her. “Don’t cry, sweetheart.”

“When I first moved my grandma told me I had to go to school. I was not only the new girl but I was the pregnant new girl. Guys would say slick shit like I’ll give you another one, or you can't get knocked up more we can fuck. I was tortured and bullied ‘til I graduated. When I found out I was having a boy I cried. The doctor asked if I wanted a girl I said I was happy either way. Before she cut the monitor off I asked if she could leave it on for a few and I just wanted to see my son. She granted me the request stepping out of the room.” She smiled
 
“Looking at the screen I put my hand on my belly and I said I want you to know you were not an accident and mommy and daddy love you, I hope you come out like your dad he’s a great man just dealing with a pain someone orchestrated in his life. We just have to love him harder and hope he feels our love.” “Simone”
 
“I tried Gavin,” She said getting up. “I tried to stop loving you and yearning you but it was always this ache in my heart and you were never out of my head. When I saw you I was torn when I was in the middle of a tug of war and I knew I would go with my son but I knew the love for you was still present. I hated and loved you at the same damn time.

I hated you more than I loved you. Jonah was in so much anguish it diminished my love for you. When you came and we were in the cabin I wanted us. I felt guilty because I knew
Jonah’s feelings but I couldn’t ignore mine anymore. When we lost our baby I knew I didn’t and couldn’t lose you and Jonah.” She said as I hugged her.
 
“We are a family and we are getting stronger each day. Down the line, we are going to grow more and this time I will be here every step of the way you will never be alone again.” I kissed her passionately.
 

“We are growing sooner than you think hubby.” She looked at me smiling.
 

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