Everything To Lose

Chapter 16

Lexa felt her heart stop. What! She thought. She was frozen in place. Needing to properly understand what Clarke was insinuating.

"I went back to the clinic about 6 months after we were last there..."

"What are you saying Clarke?" Lexa interrupted. Still not willing to turn around and look Clarke in the eyes.

"He's the one, Lex. He's a part of me, and in some way a part of you. And he has nothing to do with that night..."

"Clarke..."

"I swear, Bellamy is a stranger to me. Raven runs into him now and then, but he's dead to me. I have never let Aden near him, and he has no relation to him. Aden is ours..." Clarke was rambling.

"Stop. I can't..." Lexa was trying to get the words out, but she couldn't process any of what Clarke was saying. She simply stormed off upstairs leaving Clarke a mess, standing helplessly at the foot of the stairs.

Lexa stared at the digits on her phone. It was 3 am. And she wasn't getting sleep. She sighed and turned on her side. It felt surreal being here. They're old guest room. Her old bedroom was just down the hall. Clarke must be asleep she thought. She wondered if Clarke still rolled over a lot in her sleep. She wondered if Clarke had sleepless nights when she was pregnant with Aden.

Aden.

"Uggghhh!" She sighed in frustration. She had been trying to get her mind off him. And off what Clarke had told her. But her mind would have none of it. She kept going back to thinking of him. Him and Clarke. She dug her face into the pillow, groaned and then sat up. She got out of bed and walked over to Aden's room, where Madi was sleeping too. From the door she peeked in, needing to make sure Madi was sound asleep, given this was her first night in this new home.

Madi was sleeping like a baby. She wilfully decided not to look towards where the little boy was sleeping in his bed on the other side of the room. She stepped away from their door and walked downstairs.

She poured herself a glass of water and sipped on it slowly. She looked at the time on her phone. 3.05 am. It was going to be one long night.

Her tummy rumbled. These days it found odd times to sound off her hunger alarm. She looked towards the fridge. She knew it would be there. Clarke had prepared enough to feed an army. She walked towards the fridge and found it on the second shelf.

The pot roast leftovers packed in an air tight container. She looked around. Everyone was asleep. And she'd been hating herself from the moment she made that stupid comment about not liking pot roast anymore with an intention to hurt Clarke. But here she was, tempted now to eat it anyway.

"Fuck it" she said as she took it out of the fridge served herself a portion on a plate, heated it in the microwave and sat herself down at the kitchen island. The aroma filled her senses with good feelings. Feelings she forbid herself from feeling when the aroma hit her during dinner time. Because it smelled like home. Home with Clarke on an evening after a bad day at work, when Clarke would make a pot roast just to cheer her up, knowing full well that Lexa loved nothing more than she loved this.

Lexa took her first bite and she had to close her eyes as her taste buds celebrated every ingredient perfectly blended together. A small moan escaped her as she ate and it made her laugh at how silly this might look to an onlooker.

Clarke was a wonderful cook, and Aden was lucky to have her as his mom.

Aden.

Lexa stopped eating. She stared at the remaining food left on her plate. Their child. Aden.

"Hah! I knew it!" came a voice from the dark that startled Lexa.

"Raven! Don't do that to me ever again, I swear you're lucky my reflexes didn't kick in"