Nadia
"It's a girl!"
"Awn, she's so cute, Ma sha Allah!"
"Not as cute as I was though, right mom?"
Jahid receives a light smack on the arm from ummi and he pouts.
The entire family gathers around my iPad to catch a glimpse of the new born snuggling comfortably in her mother's arms.
The smile on Lilo'd face is the biggest I've seen on her, even with her weariness from having been in labour only hours ago.
Riyadh and Jiddah peep into the bundle of blankets to stare at the baby, their faces lit with awe and surprise.
"Mom, can I have a baby brother next time?" Riyadh asks out of the blue, frowning slightly.
Tasleem lets out an awkward chuckle, the iPad tilting a little as his mother laughs.
"You're next, sister Nadia," Hafsah says to me with a soft smile before returning her gaze to the screen as ummi strikes up a conversation with Lilo's mother-in-law.
Suddenly feeling stuffy and uncomfortable, I excuse myself quietly and make my way up the stairs to the bedroom, taking as much time as I want. The pain in my lower back starts to ache slightly, something I've become accustomed to during these months.
Having a multiple birth pregnancy automatically puts me at a higher risk, and I've had to learn so much about my body within a short time to be able to deal with the discomforts and mild illnesses that come and go. And not to mention the fear that accompanies it, considering the numerous complications with childbirth. Like knowing there's a chance that the babies might come too soon and become premature or having a C-section.
Not only do I have to focus on my physical health and that of the babies, my regular sessions with the therapist also help me in dealing with my PTSD and learning to cope with it. I've long accepted that there are certain things that will always make me feel anxious than normal, days when I'll be anything but my usual self and the faces I'll never be able to forget... faces that I see in my nightmares, my hands stained with their blood.
I shake my head to disperse my thoughts, pulling myself slowly out of that dark corner of my mind till I'm once again able to feel my surroundings. From the steady beat of my heart to the woolly texture of the blanket I'm sitting on, till my gaze finally rests on the adorable little cots taking up half the space of our bedroom. It automatically brings a smile to my face, lifting my spirits immediately.
Less than three months to go. I lay a hand atop my abdomen, sliding my fingers in a gentle caress. As weird as it may sound, my unborn babies have become my anchor through these tough times and just the thought of them is enough to settle my nerves to an extent.
"For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease," I recite the two verses from Ash-Sharh, feeling the truth in my heart and soul.
Verily, the word of my Ilaah is true.
Like some days when Jamal isn't with me and I feel absolutely distraught and fearful, just channelling my thoughts on them is able to bring back some sense of normalcy. I'd told Jamal once how our unborn babies are like the ease during my time of difficulty.
Three months until I see my little babies, or even sooner.
I'd learnt a while back, that multiple birth pregnancies don't usually reach the full term of 38-40 weeks. The mothers go into labour at 30-32weeks, some even needing to be put on bedrest for weeks before delivery.
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Our Stormy Ride
Spiritual#1 Ar-Rahma Series Their names were written down together long before the universe had been created. Life throws them at each other. They collide. An arranged marriage. Their Stormy Ride. For Nadia Ali, life was just as ordinary as a plain white cl...
