Everything To Lose

Chapter 3

It was 2 am. Lexa was driving around the town stopping at the usual bars Clarke liked to party at, looking around for her, describing her to the bar tenders, but nothing. They hadn't seen her. At least not tonight. She was trying really hard to not let her anxiety take over. Wherever Clarke was, she'd be safe... right? She had friends with her, that's what Raven said at least. She left for a party with two guys. She hated herself for never asking Clarke for her friend's numbers. Lexa had met the gang a few times. There was Bellamy, Murphy, Echo, Emori, Monty and Harper. They seemed like nice people.

It was 4 am now and Lexa was pacing the floor in their living room. Trying to stay objective about all of this. Even though her mind kept taking her to a place where she couldn't help but hate that Clarke would treat her this way. This wasn't like her at all. She started at her phone once more. Raven was still up. She seemed to be typing again.

"Lexa, trust me. I'm sure she must have stayed over at Harper's or something. She'll be fine. You should get some rest."

"Thanks Rae, but I'm fine. I want to be awake when she's in. God forbid she's too drunk to stand again."

"Stubborn as always when it comes to Clarke. Fine. I'm up too anyway. So keep me posted."

"You're a good friend Rae. Really, thanks."

Lexa tried busying herself, she did the laundry, she rearranged their books on the shelf, she organised the files stored on her desktop, anything to keep her mind off the possibilities that her mind conjured up for why Clarke isn't home yet.

It was 7 am now. And a soft click of the lock on the door woke her from the 5 minute nap she'd dozed off into, head down on the kitchen island. She had to blink a few times to really be able to see clearly but she wouldn't miss that blonde hair anywhere.

"Clarke, is that you?"

"Lexa why are you up?" Lexa thought she heard Clarke say. But she couldn't be sure cause Clarke was facing away from her, facing the bowl they kept their keys in when they came home.

That was all it took for Lexa's anger to show. She jumped off the bar stool and walked towards Clarke

"Why am I up? Are you for real right now? You promised me you'd be home at 10, you promised me we'd talk."

Clarke was silent.

"You don't get to ignore me right now babe, I've been worried sick about you, where were you, I drove all around the city, desperately searching every bar you been frequenting..."

Lexa was right behind Clarke right now, she reached out to touch her shoulder and Clarke flinched and turned around.

Two things shocked Lexa at that moment.

That Clarke would flinch at her touch.
Clarke's eyes. They were red. The rims were dark, her make-up, ruined. Like she'd cried her heart out on her way home.

Lexa's demeanour changed. Suddenly she didn't care about anything else but murdering anyone who may have hurt Clarke enough to cause this.

Lexa's hands flew to caress Clarke's face and she stepped closer, almost protectively.

"Who did this? Where were you? Let me make this right Clarke... please..." Lexa was fighting everything in her to not let her own emotion show. It broke her to see Clarke that way, to feel so helpless. She needed to do something.

"You can't..." was all she got from Clarke, before Clarke tugged her hands away and ran upstairs, holing her hand to her mouth to muffle the sobs trying to make their way out from her chest.

Lexa followed behind her.

Clarke had run into their bedroom, and straight to the shower, locking herself inside. Lexa called out...
"Clarke, please let me in..."