The Hidden Truth

Ch.59 Going Back

A/N- There's an important question from me in my little note at the end... please read and answer! Love ya! Enjoy!
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Christian just got here. We're now loading all of our bags into my car. We aren't leaving until early tomorrow morning. I'm planning on ordering pizza and putting on a movie for tonight.

Darcy made some really good points that I'm still thinking about. I even made some realizations that I can't stop thinking about. I simply don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm going to do once we get in New York.

Me and Christian walk back up to my apartment in silence. I unlock my door and walk in. He closes the door behind us and sighs as he sits down on my couch. I stand leaning against the island, looking at him. He turns his head to look at me and stands up.

"What's going on?" He asks me walking closer.

"What are you talking about?" I ask. He places his hands on my hips and gets closer to me.

"I mean, ever since we had sex, you've been distant. Did I do something wrong? Are you okay?" He says gently. I look down at my feet, my arms crossed over my chest. "Eden, look at me. Are we okay?" My eyes meet his quickly.

"Yes, we're okay." I lean into him and he wraps his arms around my back. I rest my head against his chest and breathe him in. "I'm sorry. This whole thing just has my mind all over the place." He squeezes me tighter and kisses the top of my head.

"I know. Going back there is most likely going to be difficult for you, but I'll be there the whole time." He says pulling away and looking at me. He picks me up and sets me on the counter before passionately kissing me. I lift his shirt off his body and he in turn takes mine off.

"Wait." I say. He stops kissing me and I pull my shirt back over my head before hopping off the counter. "I just can't. There's a lot happening and I can't." He watches me with such intensity in his eyes.

"You can't do what?" He forces out quietly. I realize that might've sounded different then I intended it to, so I walk up to him and wrap my arms around him.

"I just can't move this fast. Last night was such a rash and quick decision, I just- I don't want to rush anything." I say. He nods against me and eventually reciprocates the hug.

"I'm going to order pizza." I say pulling away from him. He nods and sits back down on the couch. I hope I didn't hurt him but the other night was way too fast. That was way too soon. I can't bring myself to do that again. It's not that it was bad, it just didn't feel right.

I pick up my phone and call the pizza place that's just around the corner. I've gotten to know the delivery people very well. Their pizza is just so good.

Once I'm done ordering the pizza I sit down next to Christian. I silently turn on the tv and put on a Netflix show we've been watching together.

"I'm sorry." I squeak out again. He rests his hand on my knee and moves his gaze to my eyes.

"Don't apologize for not wanting to have sex with me. You've been through a lot." He says. "It's really not all that important of a thing. I mean you make me crazy because your so beautiful, but I can go without if you don't want to." I blush and turn my attention to the tv.

Soon the pizza comes and we eat while laughing and watching tv. I fall asleep in his arms and I honestly and so excited to go back. I can't wait to see everyone. Marie, Val, Kian, Ross, Travis, and Sage. I've missed them all so much.

Kian gave me so much trouble when I left for college. He didn't want me to go. He kept saying no cherub! Please stay!' I miss him. I miss his craziness. He was heartbroken when I broke up with Sage, maybe even more than me and Sage were put together.

I wake up in the morning to my annoying alarm. Christians arms tighten around me at the sound and I lightly tap his bare chest to wake him. I need to turn off the alarm otherwise I might just cry. I hate the sound of alarms. He blinks his eyes awake and releases me. I reach my arm over to the nightstand and turn it off. Then I turn back around and cuddle back into Christian.

"Morning." He says. His voice is raspy and deep with sleep. I smile and kiss his cheek.

"Good morning. We have to get ready." I say. I'm not doing much at all to get ready. I climb out of his arms and take a shower. He takes one after me, even though he begged me to take a shower with him. It was fun the other night but we don't have time to spare for, things.

I get dressed in leggings and one of Christian's sweatshirts. It's big on me and I'm ready for a long car ride. It's about a 7 hour car ride. I think we'll probably take turns driving.

Once we're both showered and dressed, we grab our last things and head down to my car. Christian says he's okay with driving this early so I let him. I don't like driving long distances this early, I'm afraid I'll get too tired and fall asleep.

He climbs into the driver seat and I climb into the passenger. I place my purse at my feet and take out my phone. I plug it into the aux and put on some music. He starts driving and I'm so ready to be back. I can't wait to see mom.

I also need to visit the Carolina guys. They're all still in North Carolina. Axel, Rodney, Jack, Louis, and Mark. My friend Ivy actually goes to the same college as me. She's even in a few of my classes. I caught her up on everything that happened after Rose's funeral.

I'm doing great. My life is awesome. But I can't wait to go back home. I don't know why I thought abandoning one of the best parts of my life was a good idea, but I did. I can't go back. And I've made a new life. I think it's okay for me to want to revisit them though. To see them.

What if I don't want to go back to Virginia? What if I come up here and realize that I miss it.

I won't though. As much as I miss them, I don't want the gang. I don't want that life, I don't need that life. So unless they want to leave it behind, I'm going back to Virginia.

After a while me and Christian switch spots. I'm driving and he's taking a much needed nap. When he wakes up after about an hour, we stop for food and then immediately get back on the road. We switch drivers one more time before we are 40 minutes away.

Suddenly, I'm extremely nervous. Like I haven't been here before, like I won't know these people. Have they changed?

I only really stuck around long enough to know that Val was okay after Shawn died. I still think about that too much. It's something that's constantly hovering over my shoulders. I think it will always plague me. It will always be with me. It was my fault.

"We're almost there." Christian says placing his hand on my thigh. I give him a small smile and nod.

"We're almost there."

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A/N

I really didn't think this would be up tonight but I had a sudden motivation.

We're coming to an end!!! Unless... you want a sequel? You have to tell me if you do though because I have another book that I will release after this if not...

Do you want a preview for a different book?

-Or-

A sequel to The Hidden Truth?

Let me know!!

Love ya!!!!!

xoxo- Jillian Elizabeth