Everything To Lose

Chapter 25

Lexa touched her cheek, she was sure it may have turned red. But she probably deserved it. Once again, she had no control over her anger, hurting Clarke in the process.

Aden was walking towards the car now, so Lexa tried to school her features, needing to seem normal for him.

"Hey buddy"

"Where's momma? I wanted to go to the loo so I told her I'll meet her at the car."

"She had to go back in for something, baby. Why don't you sit in. she'll be right out."

The boy happily sat in the backseat and Lexa waited patiently outside the car, her eyes fixed on the school building entrance. After about 10 minutes she spotted Clarke walking out. Her eyes red rimmed and puffy. It caught a few people's attention and she felt super bad about it.

When Clarke was closer she said "Clarke...I..."

"Let's go home" was all she got from Clarke before she sat in the passenger seat.

They began to drive, and somehow, on their way, Aden had picked up on the mood in the car. He was quiet and pensive. Lexa tried making conversation with him but he didn't want to talk much.

Lexa stopped the car outside the ice cream parlour then turned around and asked him

"Come on buddy, let's go get you some ice cream"

"I don't want ice cream anymore" Now Clarke turned to look at him too. He looked sad.

"Why not baby, we're celebrating, you had such a good year at school"

"I'm not feeling like ice cream anymore" he said

"Okay bud, what do you want to have instead? You name it, I'll take you there"

"I'm not hungry" he said and looked out the window.

Lexa looked towards Clarke for assistance on what to do next. All Clarke said was, "Let's go"

So Lexa continued their drive on home.

On reaching home, Aden ran inside quickly. Clarke strode in and Lexa tried to catch up with her. She knew she'd hurt Clarke immeasurably with her words and she wished she could take them back.

"Clarke... I'm sorry..."

She turned to face Lexa and said softly "You said what you had to say Lexa. You don't have to apologize for it"

Lexa wanted to say so much but her own feelings were conflicted now. She was beginning to care so much about what Clarke thought and about how Clarke must feel. In retrospect, she came here with an intention to show Clarke how she couldn't care less. But the fact is, there was always a part of her that loved Clarke. That would care for Clarke. But seeing Bellamy today really brought out her anger. It was like being transported back to that day all over again. So could she really help it?

All her anger was trying to make it's way out, and Lexa couldn't wait for the day when she would just be exhausted of it, exhausted of making Clarke feel so horrible.

She walked inside to find Raven and Anya home. Anya had picked Madi up from school and they were all congratulating Aden on a good year.

Raven then came towards the kitchen and started scooping out some ice cream in a few bowls.

"Where did that come from?" Lexa asked her.

"Clarke told me he wanted ice cream and then he changed his mind. Knowing him, we knew he'd come home and want ice cream again. So she texted me asking me to pick some up on my way here"